Common Challenges For Adoptive Parents And Ways To Foster Strong Family Dynamics
There are strategies that may help adoptive parents strengthen communication and build strong family dynamics. Here, we’ll discuss challenges commonly faced by adoptive families and children during the adoption process and strategies for fostering strong family dynamics.
The basics of the adoption process
The adoption process often begins with an educational component as a prospective parent(s) reads informational materials and talks to an adoption agency. This step can serve as an opportunity for potential new parents to ask questions about the process and decide if they want to adopt a child through the adoption agency in question.
The next stage typically involves a home study by a licensed adoption agency. Prospective adoptive parents can usually expect this process to last less than two months. Next, parents may fill out an adoption questionnaire that the agency uses to create an adoption roadmap. Then, the prospective adoptive parent(s) are usually asked to create a family profile that allows the birth parents to get to know them. Some adoption agencies hire a media company to help create adoptive parent profiles that look professional and help hopeful parents present themselves in the best way possible.
Possible challenges faced by adoptive parents prior to adoption
Adoptive parents can face a number of challenges on the road to adoption. First, prospective parents typically have to undergo a home study, which may feel uncomfortable for some. This process can involve questions that people are rarely asked about their home life. For example, those conducting the home study may ask about an individual’s or a couple’s financial stability, criminal record, and physical health, among other topics.
In some cases, prospective parents will receive a home study result of “approval with revisions.” Some may feel nervous about this result, but it often means that those conducting the study are requesting corrections or more information. In rare cases, an individual or couple may receive a denial letter. This may be for a variety of reasons, some of which may be temporary until the person or couple can improve their circumstances.
Common challenges faced by adoptive parents during and after adoption
After adoptive parents have been approved, they may undergo a series of visits from the child they are adopting, depending on the child’s age. These visits may include a few overnight stays so that they can gradually become acclimated to the home. This process may be challenging at first as a child gets used to a new environment.
Parents may also experience difficulty forming a bond with the child, depending on the child’s age and life circumstances. Those who have been uprooted from one place and sent to another may feel hesitant to open up to their adopted family, especially if they’ve experienced trauma in the past. Adoptive parents may experience a sense of rejection as a result in some cases.
Also, when adoptive parents have other children, they may experience conflict or jealousy when another child is brought into the home. They may need to become accustomed to having another child use their toys and receive attention from their parent(s). Balancing the needs of multiple children can be stressful for an adoptive parent.
Strategies that may help adoptive families foster a strong family dynamic
Adoptive parents may be able to build a strong family dynamic by using a number of strategies. The following are just a few examples:
- Do activities as a family. Parents may find that their family is more cohesive if they plan regular activities as a group. These don’t have to be big, elaborate activities that involve a lot of planning. Simply spending time together each evening or going to the park every weekend, for instance, may help family members develop a stronger bond with each other.
- Have meals together. Adoptive parents might have busy schedules, especially if they have multiple children. This can make mealtimes feel chaotic, but having dinner together can help the adoptive child get used to a routine. Plus, for children who come from homes where food was scarce, dining together regularly can bring the confidence that they will always have nutritious food at home.
- Prioritize mental health. Adoptive families may benefit from speaking openly about mental health. Caregivers might emphasize to each child in the home that they can always discuss anything that bothers them. If needed, families can also attend family therapy so that each member has the opportunity to discuss any concerns they have.
Where can an adoptive family get help welcoming a child into their home?
Adoptive families can often receive support from adoption professionals at the agency they went through. While social workers at these agencies often focus on helping the child adjust, they may have strategies to help parents with the transition process as well. Given that the social workers typically know the background of the adopted child and the family type they come from, they may be able to offer tailored guidance to help families welcome the child into their home. This may be especially helpful for cases involving children who have experienced trauma.
In addition to speaking with a social worker, adoptive families may benefit from connecting with other families who have adopted a child. Those who can’t find other families nearby might look for online groups or forums specifically for adoptive parents.
Seeking therapy for adoption-related challenges
The challenges outlined here are just a few examples of what an adoptive parent might face before, during, and after welcoming a child into their home. For those who are looking for emotional support along the way, meeting with a therapist might be helpful. A licensed mental health care provider can offer a safe space for a parent or prospective parent to share their feelings, address their anxieties, and learn healthy coping mechanisms for parenting stress.
