How Cultural Variations Can Shape The Practice Of Monogamy

The idea of monogamy in human relationships is common around the world, but there can be significant cultural differences when it comes to the particulars. Examining the factors that may affect how monogamy is practiced can draw our attention to the diversity of human relationships and empower individuals to find a relationship style that works for them.

Cultural variations in the practice of monogamy

Monogamy can be broadly understood as the concept of not having concurrent romantic and/or sexual partners and instead committing to a single person over the long term. It could also refer to marrying only one person at a time. While the idea of monogamy may seem relatively straightforward, there’s actually considerable room for nuance.

Serial monogamy and marriage

Or consider some cultures in Asia and Africa in which arranged, monogamous marriages are common and are often expected to last a lifetime.

Social monogamy with sexual non-monogamy across cultures

Another example is that now and at various times throughout history, it’s not uncommon for a couple to be monogamous in social terms only. This could look like marrying, cohabiting, and co-parenting with only one other person, but being sexually non-monogamous—or having one or more sexual partners outside the marriage. The way sex outside of marriage is viewed can vary widely across cultures, with some seeing it as a normal part of a long-term union, others seeing it as infidelity, and still others choosing to allow it under certain rules and parameters.

Factors that may influence cultural variations in monogamy

Cultural variations in monogamy can arise over time for a number of different reasons. A few examples are listed below.

Economy

The economy can shape how a culture views monogamy. Studies of human origins reveal that some early societies practiced polygyny, in which one man had more than one wife. This was often because men controlled the resources, which enabled them to support more than one partner and many children. As societies evolved and new economic systems emerged, many cultures began to shift toward monogamy—particularly as agriculture developed and nomadism decreased.

How resource availability influences the practice of monogamy

The availability of resources is another economic factor that may influence the prevalence and practice of monogamy. In resource-limited environments, monogamous relationships may allow partners to share the essentials more equally for increased stability. In places rich in resources, polygynous relationships might be more common because people can afford to support multiple partners and children.

Social norms

Social norms, or the largely unwritten rules about how to behave in a given society, may also shape cultural variations in monogamy. Traditional gender roles are one example. For instance, in certain cultures in Africa, a man may be expected to marry multiple wives—especially if he's wealthy or has a high social status. Society's expectations and pressures can also shape how people manage their romantic relationships and how closely they may stick to or break away from monogamous practices.

Religious influences

Religion can also have a large influence on shaping cultural variations in monogamy. Many of the world's major religions, such as Christianity, Judaism, and Islam, teach that monogamous relationships are a social and moral ideal for those who adhere to these faiths, and they may each present specific parameters and rituals for these relationships. 

Exploring relationship styles with professional support

The right for a given individual to determine the relationship style that works best for them is slowly becoming more widely recognized. Today, some cultures are beginning to become more accepting of alternative relationship styles—including variations of monogamy and non-monogamy as well. The process of figuring out what relationship style might be best for you can take time and considerable self-reflection, which is why some people may choose to discuss the topic with a therapist.

Benefits of therapy for monogamous and non-monogamous people

The right therapist may be able to guide you in learning more about yourself and your needs, exploring your past patterns and your feelings about different types of relationships, and navigating all sorts of connections with others in a healthy and ethical manner.

Convenient therapy options: Online vs. in-person care

Meeting with a therapist in person is no longer the only option for receiving the support of a therapist. Virtual therapy platforms like BetterHelp are now available as a convenient alternative to traditional in-office care. You can simply sign up and fill out a brief questionnaire, and you’ll be matched with a licensed therapist accordingly. You can then meet with them via phone, video call, and/or in-app messaging from the comfort of home or anywhere you have a reliable internet connection. Research suggests that online and in-person therapy can offer similar benefits in most cases, so you can typically choose the format that best fits your needs.