Healing Your Inner Child: Tips And Techniques
Initially developed by Carl Jung nearly a century ago, inner child therapy involves nurturing the wounded or neglected younger version of yourself, typically focusing on what you experienced between birth and adolescence. This modality is based on the belief that many of our emotional and behavioral patterns in adulthood stem from unresolved childhood experiences, traumas, or unmet needs. By integrating the healed inner child with the present adult self, Jung theorized, individuals may be able to experience profound personal growth and transformation, potentially finding increased self-awareness, improved emotional control, healthier relationships, and greater joy and fulfillment in their lives.
Techniques and tips in healing your inner child
As an article in the American Journal of Psychotherapy reports, some therapists consider the inner child to be a “primary subconscious force”—the child the client once was and with whom they may have “lost touch on the way to adulthood.” Again, this type of emotional work is usually most effective when guided by a trained mental health professional, but the following techniques and tips could help you get started on your own.
Provide yourself with a safe space for better mental health
Just as a therapist creates a safe and supportive emotional environment in an office or online, try to foster a soothing space within your home where you can retreat and not be disturbed while doing this work. That way, you can feel more comfortable exploring your past experiences to better connect with the part of yourself that holds the emotions, memories, and beliefs formed during childhood.
For some, these recollections can be extremely painful and triggering, especially when addressing sexual or physical abuse. That’s why nurturing a physical environment conducive to making you feel safe, grounded, and supported can be so vital.
If you or a loved one is experiencing abuse, contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Support is available 24/7.
To self-soothe most effectively as you engage in this work, try to use all five senses. For example, you might add visuals like fresh flowers or art that helps you feel calm. A scented candle and relaxing music could also be good additions, as could wearing your most comfortable clothing and sipping a warm, soothing beverage.
Cultivate child work mindfulness and engage in self-reflection
Reflecting on childhood experiences and emotions can be challenging, particularly for those who experienced childhood trauma. As difficult as it may be to cultivate, self-awareness can be crucial in understanding the wounds and patterns carried over from one’s early years. Engaging in mindfulness can be a powerful way to gently provide space for self-reflection. To do this, try to focus on the breath and take in how you feel and what’s around you in the present moment without judgment. If you notice that your body feels particularly tense, you might try progressive relaxation to release some of the tension.
Keeping a journal is another way to engage in self-reflection on this journey. It can be a powerful method for examining your innermost thoughts, feelings, and memories, and it can also act as a source of perspective at all stages of your healing journey. Writing regularly—or at least whenever you engage in inner child work—may be beneficial.
Use visualization and imagery techniques to connect with your childhood
Guided visualization is a common tool a therapist may use to help a client relax and connect with their inner child. There are many guided visualizations for inner child healing that you can find online.
Note that while guided visualization is generally considered a safe practice, there are some for whom it may be harmful, such as those with a history of symptoms of psychosis. Always speak with a mental health professional before using visualization techniques on your own.
Here is a step-by-step guide for practicing visualization at home:
- Choose a time and place where you won’t be disturbed and sit or lie comfortably in the safe space you’ve created for yourself.
- Close your eyes and take a few deep, relaxing breaths.
- Next, you might visualize a peaceful setting in which to meet your inner child, such as a forest or a garden. Try to envision as many details as possible using all your senses—for example, the sounds of the birds and the feeling of a warm breeze on your skin.
- Visualize your inner child in that setting in as much detail as possible. Use this imagery to connect with the emotions and experiences you had during childhood.
- Then, visualize your adult self-offering comfort, love, and support to your inner child.
- Keep your breath as relaxed as possible and take your time, trying not to rush the experience. If it becomes too emotionally intense, feel free to take a break.
- When you’re ready, open your eyes and stretch gently to return to the present moment. Know that you may revisit this space whenever you wish.
Engage in inner dialogue work
Conversing with your inner child can allow you to address and begin to heal any wounds from the past. You may engage in an internal dialogue, write letters, or converse aloud with them. You can express your love, understanding, and compassion to the earlier version of yourself in the way that most deeply resonates with you. This is another point at which keeping a journal may offer benefits. You may choose to hold an ongoing conversation with your inner child there, or simply use it to reflect on your progress.
Allow emotional release from your wounded inner child
Regardless of your chosen method, it can be beneficial to allow yourself to fully feel and express your emotions when you connect with your inner child. Don’t be afraid to cry or even shout if it feels natural. Clinical studies suggest that suppressing emotions can be detrimental to your health, and doing so can also act as a blocker to progress on your mental health journey. Instead, the goal is to release the intense emotions you may have stored to create space for healing.
Reparent yourself
According to the American Psychological Association, self-reparenting is a “therapeutic technique in which individuals are urged to provide for themselves the kind of parenting attitudes or actions that their own parents did not provide.” This process can allow you to offer the wounded inner child the love, care, and nurturing they may have missed during childhood.
Part of self-reparenting may be engaging in activities that bring you joy and make you feel supported. For example, if you appreciate nature, you may hike or go camping regularly. Finally, caring for your physical well-being can be essential, too. Engaging in physical activity you enjoy, eating nutritious foods, and getting plenty of quality sleep are all examples.
