The Effects Of Parents With Alcohol Dependency On Children
Parents with alcohol use disorder or dependency can experience various distressing mental and physical symptoms that may also impact their children. The effects of growing up around alcohol and drug use are sometimes so profound that they last a lifetime, affecting the way children see themselves and others and how they interact in relationships into adulthood.
Alcoholism is a pattern of alcohol substance use where a person has difficulty controlling their drinking. Alcohol use disorder is a mental health condition where the person is often preoccupied with alcohol. They may continue to use alcohol even though it causes problems, whether with family, their physical health, their personal or professional relationships, or with holding down a job. Excessive alcohol use can also indicate an additional underlying substance use problem or mental health condition.
How alcohol use disorder affects families and mental health
Families where harmful alcohol use is present have been shown to experience problems, such as:
- Lack of communication
- Little to no structure in the home
- Increased conflict
- Subpar parenting
- Isolation from the community
- Financial issues
- Trust Issues
Having your trust broken once or twice can often be mended with relative ease and time. However, if your trust is broken daily, it takes much more to heal the wound. Some people living with alcohol use disorder might hide their addiction with denial, secrets, or lies. As a result, children who have grown up in such an environment may have trust issues.
How the effects of parents with alcohol dependency impact children’s adulthood
Children who grew up with parents with an alcohol dependency or addiction may carry trust issues with them into adulthood, which can affect their personal and professional relationships. Below are some of the potential impacts to consider.
Normalization and acceptance
Alcohol is an addictive substance. However, it often doesn't carry the same stigma or social repulsion that other substances like cocaine or meth carry. Alcohol is widely accepted in society despite the prevalence of alcohol use disorder and dependency. Drinks are often widely served at social gatherings. Some children witness their mom or dad drinking every day, sometimes several times a day. As a result, they may grow up with a skewed image of what "normal" is.
In some cases, parents who struggle with alcohol use may also be physically, mentally, or emotionally abusive, and children may grow up not knowing what a harmonious and safe household looks like. However, having a substance use disorder doesn’t necessarily mean someone is abusive. Children facing their parent’s dependency may have a contorted view of substance use and may have the sense they’ve been lied to and betrayed when they realize that drinking is not considered normal in other families.
Impulsiveness and the development of alcohol addiction
Children of parents with alcohol use disorder may impulsively make a choice or respond to a situation without thinking through the consequences or considering other options. For this reason, they may spend time trying to fix family problems or cover up the consequences.
Children who are raised by a parent with alcohol use disorder are also at a higher risk of developing an alcohol addiction themselves. Studies show there is a 50% chance that they will develop alcohol use disorder later on in their own life. Among those misusing alcohol, people who are genetically predisposed to alcoholism have a higher risk of developing alcohol use disorder.
Although people can inherit certain traits, the development of alcohol use disorder is also dependent on social and environmental factors. If you have more than one relative with an alcohol addiction or other substance use disorder, you may have inherited the genes that put you at risk. The more blood-related family a person has with an alcohol problem, the higher the risk there of alcohol use disorder.
Perceived helplessness
Children of parents with alcohol use disorder may struggle to understand the role that their choices play in the evolution of their lives and relationships. Some may learn to cope by reflecting their insecurities or worries onto others. They may also struggle to work through mistakes as adults if they observed their parents responding to their mistakes by drinking when they were younger.
Effects of parents with alcohol dependency on children’s ability to form relationships
From early on, children of parents with alcohol use disorder may have been exposed to a slanted view of what a healthy relationship looks like, whether as a family unit or in the relationship between their parents. These children may have a higher chance to bring that picture of what a "normal" relationship looks like into their own adult relationships. Children exposed to alcohol use in the family may have difficulty forming intimate relationships. Trust issues and a lack of self-esteem can make allowing someone to get close enough to have a trusting, close relationship difficult for them.
Adult children of parents with alcohol use disorder may consciously or subconsciously lose themselves in their relationships with others, sometimes finding themselves attracted to people with substance use disorders or compulsive personalities, such as workaholics, who are emotionally unavailable. Adult children may also form enabling and codependent relationships with others who they perceive as needing “rescue” or “help,” to the extent of neglecting their own needs. This response may be a way to place their focus on the overwhelming needs of someone else to not have to examine their own difficulties and struggles.
Below are some of the effects that parents with alcohol use disorder can have on their children’s ability to form relationships.