Exploring online therapy as an option
Parents or parents-to-be who live in an area with few therapists or who can’t regularly commute to and from in-person sessions might consider online therapy instead. Online therapy platforms are typically connected with a large pool of licensed therapists, which may make it more likely for you to get matched with a provider experienced in adoption-related challenges. Once matched, you can communicate with your therapist remotely via phone, video, and/or in-app messaging. In addition, online therapy tends to be more affordable than traditional in-office therapy without insurance.
In recent years, numerous studies have suggested that online therapy can be effective in many cases. For example, one study published in 2021 indicates that online family therapy may be helpful for improving relationships and mental health outcomes for both parents and children.
Takeaway
What is open adoption and how does it affect adoptive parents?
An open adoption is one in which the adoptive and biological parents are in contact. This contact often continues even after a child is officially adopted. However, the exact parameters of open adoptions can vary widely. In some cases, they may involve contact via phone calls and occasional visits, whereas others may involve more frequent in-person visits. However, open adoption is not equivalent to co-parenting in which two parents have the same rights regarding decision making. The level of contact in an open adoption typically depends on what the birth parents and the adoptive parents have agreed to. The way it affects adoptive parents depends on their unique situation and preferences.
What are common challenges adoptive families experience with an adopted child?
Adoptive families may experience difficulty developing trust in some cases, especially when an adopted child has experienced past trauma. Also, adoptive parents may have to help their other children get used to having a new sibling.
What are adoption profiles during the adoption process?
Adoption agencies typically ask parents to create adoption family profiles to present themselves to biological parents. These adoption profiles often include pictures and a video of adoptive families so that biological parents can get to know them.
What’s the difference between foster families and adoptive families?
A foster family typically takes care of a child temporarily, after which they may reenter the foster care system or be reunited with family members. Adoptive families, on the other hand, typically take a child into their home as a permanent part of their family.
What can an adoptive family do to strengthen family dynamics?
Adoptive parents may be able to foster a strong, cohesive family by regularly communicating with the adoptive child and each family member. Regular, calm, and open communication gives each person the opportunity to discuss any concerns or challenges they’re facing. Adoptive parents might also schedule regular activities as a family, which may help the adoptive child bond with and open up to the rest of the family.
What are 3 typical worries of adoptive parents?
The concerns of adoptive parents may vary depending on the circumstances of the adoption. For example, the concerns of a mother or father may be different depending on whether they’re adopting a newborn or a teenager. However, the following are three common concerns of adoptive parents:
1) Parents may be afraid that the child being adopted will experience difficulty adapting.
2) Parents may be concerned that other kids in the home may feel excluded.
3) Parents may worry about how people in their community will accept their adopted child.
What benefits do adoptive parents get?
Adoptive parents may qualify for various forms of adoption assistance if they adopt a child with special needs. Families may receive an adoption subsidy to help them access therapy services, health care, tutoring, and special equipment. Parents who aren’t sure if they qualify for assistance might search for local organizations that serve adoptive families and ask about the criteria to receive assistance.
How are adoptive families different?
Adoptive families don’t necessarily have to be different from other families, aside from the fact that the baby or child adopted has a different biological mother and father. The adopted child can become an integral part of the family and form strong bonds with their siblings and their mom and dad (or two moms or dads). Parents who adopt have an opportunity to instill their values in a child and prepare them for a fulfilling future.
What are four emotional stressors an adopted child might experience
1) An adopted child might experience fear of their new environment. This may be especially true for adopted children who have experienced trauma.
2) An adopted child may experience stress related to siblings. They may fear that a biological son or daughter might resent them.
3) Adopted children and teens may experience fear of being rejected at school. They may fear talking about their adopted family if they imagine they’ll be rejected.
4) Adopted children may still feel rejection or depression related to their biological parents for some time after adoption.
How do you deal with an adopted child who rejects you?
No matter how prepared parents are, an adopted child sometimes rejects the parents at first. When an adopted child rejects you, you might pause for a moment to consider that the rejection might be related to past trauma or other factors. The child may also feel afraid in a different house and new environment. You might give the child some time to adjust to their new world. Parents may also benefit from speaking with other parents who have adopted a child. They may be able to answer questions and offer parenting advice regarding strategies to approach rejection.
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