What Is Morality And How Can You Develop Your Own Moral Values?

Morality refers to a set of behavioral standards that help people peacefully coexist. It can be thought of as what a given society determines to be "right" and acceptable. Which beliefs and practices are considered moral can vary from one culture, community, or religion to another, and individuals can also have their own nuanced moral codes. Identifying your own set of moral values and guiding principles can help you make decisions and set goals in your life. You can work toward this understanding through a variety of methods, which we’ll discuss after providing a brief overview of the general concept of morality.

What is morality?

Per the American Psychological Association, morality in general can be defined as “a system of beliefs or set of values relating to right conduct, against which behavior is judged to be acceptable or unacceptable.” Throughout history, philosophers, psychologists, religious figures, and other thinkers have posited theories to try and help us understand and evaluate human nature and ethics. Each one addresses different aspects of how we make moral decisions and what they should look like. 

The fact that so many different moral theories have been proposed throughout history hints at a key characteristic of this topic, which is that morality can be highly subjective and is often fiercely debated. For example, the tension between two foundational ideas—moral relativism and moral absolutism—tends to cause controversy. Moral relativism suggests that what's moral can change depending on culture, community, or religion. It rejects the notion that there’s one moral truth that fits every situation. In contrast, moral absolutism argues that certain basic moral principles exist regardless of cultural differences or other factors and suggests that everyone should follow these principles.

Exploring some well-known moral development theories

There are various theories that attempt to explain how moral development occurs in humans. Familiarizing yourself with some of the most well-known in the recent history of Western psychology can be a helpful first step on the road to understanding the concept of morality in general as well as your own sense of it. 

Keep in mind that the following are intended to be basic frameworks for how humans develop their individual senses of morality rather than judgments on what that morality should look like. Still, some of these have been criticized for being narrow or exclusionary. Remember that moral principles and ideas in general can vary widely from culture to culture, so exploring diverse sources and voices on your journey toward developing your own moral code may be the most useful approach.

What is morality? Freud's theory of morality

Sigmund Freud, an Austrian neurologist who is widely considered to have been the founder of modern psychoanalysis, believed that how we grow morally is closely tied to the development of our minds. He argued that moral behavior comes from the internal struggle between the id, the ego, and the superego. Theoretically, the id represents our basic instincts and desires, and the ego balances the id with the requirements and limitations of the outside world. Meanwhile, the superego is our moral conscience. As we grow up, he posited, we learn to manage and balance these forces and develop a sense of moral behavior.

B.F. Skinner's behavioral theory

The moral development theory proposed by B.F. Skinner, an American psychologist and philosopher, focuses on how outside factors may be involved in an individual’s moral growth. Skinner suggested that moral behaviors are learned through a process called operant conditioning, in which we’re rewarded for appropriate behavior and punished for immoral behavior. As we go through different situations and experience the results of our actions, we may learn to link certain actions with positive or negative outcomes and change our behavior as a result.

Piaget's theory of morals

Jean Piaget, a Swiss psychologist who is best known for his work in the field of child development, focused on the social-cognitive and social-emotional aspects of morality. His theory proposes that children go through a series of stages that help them form ideas about moral concepts such as justice and fairness. According to Piaget, children first see morality as a set of arbitrary rules created by authority figures. As they get older, they start to understand why these rules exist and develop the ability to make moral decisions based on their own thinking.

Kohlberg’s stages of moral development

Lawrence Kohlberg, an American psychologist, took Piaget's theory of moral judgment for children and developed it into a framework that suggests that moral development occurs in six stages. He believed that people go through the stages in a certain order and that the understanding of morals is connected to mental development.

The six stages in Kohlberg's theory are as follows:

• Stage 1: Obedience and punishment orientation. Individuals make moral judgments based on the fear of punishment and the importance of obeying authority.
• Stage 2: Individualism and exchange. Moral reasoning is guided by the idea of fairness and the desire to satisfy one's needs and the needs of others.
• Stage 3: Good interpersonal relationships. Moral considerations are based on the desire to maintain positive relationships with others and follow social norms.
• Stage 4: Maintaining social order. Upholding laws and rules to keep society working becomes the focus of moral judgment.
• Stage 5: Social contract and individual rights. People understand that laws can be changed for the greater good and see the importance of individual rights.
• Stage 6: Universal ethical principles. People make moral decisions based on ethical principles they choose for themselves, which they believe should apply to everyone.

Since Kohlberg first proposed his theory, it's been criticized for focusing too much on the limited Western, male perspective on moral reasoning. Still, the general idea of progressive stages of moral development may offer a basic foundation for understanding how people form their own senses of morality.

Ways to identify or develop your own sense of morality

A person’s own sense of morality is typically heavily influenced by the culture they are raised in. That said, it can be part of becoming an adult to think critically about the value systems that you were taught and decide what you want to preserve and what you want to change. If you’re interested in examining or developing your own set of moral values, you might consider some of the following strategies to help you get started.

Cultivate empathy to behave morally

Empathy, which is the ability to understand and feel what others are feeling, is often thought to be a key part of making moral decisions. By imagining how you’d feel in a given situation that someone else is in, you might be able to imagine how you’d like to be treated in that situation. These insights can help you understand the impact of your actions, which could guide your decision-making in the future. Other techniques that may help you cultivate empathy could include spending time around or otherwise learning about people who are different from you, staying open-minded to diverse viewpoints, and looking for common ground.

Reflect on personal experiences

One way to more specifically identify your personal set of moral values is to reflect on your own experiences. Journaling can be an especially helpful method for this. By looking at how your past actions and choices made you feel and how they affected others, you might become better able to understand your values and decide how you want to live your life going forward. You might also look at the ways in which others around you have acted and whether you agree with their behavior and its effects or not. Gathering information and analyzing your own impressions through this process may lead you closer to identifying the values by which you want to live your life.

Practice accountability and ethics

Accountability means taking responsibility for your actions. If you’ve reflected on your past behavior and decided that something you said or did doesn’t line up with the person you want to be or what you feel is right, taking action—such as by apologizing, making amends, and committing to different behavior in the future—could help strengthen your moral identity. It could also help you maintain healthy relationships with others in your life so that you can support each other on the lifelong journey of moral living.

Exploring your personal values or morals in therapy

Therapy can be another valuable resource in the process of exploring your values, managing challenging ethical situations, and engaging in overall personal growth. The job of a therapist isn’t to dictate what your moral code should or shouldn’t be, but rather to support you in your journey of better understanding yourself and who you want to be and equipping you with tools to make healthy, thoughtful decisions. For example, a therapist might engage in contemplative listening to help their client think through various angles of a moral decision, which can support the client in making positive and informed choices.

Benefits of online therapy

Still, having questions about morality can feel vulnerable. These thoughts and concerns are a common part of the human experience, but that might not make it any easier to talk about them with someone you don’t know. A virtual setting may put you more at ease when discussing such sensitive, personal topics, which is where online therapy can be especially useful. Platforms like BetterHelp allow you to connect with a licensed therapist from home or anywhere else you have an internet connection, which many people find to be more comfortable and convenient than traveling to traditional, in-person sessions. Research suggests that this format can be as effective as in-person counseling for addressing a variety of conditions and concerns.