Approval seeking
Children of parents with alcohol use disorder may have “people-pleasing” tendencies and may be sensitive to rejection and criticism from others. Perhaps to avoid criticism or the anger of their parents, children from homes where substance use is common may become super responsible or perfectionists, and can become overachievers or “workaholics.” Others may repeat the same behaviors they witnessed during childhood.
Self-judgment and low self-esteem
Some adult children of parents with alcohol use disorder may find giving themselves a break difficult. If they had a tumultuous upbringing, they may believe they are adequate when comparing themselves to others or that they are “never good enough.” They may have little self-worth and low self-esteem. Children of a parent with a substance use disorder may believe they are different from other people and therefore are “not good enough.” Consequently, they may avoid social situations, have difficulty making friends, and isolate themselves.
Fear of abandonment
Some children who experienced broken promises and a lack of trust in childhood may develop a fear of abandonment, where they fear that partners or friends may abandon them at any time. They may have been emotionally abandoned as a child. With an abandonment issue, the difference between being emotionally versus physically abandoned can be hazy, as the fear of being abandoned takes precedence over the nuances.
Fear of authority figures
A person may fear authority figures if their parents frequently caused them fear in what was supposed to be a safe and loving environment. In addition, if the police, judges, child safety personnel, and others were involved in their home life as a child, authority may seem unsafe. These fears can lead to difficulty in professional relationships as an adult.
Getting help for alcohol use
Whether you have questions about alcoholism, the effects of parents with alcohol dependency on children, struggling with alcohol use yourself, or mental health or substance use in general, talking to a therapist may be helpful. However, finding a support option that fits your schedule can be difficult. In these cases, an online therapy platform like BetterHelp may be more accessible.
Through an online platform, clients can meet with a therapist via phone, video, or live chat sessions and send messages to their provider throughout the week. In addition, they may be able to access unique resources like support groups and worksheets. Studies also back up the effectiveness of online therapy for those struggling with substance use disorders, finding that internet interventions were as effective as face-to-face options.
One form of therapy that studies have found productive for some children of parents with alcohol use disorder is called forgiveness therapy. Coined by Dr. Robert D. Enright in his book, Forgiveness Therapy (previously called Helping Clients Forgive), forgiveness therapy can help clients explore their feelings, rebuild their sense of safety, and release negative emotions based on their past. Studies have found that forgiving those who have hurt you can reduce depression, stress, anger, and hostility, and increase positive emotions. In turn, releasing those negative emotions can also reduce some physical health risks, such as heart disease. A professional counselor can help you determine if forgiveness therapy is the right option for you. Forgiveness is a personal choice.
Takeaway
Growing up as the child of a parent alcohol use disorder may have long-lasting effects. If you’ve gone through this situation, you’re not alone, and help is available. Professional therapy, whether in-person, online, or in a group setting, may help you learn to recognize, manage, and overcome any negative effects caused by your family setting. Consider reaching out to a therapist to get started.
How does a mother with alcohol use disorder affect a child?
A mother with alcohol use disorder can significantly affect a child's life in various ways, posing substantial risks to the child's physical, emotional, and social well-being. Some of the key impacts may include the following.
Fetal alcohol spectrum disorders (FASDs) in children of parents with alcohol use disorder
Drinking alcohol during pregnancy can lead to FASD, a group of conditions that involve physical and mental birth defects. These disorders can result in a range of physical, cognitive, and behavioral problems, including developmental delays, learning disabilities, and emotional difficulties.
Emotional and behavioral issues linked to alcohol use
Children of mothers with alcohol dependence may experience emotional turmoil, anxiety, depression, and behavioral problems. Growing up in an unstable or unpredictable environment can contribute to these challenges.
Risk of substance use
Children in such households may have a higher risk of developing substance use issues themselves, as they may perceive alcohol as a way to cope with their emotions or environment.
Neglect and unsafe environments caused by alcohol use disorder
A mother with alcohol use disorder may struggle to provide a safe and nurturing environment for her child due to her addiction, potentially exposing the child to neglect, abuse, or unsafe conditions.
Interpersonal relationships and the impact on mental health
The child may face difficulties in forming healthy relationships, as they may lack appropriate role models for social and emotional development. To mitigate adverse childhood experiences, it's important to provide support and intervention for both the mother and the child. Children with exposure to alcohol and substance use from a young age may have a higher risk of developing emotional or behavioral issues, but they can benefit from counseling and therapy to help them cope with such experiences.
What happens to the family of an individual with alcohol dependency?
