What Is Unconditional Positive Regard And How Can It Benefit You?

Those who are looking to explore their mental health in therapy might have heard or seen the phrase “unconditional positive regard” at some point. Positive regard refers to holding something in high esteem. According to the APA, unconditional positive regard means, in its simplest form, acceptance of an individual no matter what they do. When applied to therapy, this approach can have numerous benefits for the individual receiving support. 

In this article, we’ll be going over several of the potential benefits of practicing and receiving unconditional positive regard, both in personal and therapeutic relationships. We’ll also explore some of the negative outcomes associated with conditional positive regard and how having a lack of support in one’s life can lead to poor mental health consequences. 

What is unconditional positive regard?

Unconditional positive regard, as a concept, was coined by psychologist Carl Rogers in 1957. While unconditional positive regard can be used outside of therapy as well, Rogers used the term to describe a style of client-centered therapy in which the client is respected as their own separate person. Using this approach, a client’s thoughts and desires are respected and given full support, despite what they reveal during sessions.

Put in simpler terms, unconditional positive regard could be considered an exercise in empathy. Rogers believed that showing and providing unconditional positive regard was crucial to an individual’s well-being.

Rogers was also clear about the negative outcomes that can arise for individuals who never experience unconditional positive regard. He warned about the dangers of “incongruence,” which is what an individual experiences when their ideal self is not aligned with how they perceive their actual self. A study conducted by Psychologica Belgica worked within the framework of Rogers’ theories and found that a lack of unconditional positive regard (known as conditional positive regard) can have negative lasting impacts on someone’s self-esteem and self-image.  

Unconditional vs. conditional positive regard

Wondering how to decipher whether you’ve experienced unconditional or conditional positive regard? It may help to think back on your childhood, exploring when and why your parents or guardians showed their love and care. 

Maybe your parents were especially critical when you were growing up and only gave you love and praise when you did something right. Maybe you had to display certain behaviors or meet specific expectations to get support. If this was your experience growing up, you may only be familiar with conditional positive regard. As an adult, you may struggle with feelings of self-doubt and have trouble shaking them. Or you might feel that your self-worth stems from external achievements like material possessions and career success, rather than accepting that your own feelings and self-worth are inherently valid. If left unchecked, such feelings can manifest as chronic low self-esteem, as well as an inability for one to reach self-actualization. 

If you grew up receiving love, support, and encouragement despite what you did or said, you likely experienced unconditional positive regard. Therefore, you might have an easier time forgiving your mistakes (and those of others), believing in your abilities, and feeling confident in yourself. 

How unconditional positive regard can benefit you

There are a host of potential benefits that can come from unconditional positive regard. For one, children of parents who showed them unconditional love tend to have higher self-esteem. This belief in themselves can help them achieve self-actualization more than individuals who did not receive this type of affection from their family growing up. 

Here are just a few of the ways unconditional positive regard can benefit you:

• Problematic traits such as jealousy, drug misuse, or procrastination are more likely to be addressed if approached with empathy and understanding.
• Receiving unconditional positive regard lets us know that while not all behaviors are okay, our thoughts and feelings are valid and worthy of respect.
• Unconditional positive regard can lessen an individual’s fear of failure and rejection, making them more likely to pursue their goals and dreams despite obstacles.
• Even in the workplace, unconditional positive regard can help motivate individuals. If someone knows they can make a mistake without being belittled or losing the respect of their peers, they are typically more likely to be more productive.
• Unconditional positive regard can allow you to accept who you are. While this does not mean you’re exempt from examining your behaviors, unconditional positive regard can make you a more authentic person. Those who feel free to act and live without fear of being bullied or attacked tend to be more likely to live according to their own desires and values.

Perhaps you’re someone reading this who might not have had a strong support system growing up. Perhaps your parents and family members were often critical of you, or maybe you were bullied in school for being different from your peers. In any of these cases, it can be useful to consult a professional so that you can address the past and move forward toward a brighter future.

Online therapy for unconditional positive regard

Growing up only having experienced conditional positive regard can have adverse effects that may last a lifetime. If you’re interested in connecting with a licensed professional who specializes in client-focused therapy centered around unconditional positive regard, consider signing up on a site like BetterHelp. BetterHelp is an online therapy platform that has thousands of therapists who specialize in a variety of areas. You can connect with a provider who understands unconditional positive regard and uses it during their sessions. In the hustle and bustle of today’s fast-paced world, being able to meet with your therapist through video chats, phone calls, or in-app messaging may make it a convenient and flexible resource for you.

The effectiveness of online therapy

Online therapists who use unconditional positive regard may help their clients alleviate lifelong concerns related to low self-esteem, poor self-image, and more.  

Research has demonstrated that online therapy delivers a quality of care equal to that of in-person therapy. In one study, online-based cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) interventions were found to be effective in improving self-esteem, self-compassion, and quality of life and decreasing symptoms of depression and anxiety. CBT is a type of therapy that helps people identify and change their unhelpful thoughts to promote healthier, more productive ways of thinking and feeling about themselves and others.