Tending To Mental Health As An Overwhelmed Single Mom
Raising children can be challenging at times, even in two-parent households. For single moms, the potential hurdles of parenting may feel even more challenging, whether due to a lack of support, increased demands on one’s time and energy, or the stress of managing a household alone. No matter the circumstances, being a single mother can be overwhelming, potentially leading to additional stress and impacting your mental and physical health. Strategies to manage overwhelm, including journaling and creating a support system, will be discussed below. You may also wish to reach out for support from a licensed mental health professional in person or online.
What does it mean to feel overwhelmed?
It can be natural to experience stressful periods from time to time. However, feeling occasional stress is usually different from feeling overwhelmed, a state in which you may believe you’re unable to keep up with all your time and energy demands.
When you feel overwhelmed, it might seem as if you are stretched too thin, juggling too many responsibilities, or experiencing too many intense emotions to handle. In addition, you might experience symptoms including:
- Sleep disorders
- Difficulty concentrating
- Fatigue
- Irritability or restlessness
- Anxiety or panic
- Feelings of hopelessness or helplessness
- Physical symptoms, such as nausea, headaches, or muscle aches
Risks of being an overwhelmed single mom
Being overwhelmed is typically linked to stress, particularly when a person is simultaneously experiencing multiple forms of stress. While occasional stress can be considered a normal experience, constant or chronic stress may be linked to certain side effects, such as high blood pressure and other metabolic symptoms.
While feeling overwhelmed as a single mother may not be considered a mental health condition, research suggests that single-parenting stress may be correlated with an increased risk of mental illness. For example, a 2019 study found that single mothers were generally twice as likely as partnered mothers to report general stress and symptoms of depression or anxiety.
Causes of overwhelm in single mothers
- Managing finances in a single-income household
- Managing household responsibilities, such as cleaning and cooking
- Paying child support
- Navigating visitations and custody matters
- Helping children with homework, transportation, and other school-related tasks
- A lack of free time or alone time
Mental health conditions that cause feelings of overwhelm
These and other factors may all contribute to feelings of overwhelm in single mothers. Additionally, feeling overwhelmed may also be caused by, or exacerbated by, certain mental health conditions like:
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)
- Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
If you are experiencing trauma, support is available. Please see our Get Help Now page for more resources.
- Borderline personality disorder
- Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder
Supporting your mental health as an overwhelmed single mom
As an overwhelmed single parent, you may find yourself unsure how to alleviate feelings of stress or manage challenging situations, particularly without the support of a partner. However, there are several tips and strategies that single parents may find helpful for supporting their mental, physical, and emotional well-being.
Creating a support system
Having a network of people who can offset some of the stress of childrearing may be helpful for single mothers feeling overwhelmed. For example, you might enlist a family member, neighbor, or friend to babysit or pick up groceries. You might also consider arranging a carpool to school for your child with other kids in the neighborhood.
Connecting with other single parents
In some cases, connecting with others in similar situations may be just what is needed to alleviate feelings of overwhelm among single mothers. You might consider reaching out to others in your neighborhood, finding an online community, or attending a support group where other parents can discuss their experiences in a safe space.
Making time for yourself
While it may be challenging to find time for oneself as a single parent, setting aside time to take a break may help you manage symptoms of overwhelm. You may want to consider looking for short periods of your day when you can take a deep breath or reach out to a trusted friend or family member to help with the kids so you can rest.
Journaling
Writing about your experiences may be useful for sorting through your thoughts and processing your emotions, particularly during stressful periods. Taking a few minutes in the morning or evening to do a “brain dump” may help you navigate overwhelming experiences as a single mother.
Practicing self-care
While self-care may sometimes be easy to overlook as a single mom, it can be helpful for your mental health and well-being. This could range from making time to get fresh air to practicing good hygiene, doing enjoyable exercises, or practicing mindfulness or meditation.
Attending therapy
Some single moms who feel overwhelmed might need extra support beyond what they can receive from family members or friends. In this case, therapy may be a helpful resource. Speaking to a licensed therapist may be a useful way to express your emotions about single parenting, identify strategies for managing stress, or discuss challenges in a non-judgmental environment.