Families affected by substance use disorders (SUDs) like alcoholism often experience significant challenges and disruptions in their lives due to the complexities of addiction. Alcohol use disorder can profoundly impact the family environment, giving rise to a range of issues, including:
- Family dynamics: Alcohol use alter family dynamics, leading to strained relationships, mistrust, and communication breakdowns. Family members may experience feelings of anger, guilt, and frustration.
- Emotional and behavioral patterns: Substance use disorders, such as alcohol use disorder, negatively affect emotional and behavioral patterns within the family. Children and adults in these households may develop unhealthy coping mechanisms and struggle with emotional control.
- Financial and social consequences: Alcohol use can lead to financial strain and social isolation, as family members may attempt to cover up or enable the addicted individual's behavior.
- Poor outcomes for children: Children growing up in households with alcohol misuse are at a higher risk of experiencing neglect, abuse, and long-term emotional trauma. These adverse childhood experiences can lead to difficulties in their own lives, including an increased risk of developing SUDs themselves.
- Interference with family rituals: Alcohol misuse often interferes with family rituals and traditions, as gatherings may become tense or disrupted by the consequences of addiction.
While the challenges and impacts of alcohol misuse on families can be significant, individual outcomes can vary. Depending on the family dynamic, certain individuals may be more resilient or better able to cope. Families may benefit from seeking support and assistance to manage addiction-related challenges.
What are three ways family members and children of parents with alcohol use disorder can cope?
Alcohol use disorder can have a range of negative physical, emotional, and social effects on family members. Below are three ways alcohol misuse can affect family members:
Emotional distress: Alcohol use disorder can lead to increased stress, depression, anger, and anxiety in family members, as they may experience feelings of guilt or frustration in relation to the individual's addiction.
Poor self-esteem: Family members may experience low self-esteem due to their inability to help the addicted individual or be exposed to criticism and judgment.
Dysfunctional behavior: The family environment may become unpredictable, leading to poor communication, a lack of support, and dysfunctional behavior patterns among family members.
While people with alcohol use disorder may be isolated from their families due to shame and denial, some parents with the condition may learn to manage symptoms and find ways to stay connected with their families. Mental health services can provide support and guidance to help families cope with the challenges of addiction.
What are the risk factors for children of parents with alcohol use disorder?
Many factors can contribute to the onset of alcohol use disorder in parents and its effects on children, including:
- Trauma: Prior experience of trauma or adversity may increase the risk of developing an alcohol use disorder.
- Social and cultural factors: The availability of alcohol and social norms around drinking can influence the likelihood of developing an addiction.
- Mental health problems: People with mental health challenges may be more vulnerable to developing an alcohol use disorder.
- Family history: A family history of addiction can increase the risk for children, as they may be exposed to genetic or environmental factors that influence substance use.
- Financial instability: Poverty and financial strain can increase alcohol use, as people may turn to alcohol as a form of escapism.
While there is no one-size-fits-all solution for coping with alcohol misuse, understanding the risk factors can help families develop strategies to mitigate its effects. Educating children about addiction and providing healthy outlets for coping with stress can be beneficial in safeguarding them from developing an alcohol use disorder themselves. Additionally, connecting parents with treatment services can aid in recovery and provide support for the whole family.
What is the syndrome that occurs when a gestational parent drinks alcohol during pregnancy?
Fetal alcohol spectrum disorder is a range of physical, behavioral, and cognitive challenges that can occur in a child when their mother drinks alcohol during pregnancy. This condition is caused by the effects of prenatal exposure to alcohol on the developing fetus. FASD can lead to physical birth defects such as facial dysmorphology and heart problems, as well as a range of cognitive and behavioral problems, such as learning disorders, attention deficits, and difficulty with social interactions.
FASD is one of the leading preventable causes of birth defects in babies born to mothers who drink alcohol during pregnancy. As many as one in 1,000 babies in the US are estimated to have FASD, and many more may remain undiagnosed due to a lack of awareness about the disorder.
It is important for pregnant women to be aware of the risks of drinking alcohol during pregnancy and seek support or treatment if necessary. Educating parents on the effects of alcohol on fetal development can help prevent FASD and other health problems in children who are born to mothers who drink alcohol during pregnancy.
What happens to daughters of parents with alcohol use disorder?
Daughters of parents with alcohol use disorder can be at risk for developing behavioral, emotional, and mental health challenges. They may experience a range of effects in their own lives due to growing up in an environment characterized by substance misuse.