Try healing your inner child through exercises
There are various therapeutic exercises designed specifically for healing childhood trauma. These include activities like drawing, coloring, playing, or engaging in other types of creative expression like dance or music. Some mental health professionals also use art therapy to help their clients reconnect with the inner child and heal past wounds.
Practice forgiveness with boundaries
One other component of inner child work that’s necessary in many cases is practicing forgiveness for yourself and others involved in your past. Forgiveness does not mean condoning or forgetting past events; instead, it’s about releasing the emotional burden associated with them. During this time, you might pay special attention to the setting of healthy boundaries in your present life and learn to recognize and remove yourself from situations that may reopen old wounds.
Seeking mental health support for inner child work and childhood trauma
It may be beneficial to reach out to trusted friends and loved ones for help and support on your journey. Spending time with people who care about you can cultivate self-confidence and provide you with perspective. You may also consider working with a therapist or counselor who specializes in inner child work. They can provide guidance, support, and additional techniques tailored to your specific needs.
Healing your wounded inner child through online therapy
With the recent rise in the popularity of online therapy, it’s arguably never been easier to begin treatment. Platforms like BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, experienced therapist who you can meet with from the comfort of home via phone call, video chat, and/or in-app messaging. Plus, online therapy is often more affordable than traditional, in-person therapy due to lower overhead costs.
Effective in treating anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions
A growing body of research suggests that online therapy can be as effective as in-person therapy for treating conditions like anxiety, depression, and traumatic disorders. For example, one study suggests that online and in-person therapy can be equally impactful when it comes to treating symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in particular.
Takeaway
Does anxiety come from the inner child?
Not all episodes of anxiety stem from wounds sustained as a child. That said, a wounded inner child can lead to someone experiencing bouts of anxiety throughout life. A person with a wounded inner child might revert to behaviors or emotional states from their child self, which can include anxiety.
How does healing the inner child work?
Healing childhood wounds typically involves going to therapy. The therapist offers emotional support and will take a client through a number of exercises that help them examine key events from childhood, gain insight into how they were wounded, paying attention to emotions and thought processes, challenge unhelpful thoughts, reparent their younger self, and develop self love and self compassion.
Overall, therapy can teach you a healthier way of coping with traumatic experiences. It can help you develop a greater sense of calm and self-esteem by helping you with accepting things from your past, such as negative experiences, and learning ways to cope. Busy schedules can make going to therapy difficult, but online therapy through platforms such as BetterHelp can make attending therapy easy. People report many positive experiences with online therapy.
How do I know if my inner child needs healing?
If you have low self-esteem or difficulties with relationships, one possible cause could be that you have a wounded inner child. Other indicators that you have a wounded inner child are inability to create boundaries, ignoring your own needs, fear of conflict, frequently having negative beliefs and negative thoughts, and an emotional response to an event that’s disproportionate to what actually is happening.
What are the 5 inner child wounds?
The five inner child wounds are rejection, betrayal, abandonment, humiliation, and injustice. These are typically inflicted on children by older persons, often a family member or primary caregivers, in the child’s life. The child reflected in the behaviors and attitudes of these adults serves to build the child’s sense of self and their sense of how the world works.
How do the 5 inner child wounds affect you?
For someone with any of the five inner child wounds, they often learn to adapt to the emotional circumstances of their childhood. This means that as they grow into adults, they have unhealthy patterns of behavior that can affect work and relationships, as well as one’s sense of self-worth. However, it is possible to address these wounds and heal them with therapy.
Outside of therapy, if your inner child wounds are triggered, such as when you feel rejected, you can use healthy coping mechanisms to deal with the emotional pain. Practicing self care—through exercise, sleep, diet, social connections, and mindfulness—can be key to your overall well being. These eight tips can help you with healing your inner child.
How do I know if my inner child is damaged?
If you experience any of the following maladaptive behaviors, it may be because your inner child is damaged: difficulty with setting boundaries, extreme avoidance of conflict, people pleasing, inability to trust, and low self-esteem. You can start the healing process by attending therapy.
What are the five soul traumas?
The five soul traumas are the same as the five inner child wounds: rejection, abandonment, betrayal, humiliation, and injustice. These experiences, such as when a person felt abandoned as a child, can have repercussions in adult life up to the present day. However, with therapy, you can start healing from these painful childhood experiences.
What are the 4 main things childhood trauma deeply affects?
The four main things that childhood trauma affects are 1) ability to form healthy relationships, 2) cognitive functioning, 3) mental health, and 4) sense of self-worth.
What are the 4 D's of trauma?
Dissociation from traumatic experiences is categorized into the four D’s (dimensions) of time, thought, body, and emotion.
What are the 5 senses of trauma?
Trauma can be experienced through all the senses. Grounding exercises that employ the senses can be helpful when a memory of a traumatic event is triggered and difficult emotions based on the childhood memories arise. The five senses that are used in grounding exercises are sight, touch, hearing, smell, and taste.
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