Benefits of online therapy
Traditional therapy may not always be feasible, particularly for single moms who may be swamped with responsibilities and unable to commute to a therapist’s office in person. Online therapy may be a helpful alternative in this case, offering the ability to speak to a licensed therapist from wherever is most convenient, whether through voice call, video call, or instant messaging. It can also be cheaper, as you may not have to worry about the cost of commuting to an in-person therapist’s office.
Effectiveness of online therapy
Online therapy has been studied as a useful and cost-effective treatment for various mental health conditions. For example, a 2017 study found that online cognitive behavioral therapy could effectively treat various conditions associated with feeling overwhelmed, such as depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, PTSD, and more.
Takeaway
What are the symptoms of an overwhelmed single mom?
Overwhelmed single moms are often at a higher risk of experiencing things like:
- Financial strain
- Overwhelming emotions, such as crying unexpectantly or having a strong negative reaction to small problems
- Inability to deal with daily stress
Single parent stress can be significant.
How to cope with life as a single mother?
Here are some tips for taking care of yourself as a parent when you don’t have a partner's support:
- Talking frequently with loved ones, such as friends and family
- Acknowledging you can’t do all the things and letting go of some stuff, like keeping the house perfectly clean or making homemade food for every meal
- Putting aside a little time for yourself each week
- Reminding yourself that you can ask for help without being a burden
If you’re struggling as a single parent, consider reaching out to your community for support. If you need additional help, you may want to join a support group or schedule a session with a therapist.
What is the hardest thing about being a single mom?
Many single mothers describe feeling like a one-man army with the weight of the world on their shoulders. Without a partner to share responsibilities, things like childcare, work, and housework can become overwhelming. In some cases, it may lead to challenges like inadequate sleep, lack of personal time, burnout, decision fatigue, and financial instability.
How to be happy alone as a single mom?
Some tips to find happiness as a single mom include:
- Lean on your support system
- Prioritize self-care
- Budget carefully
- Accept that there will be challenges
- Develop healthier coping strategies
- Include children in age-appropriate chores
- Set realistic goals and expectations
- Find a support group for single parents where your concerns will be heard and understand
By prioritizing mental health and letting go of the small things, many single moms find happiness and balance in their lives.
How stressful is it to be a single mom?
Being a single mother can be very stressful because of factors like:
- Burden of managing caregiving, working, and household responsibilities
- Lack of emotional support from a partner
- Financial strain
- Decision fatigue
- Stigma
- Burnout
- Challenges with custody
- Loneliness
Single parents can protect their well-being by carving out time for self-care, building strong social networks, talking to a therapist, setting realistic expectations, challenging negative self-talk, and setting healthy boundaries.
What is the depleted mother syndrome?
Depleted mother syndrome, or burnout, refers to a sense of mental and physical exhaustion brought on by the demands of parenting. It can lead to an increased risk of maladaptive coping strategies, anxiety, social isolation, and depression.
What do single mothers need most?
Oftentimes, single mothers benefit most from a strong support system. Friends, family, and other loved ones can help with things like running errands, preparing meals, babysitting, and emotional support. Additionally, they can help single parents make space for themselves beyond their role as a parent.
What is the trauma of being a single mom?
For some, being a single mom can be a traumatic experience leading to symptoms of chronic stress and post-traumatic stress disorder.
How to survive financially as a single mom?
Here are some financial tips for single moms:
- Create a budget
- Identify wasteful expenses
- Build an emergency fund
- Make a plan to pay off debts, starting with high-interest debt
- Consider if you may be eligible for financial assistance
Finances can be challenging for a single parent who doesn’t have the benefit of a dual-income household. Scheduling an appointment with a financial counselor may be a good first step if you’re experiencing financial strain or you have limited financial education.
What makes a single mom happy?
Some things that can improve the happiness of single moms include:
- Prioritizing self-care
- Cultivating strong social connections
- Setting new goals
- Building a more positive outlook
- Pursuing things that provide personal fulfillment
- Communicating openly
- Practicing positive self-talk
- Creating a budget
- Giving children age-appropriate chores
- Celebrating small wins along the way
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