The Joy Of Normality: How Routines And Stability Can Contribute To Mental Health

Medically reviewed by Melissa Guarnaccia, LCSW
Updated March 24th, 2025 by BetterHelp Editorial Team

While many people tend to focus on milestones and exciting events in life, some of the most fulfilling moments may be hidden among the normal routines of everyday living. Becoming more mindful of these and paying attention to the present moment may help individuals realize how much joy there is to find in their normal routines. Keep reading to learn more about the art of finding joy in normality and how this practice may improve overall well-being. 

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Research on the underestimation of everyday moments

One series of studies published in Psychological Science explored the effects of thinking about normal, everyday moments from the past. The studies were led by Ting Zhang, PhD, Assistant Professor of Business Administration at Harvard Business School. 

In the first study, participants were asked to create a time capsule by writing about several ordinary events or things from their current life, such as a recent conversation, a social event, or favorite songs. Participants were then asked to rate how meaningful they thought it would be to recall those things in the future. Three months later, the researchers showed them their time capsules, and the participants were shown to have systematically underestimated how meaningful they thought it would be to remember those everyday moments. In other words, most found more meaning in this process of reflection than they expected to. The Association of Psychological Science puts it this way: “The research suggests that undervaluing mundane events may actually lead us to forego what would be pleasurable experiences of rediscovery.”

Research on “typical” moments versus extraordinary moments

In another study by the same group, participants were asked how much they believed they would appreciate reading about an everyday, typical experience with their partner versus reading about an “extraordinary” experience, such as a Valentine’s Day celebration. Overall, the participants tended to accurately predict how much they would appreciate remembering an extraordinary event, but they tended to underestimate how meaningful it would be to remember the typical experience.

Why does appreciating normal moments benefit well-being?

There are various explanations for why noticing or remembering the good in everyday moments may contribute to overall well-being. One hypothesis is related to the fact that ordinary moments don’t usually come with high expectations. Pictures of those events might not have people posing like they would for a picture while on vacation, for example. Documentation of the ordinary events in life often remind us of the small moments we’d forgotten about that can bring us joy to recall. 

Also, daily life circumstances often change slowly, so a person may forget the little details of their life before. Many people find that remembering everyday moments from their past—whether from a year ago or from when they were children—can be a significant source of meaning. 

A woman takes a photo of her good while sitting at a table in a restaurant
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How to focus more on the joy of normality

Many people have heard about the importance of appreciating everyday moments more, but they might wonder how to go about this. The following are a few strategies that could help.

Write down memories

One way to appreciate moments from one’s everyday routine is to write them down. By putting everyday events into words and recalling them from time to time, people may develop a greater appreciation for everyday moments in life. This could take the form of an ongoing list of small moments that brought you joy, jotting down a line or two about what you did each day, or keeping a journal where you reflect on your life monthly or quarterly.

Take pictures and videos

Another way to find and appreciate the joy in the mundane is to take pictures and videos of ordinary moments. For example, you might take pictures of a beloved setting, like your living room or a favorite place at the park, or you might take a video clip of friends playing a game or your partner cooking a meal. Reviewing these later may bring moments of joy months and even years down the road. 

Schedule time to recall ordinary moments

In the studies mentioned above, participants were asked three to seven months later to read words they had written about ordinary parts of their life. Recalling those moments several months later led to greater appreciation for the mundane than they had expected. 

To get the most out of your efforts to appreciate normality, you might consider setting a reminder three to six months from the present—or even a year or two from the present—to read the words you wrote down about ordinary moments. Similarly, you might set a reminder to look at pictures you took of everyday moments with your wife, husband, or partner, your children, your friends, or your pets.

The value of routines and stability for mental well-being

In addition to noticing the joy in everyday moments, it may also benefit your mental health to cultivate healthy habits and routines that you engage in daily. For example, a paper on the power of routines during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic suggests that “Everyday life can actually be seen as the fundamental context for resilience during trauma and chronic stress.” Even outside of stressful times, routines can be powerful.

Examples of positive routines can vary widely depending on the person, their lifestyle, and what they enjoy. Taking a yoga class each morning, eating a nutrient-rich dinner with your roommate, partner, or family each night, or practicing meditation before bed each night are examples of healthy lifestyle choices that can have a direct impact on mental health. This is at least partly because exercise, nutritious foods, community, and meditation can have mental health benefits. In addition, you might also find a sense of comfort, gratitude, and joy in simple routines like petting the neighbor dog each time you leave your home or enjoying your coffee as you look out the window each morning. Big or small, routines can help a person feel grounded and balanced, which may promote overall well-being.

Talking to a mental health professional about ways to cultivate well-being

Many people struggle with focusing too much on the future as they anticipate the happiness that may come from reaching goals or milestones. Some may also find themselves living in the future due to anxiety, guilt, or another mental health challenge. Whether you’re looking for support in addressing a mental health condition or guidance on becoming more mindful in your daily life, you might benefit from meeting with a therapist.

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The option of online therapy 

Some people have busy schedules that make it difficult to attend traditional in-person therapy, while others may not have many providers in their area. In these cases, support is still available through online therapy platforms. With an online therapy platform like BetterHelp, you can connect with a licensed therapist remotely at times that suit your schedule from anywhere you have an internet connection. You can speak with them via phone call, video call, and/or in-app messaging depending on what’s most convenient and comfortable for you.

In addition to offering flexible scheduling, research indicates that online therapy can also be effective for addressing various mental health challenges. For instance, in one study, researchers suggest that online cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can be effective for treating symptoms of generalized anxiety disorder, depression, panic disorder, adjustment disorder, and substance use disorder, among others. Keep in mind, however, that you don’t need to have a mental disorder to benefit from online therapy. Online therapists can also use mindfulness-based methods to help you remain in the present and get more joy from the mundane.  

Takeaway 

Research suggests that some of the most meaningful moments happen in everyday life. People who learn to be mindful of the present can often find joy in normality, whether they do it by writing about their daily life or taking more photos and reviewing them often. Cultivating positive routines may also benefit mental health. For additional support, you might find it helpful to meet with a therapist to learn more about addressing anxiety or otherwise living in the present moment.

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