Midlife Crisis And Depression: How To Respond And Improve Your Mental Health

While there may be many ways to define a “midlife crisis,” the term generally connotes a sense of fear, anxiety, and inner turmoil, specifically as people approach middle age. More research is likely needed to understand why some people experience more anxiety and depression as they transition to midlife. Regardless of how we define or study midlife crises, these feelings are valid and can be manageable with coping strategies and emotional support, which can be achieved through online or in-person therapy.

What is a midlife crisis?

As noted above, psychologists and other researchers usually offer several definitions of a midlife crisis, varying widely depending on an individual’s personality, culture, upbringing, and other personal factors. 

With this caveat in mind, some common midlife crisis “symptoms” may include the following:

• Sadness, regret, and rumination over perceived mistakes or missed opportunities
• Nostalgia and reflection on youthful memories
• Heightened anxiety and depression 
• Abrupt career or lifestyle changes
• Noticeable changes in appearance 
• Cheating and marital infidelity  
• Reckless financial decisions
• Poor sleep habits, weight loss or gain, and other changes in health behaviors

Ultimately, everyone’s experience of midlife can be unique, and many people live their entire lives without experiencing any of these signs or symptoms. 

Is the midlife crisis real?

Some psychologists and other researchers debate whether the concept of a midlife crisis is “real.” The answer may not be black and white but, instead, can be highly dependent on your circumstances, place of origin, and preferred language. 

In a 2022 study, researchers argued that the midlife crisis is more than just a theory. Based on decades’ worth of data on the health and well-being of around 500,000 individuals, the study found that people in midlife were usually twice as likely to be depressed compared to those under 25 or over 65. 

Importantly, these data were obtained from the UK, the U.S., France, and other developed countries, where researchers have generally identified a paradoxical association between high living standards and unhappiness. 

While some people proceed through midlife without noticeable changes in their health or well-being, this life stage may correspond with significant lifestyle shifts and societal pressures. A middle-aged person may care for an aging parent, grapple with their children’s growing independence, or make a job decision that could change the course of their career. 

The accumulation of these changes and dynamics can lead to a personal “crisis” – or, at the very least, a heightened awareness of one’s age, past accomplishments, and goals for the rest of their life. 

Midlife crisis and depression

The Centers for Disease Control emphasize that depression is not a “normal” part of aging, but a treatable condition that can develop at any stage in a person’s life. 

Depression, also called major depressive disorder, can be an environmentally or biologically based mood disorder. If you’re trying to distinguish depression from other symptoms of aging, a licensed psychiatrist can assess your symptoms and offer a diagnosis. 

While every depressed person may feel differently depending on the severity of the condition, some of the most common signs of depression include: 

• Feelings of persistent sadness, pessimism, guilt, and/or worthlessness
• Irritability and restlessness
• Insomnia
• Loss of interest in former hobbies 
• Low energy and fatigue
• Poor eating habits or appetite loss
• Digestive problems, headaches, aches, and pains that persist, even with treatment

When comparing depression to a midlife crisis, the most differentiating factor may involve the persistence and intensity of symptoms. In general, a depressed person isn’t simply experiencing a case of the “blues,” but may be living with a diagnosable and treatable condition.  

Strategies to navigate a midlife crisis

There can be several ways to confront the realities of aging and embrace the challenges – and rewards – of midlife with confidence. As you navigate this normal transition, the following five strategies can help you combat depression, anxiety, and other age-related concerns. 

1. Rediscover your hobbies

You may never be too old to reinvest in a childhood hobby or try something new. Hobbies aren’t just fun; from a health perspective, some of your favorite pastimes can boost confidence, promote relaxation, and even improve cognitive abilities. 

Puzzles, reading, word games, and other cognitively demanding activities can improve specific cognitive skills, such as visual-spatial reasoning, memory, and problem-solving. Naturally, more active hobbies like sports, hiking, and yoga can offer physical and mental benefits.

You can pick your favorite hobby (or a few), follow your natural interests, and reconnect to the spirit of fun while meeting other people with similar interests and goals. 

2. Find a community

Depending on your hobbies and location in the world, your “community” can take various forms and evolve over time. A person’s community may include their friends, coworkers, and family members, but it can also expand to incorporate acquaintances and even strangers.

Regardless of how you define “community,” building a network can help you feel more connected to the places and people around you. You can create a community through volunteering, regularly attending events in your neighborhood, or engaging in any activity organized around shared values or interests. 

A strong community can offer a sense of belonging, support, and purpose, which can help you navigate feelings of aimlessness or uncertainty as you transition to midlife.

3. Care for your body

Nutrient-dense food, exercise, and regular sleep may seem like self-explanatory elements of long-term health. Yet as you age and take on more responsibilities, you may be tempted to skip over these daily routines. 

In their 40s through 60s, people may be caring for children and other family members, balancing busy work schedules, and encountering new stressors. In the face of these realities, some people find it challenging to maintain healthy relationships with food, exercise, and sleep.

To the best of your abilities, try to prioritize self-care and healthy living at all stages of life, but especially as you age into your 40s and beyond. While you might undergo natural aging changes in your body, sleep, and physical abilities, setting realistic goals can be key. 

Take time to reflect on your current diet and exercise routine and make gradual changes in alignment with your goals. For example, you may begin to walk twice a week with your neighbor for 30 minutes, incorporate an extra serving of vegetables into your daily diet, or commit to reading before bed rather than scrolling on your phone. 

There’s no need to begin training for a marathon or eating a 100% “clean” diet; instead, focus on small changes that make you feel strong, rested, and restored. 

4. Reassess your relationship with aging

Technically, middle age may be just another phase of life. However, in many cultures, there can be longstanding stigmas and biases associated with people in their 40s and older. 

For instance, in a recent study, researchers found that middle-aged women tend to be treated differently when they reach their 40s. The study participants consistently rated a hypothetical middle-aged woman as colder and less friendly than a middle-aged man. Stereotypes of middle-aged women as grumpy and “naggy” can complicate their social lives and career prospects. 

Across genders, researchers have noted misconceptions about middle-aged people and their competence in the workplace, social environments, physical activities, and even when using technology. On an individual basis, people can challenge ageism by reflecting on their age-related beliefs and impressions, and by bringing attention to age-based discrimination in their workplaces and other environments. 

As you age and engage with people from different generations, try to be mindful of these biases and take time to reflect on the benefits of aging. Age often coincides with more financial and professional stability, enabling people to reimagine their lifestyles, make exciting career or geographic moves, or pick up new skills or degrees.

5. Invest in your mental health

For some people, difficult feelings arise as they approach midlife and experience psychological and physical changes. You may attribute these feelings to a depressive episode or singular event, but if symptoms persist, a licensed therapist may be a useful resource to turn to. 

How online therapy can help you navigate complex times

Some people prefer to work with an in-person therapist, but many now use online therapy to incorporate quality mental health care into their schedules. Using a digital platform like BetterHelp, you can match with a board-certified therapist within a few days of completing a brief questionnaire. Many people appreciate the ease and flexibility of online therapy, which enables busy schedules to mesh with sessions at convenient times and places, whether at home or in the office.

A growing body of research shows that online therapy can be as effective and more accessible than face-to-face options, including a 2019 study of online therapy for depressive symptoms. This study piloted an online life review therapy, an evidence-based treatment for depression in later life. The 58 participants (most of whom were middle-aged) all tended to improve significantly in their depressive symptoms, vitality, and sense of “mastery” or control over their lives.