Tips And Tricks For Raising Children As A Single Mother

You’ve likely heard it said over and over, but raising a child is never easy. Walking alongside your child through late-night temper tantrums, the “terrible twos,” and those moody teen years is a task for which not all parents feel adequately prepared. Responding with patience and composure can be even more daunting if you are single parenting.

However, parenting can also be highly rewarding, and many love the privilege of watching their children grow up right in front of them. Parents often go beyond the call of duty, and this is especially true of those single parents out there. With only one pair of hands working around the house day in and day out, they may often feel the need to work harder to give their kids the life they deserve. An online therapist can be a resourceful person on a single parent’s support team, while the tips and tricks that follow can potentially make raising children as a single parent more fulfilling and efficient.

Conscious choices in parenting styles for single parents

Many parents feel unprepared at the start of their parenthood journey. It can help to research some different parenting styles, like positive discipline, and investigate which ones would be the best option for your family. Depending on your own personality and those of your children, some methods may work better than others. You can always switch it up, too, if one style isn’t producing the results you’d like. One thing to keep in mind is that research shows that authoritarian parenting and uninvolved/passive parenting tend to have harmful effects on children, so you should aim to choose a parenting style associated with positive developmental effects.

As you become more familiar with the ins and outs of being a single parent, you’ll likely pick up some of your own tricks to save yourself time and make life easier. Remember that no parent is perfect and that there's no need to put that type of pressure on yourself. Don’t forget to have fun with your kids and celebrate those small victories you can find throughout the day. Although there may be times when you feel burned out or stressed, the challenging times are worth all the good that comes from raising a child.

How to be a successful single parent

Many single parents think that parenting a child will be harder without the support of a partner or spouse, but that doesn’t have to be the case. Although there may be more unique challenges you’ll face, they’re not insurmountable. There is no one right way to learn how to be a single parent, which is why it is important to be guided by a professional if you're someone preparing for parenthood. 

As far as success goes, it’s relative; not everyone has the same vision for their children. Every family will function differently, and every home can be a safe, caring environment for raising children. However, it’s good to be prepared and stay one step ahead if you can. Here are some tips and tricks for raising your child as a single parent.

Develop a routine when raising children as a single mother

Children tend to do well when they follow a normal routine, and establishing one can make your life as a single parent easier, too. You can save a lot of time for the important stuff by planning ahead. For example, set out your child’s outfit or pack their lunch the night before for school. Make sure homework isn’t saved for the last minute but finished before they go to bed or at a set time every day. Plan to spend quality time with them before bedtime and allow yourself some extra time just for you in the mornings before they wake up. 

You can let your child be part of the process of creating a routine. Letting them help can encourage independence and capability.

Find childcare as a single parent

The reality as a single parent is that you will likely need someone else to watch your child some of the time. Even parents with a remote job find that they’re sometimes too distracted with a young child at home the entire day. You might look around at your options before deciding, and always go to meet potential childcare providers in person first to ask questions before establishing an agreement. Great childcare is all about having someone you can trust and with whom your child feels comfortable and safe. 

Your child may find going to childcare fun, too! It is okay and can actually be quite healthy to have someone else watch your child.

Build a support system for single parents

Unlike coupled parents, single parents don’t have a partner to lean on when they need it. However, there are plenty of other people in your life who can make a great support team, including friends, other single parents, parents from your child’s school, your faith community, neighbors, family, babysitters, and more. 

These are the people who will be heavily involved in your child’s life and will be able to help you out when you need a break or someone to watch your child for some time. Single parents can strive to build strong relationships with others so that they know they’re not alone.

Let the kids help

Since there’s only one set of hands doing all the “grown-up” work around the house, allow kids to help out with tasks they can (and should learn how to) manage. If your child doesn’t start to do tasks on their own, you can start assigning your kids chores as early as age two to make your workload easier. Just make sure these chores are age-appropriate and that they understand how to do the task well. Examples include setting and clearing the table for meals, folding clothes from the dryer, taking out the trash, or making their beds on a daily basis.

Develop healthy habits for your physical and mental health needs

Getting enough sleep, exercising regularly, and eating healthily are all important goals for any parent. Your kids are often observing your actions and absorbing your language, so you want to strive to set them up for success. Instilling healthy habits in your kids means that you likely need to have those habits established for yourself first. When you work out, for example, take your child along and let them dance or do their own little workout to the side. When planning meals, involve your child in the decision-making process by letting them choose healthy foods to eat that night. Try to go to bed and wake up at the same time each day and mirror the habits you’d like your child to take on.

Single parents often sacrifice their own needs and wants to put their children first. When you do this often, it’s easy to forget that you’re also human with needs of your own. While putting your kids first is noble, understand that the more you help yourself, the greater capacity you’ll have to help your children. Single parents may benefit from practicing self-care regularly and shouldn’t be afraid to treat themselves. Take good care of your kids, but also take care of yourself; you have a lot on your plate.

Seek guidance for proper child parenting

Single parents need to seek guidance for proper child parenting, this is to avoid burnout and also for them to know the tips and strategies for taking care of their child as a single parent. They can ask for guidance from professionals knowledgeable about child parenting.

Getting support from BetterHelp when raising children as a single mother

Being a single parent comes with unique challenges that can be hard to navigate alone. Everyone should have someone to turn to in times of need, which is why BetterHelp was created. At BetterHelp, you can be matched with a therapist selected with your preferences in mind. You’ll meet your therapist online and begin therapy shortly after. You can connect with them via a phone call, video chat, or computer chat, making it easy and convenient to receive the care you need.

Additionally, TeenCounseling offers the same services for teens! If you’re looking for someone to be in your corner as you navigate the experience of single parenthood, or if you have any other problem in your life, look no further than BetterHelp. It could be just what you need, so don’t be afraid to reach out and give it a try.

Online therapy has helped many parents – coupled and single – improve their parenting styles and establish a balance between their needs and those of their children. In a 2021 study utilizing a web-based intervention involving 12 parents, results showed evidence of the method’s efficacy in improving parents’ moods, coping skills, emotional control, and psychological flexibility.