The Midlife Crisis: Signs, Causes, And Coping Strategies

Coined by Canadian scientist Elliot Jacques in the 1960s, the term “midlife crisis” refers to a period in life, typically in middle age, when someone may question their identity and life choices. While many people may experience emotional turmoil or psychological distress in midlife, there is no scientific evidence that age itself triggers a life crisis. In this article, we’ll explore the symptoms and possible causes of a midlife crisis, as well as strategies that may help people cope with the challenges that can occur in midlife.  

Am I having a midlife crisis?

If you’re experiencing a midlife crisis, finding the right words to describe this life phase may be challenging. You may also be unsure whether your experiences amount to a crisis or reflect the natural fluctuations of midlife. To answer these questions, psychologists offer several broadly related definitions of a midlife crisis. These definitions emphasize the significant life events, physical changes, and occupational considerations that may unfold during middle age. 

However, some middle-aged people may find that midlife crisis best describes their experiences and inner turmoil. If the notion of a midlife crisis resonates with you, an empathic psychologist can validate your experiences, thoughts, and feelings related to this life stage.

Symptoms of a midlife crisis

If you or a loved one are approaching middle adulthood, you may be familiar with some of the most common midlife crisis “symptoms,” which may include:

• Regret about perceived failures or life choices
• Jealousy toward others with admirable or more “successful” lives
• Erratic behavior, often motivated by intense or heightened emotions
• Changes in appearance, spending, sleep habits, and other lifestyle characteristics
• Nostalgia or obsessive reflection on memories

While these symptoms can indicate a midlife crisis, this life stage is not a diagnosis. In some cases, individuals may develop or become aware of a mental illness in their midlife. A mental health condition may exacerbate any age-related challenges they may be experiencing. Relatedly, there are no midlife crisis “treatment” options. If someone exhibits any of these signs, a psychologist may recommend a combination of therapy and personalized strategies to promote self-reflection, resilience, and overall mental health.

What causes a midlife crisis?

Several factors and events can lead to or “cause” a midlife crisis. However, this experience often stems from a complex variety of factors and may not be distilled into a singular cause. For those who are having a midlife crisis, the following causes may be most commonly reported. 

Physical changes

Muscle aches, stiffness, hormonal changes, and other signs of aging can cause individuals to be more self-conscious and potentially less confident in their physical abilities and appearance. This change can cause low self-esteem and negative self-talk, which may worsen mental health. 

Changes in career path

In their 40s and beyond, some people start to reconsider their professional, personal, or spiritual lives. They may realize they’re no longer passionate about their job or decide to quit a stable role to pursue a more rewarding or less stressful path. In addition, they may be uncomfortable with family roles or start to understand their sexuality more profoundly. 

Divorce

For some families and couples, middle age is a time of marital tumult, giving rise to the term “gray divorce.” As of 2019, 36% of people getting divorced were aged 50 and older, according to a 2022 study. These findings align with data collected by the Pew Research Center, which showed that the divorce rate after age 50 nearly doubled from 1990 to 2015.

Other family matters

Even when they remain partnered, some middle-aged couples experience empty nest syndrome when their adult children leave their homes. As they approach middle age, both single people and couples may also have to arrange care for their aging parents.

Collectively or on their own, these factors can generate worry and other uncomfortable feelings in middle-aged people. The aging process can raise serious questions about your mortality and life satisfaction and how you can improve your life (and your relationship with aging). 

Strategies to help confront a midlife crisis

If you are worried about a midlife crisis or helping a loved one with a crisis of their own, the following four strategies may help you manage the realities of aging and boost your physical, mental, and emotional health.

Practice self-care

If you’re navigating a midlife crisis, implementing certain lifestyle habits may help you feel more confident about aging healthily. Healthy lifestyle habits such as eating plenty of nourishing foods, getting regular exercise, and limiting alcohol use can have a significant impact on your physical and mental health.

Exercise can sharpen cognitive functioning and reduce your risk of anxiety and depression, while a balanced diet and regular sleep can support a well-functioning mind and body. You may be surprised by your body's natural resilience and capabilities when you continue to care for yourself during middle age and beyond.

Reflect on your relationship with aging

It may be possible for midlife crises to stem from a profound discomfort with midlife and aging. It may help to reflect on negative images or stereotypes you associate with middle age and actively combat these assumptions with your accomplishments. For example, you might ask yourself the following: 

• To date, what achievements am I most proud of? 
• What would I like to do or achieve next? 
• Who do I want to spend more time with?
• What dreams would I follow if I were not afraid? 

Instead of viewing the years after midlife as a natural descent, write down or verbalize these goals as reminders of the opportune years ahead. You can also identify sources of gratitude, excitement, and uncertainty, which may offer direction and inspiration for various life choices in the years to come.

Invest in your hobbies and community

Consider taking a moment to reflect on your favorite activities and most treasured relationships. In the bustle of everyday life, perhaps your hobbies have fallen to the wayside, or you haven’t met up with that old friend whose company always lightens your mood. 

Life can get busy, and there may be seasons when you struggle to invest as much time into certain hobbies, relationships, and communities. Still, every moment can count. Consider scheduling these moments into your calendar for an extra dose of accountability. You might try scheduling a brief phone call with a friend, a walk in the morning before work, or 15 minutes after dinner to play a favorite card game with your spouse.

Whatever the activity, meaningful hobbies often offer a sense of purpose–and so can meaningful relationships. In some cases, hobbies and social connections go together; for example, you may forge friendships with those who play at your local tennis court or attend the same trivia night. These connections and activities can promote lifelong learning and higher self-esteem and may protect your cognitive health.

Seek professional support

While some people associate aging with poor mental health outcomes, the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) emphasizes that depression is not a normal part of growing older. Everyone experiences some degree of emotional distress occasionally, but depression is a diagnosable and persistent mental health condition affecting people of all ages.

At any life stage, taking care of your mental health can be essential to your overall health, well-being, and relationships. A therapist offering midlife crisis treatment options can help you perceive the benefits and joys of becoming older and guide you in developing strategies to confront midlife challenges.

Some people prefer in-person therapy, but others across the age spectrum may view online therapy as an affordable and convenient alternative. Whether you’re going through a midlife crisis or interested in talking about aging, an online therapist through a platform like BetterHelp can validate your concerns and schedule sessions at a time and place that works best for you. In addition, online platforms can allow you to choose between phone, video, or live chat sessions. 

Research, including a 2015 study of self-guided, internet-delivered cognitive behavior therapy (iCBT) for older adults, shows the efficacy of online therapy. The effectiveness of iCBT is widely supported, and studies suggest that both self-guided and clinician-led treatments can equally support adults with anxiety and depression. 

The above study found significant reductions in participants' symptoms of anxiety and depression, both immediately after treatment and at the three-month follow-up. The researchers also noted that iCBT was more cost-effective than traditional in-person therapy and improved participants’ health-related quality of life.