Daughters of parents with alcohol dependency may find coping with stress or managing their emotions difficult, leading to unhealthy coping mechanisms such as drug or alcohol use. They may also develop approval-seeking behaviors or a desire for control, as well as guilt, shame, and poor self-esteem.
Additionally, some daughters may find forming and maintaining healthy relationships difficult due to difficulties with trust. An adult child may develop an exaggerated sense of responsibility in relation to the care of other family members and be compelled to fix problems they cannot control.
What are six effects of alcohol use disorder?
Alcohol use disorder, a chronic and often progressive condition, can have profound effects on both physical and mental well-being. Six significant effects include:
- Physical health: Chronic alcohol misuse can lead to a range of physical health issues, such as liver damage (cirrhosis), heart disease, high blood pressure, pancreatitis, and a weakened immune system.
- Mental health: Alcohol use disorder is closely linked to other mental health conditions, including depression, anxiety disorders, and an increased risk of suicide. Alcohol can also impair cognitive function, leading to memory problems and impaired decision-making.
- Relationship problems: Alcohol use disorder can strain relationships with family, friends, and colleagues due to erratic behavior, neglect, and emotional volatility.
- Financial consequences: The cost of alcohol addiction, including purchasing alcohol and addressing its consequences (e.g., legal issues and medical bills), can lead to severe financial strain.
- Legal issues: Alcohol-related offenses, such as DUIs, can result in legal problems, including fines, probation, and even incarceration.
- Social isolation: Alcohol use disorder can lead to social isolation as individuals may withdraw from social activities and relationships.
How do you cope with a family member with alcohol use disorder?
Coping with a family member who is struggling with alcohol use disorder can be difficult and emotionally draining. Try to approach the situation with compassion and understanding rather than judgment or blame. Below are tips for managing a family member's drinking:
- Seeking help and support: Connecting your loved one with treatment services or support groups can be beneficial in managing their drinking.
- Having honest conversations: Talking to the person about how their drinking is affecting you can help them become aware of its effects on their life and relationships.
- Setting boundaries: Establishing clear boundaries around acceptable behaviors can help the person understand what is and isn't acceptable.
- Educating yourself: Learning about the effects of alcohol addiction and its treatment may help you better understand your loved one's struggles and how to support them.
- Self-care: Taking care of your own mental health is essential when managing a family member's drinking problem. You can find healthy outlets for stress relief, such as exercise or meditation, and seek professional help if needed.
If you or someone you know is living with alcoholism, seeking help is crucial. Family therapy can provide a safe space to discuss issues and build healthier family dynamics. Resources are available through national associations and organizations, such as the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) and (AA).
The National Association for Alcoholism and Drug Abuse Counselors (NAADAC) provides resources, information, and referrals to counseling services and support programs. Many states also have free or low-cost alcohol and drug use helplines that can provide advice and assistance for individuals challenged by substance misuse.
What happens to people with alcohol dependency?
Addiction is a chronic and progressive disease. People who have an alcohol dependency may also develop a tolerance to the effects of alcohol, leading to increased use of the substance and an inability to stop drinking even when it is causing them harm.
As alcohol addiction progresses, individuals can become dependent on alcohol and experience withdrawal symptoms if they try to quit or reduce their consumption. They may also experience physical and mental health issues, such as depression, anxiety, and memory problems.
In its advanced stages, alcohol addiction can severely impair one's functioning in everyday life. Addiction can lead to job loss, financial strain, legal problems, social isolation, and even death due to alcohol-related causes or other health complications.
How does alcohol affect the brain?
Alcohol has a direct effect on the brain, affecting its chemistry and structure. When consumed in excess, alcohol can impair executive function, judgment, memory, and motor skills. It can also lead to long-term cognitive decline and an increased risk of developing neurological diseases such as dementia.
Heavy alcohol consumption is linked to changes in areas of the brain related to learning, memory, decision-making, and stress response. Alcohol affects the neurotransmitters glutamate, GABA (gamma-aminobutyric acid), serotonin, and dopamine, which are responsible for controlling mood and behavior. Alcohol use also reduces neuronal activity in the brain's prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for executive function and decision-making.
Long-term alcohol misuse can lead to a range of cognitive impairments, including difficulty processing information, impaired memory and learning capacity, and impaired judgment. Alcohol use may also lead to addiction, personality changes, depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues.
While the effects of alcohol on the brain are reversible in some cases with abstinence or moderation in drinking habits, it is important to note that the effects of long-term alcohol abuse can be permanent. Therefore, it is important to understand the risks associated with alcohol use and take steps to reduce its harmful effects.
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