Understanding Parental Burnout And How To Cope With Exhaustion
Due to the inherent stresses of family life and a host of other factors, many parents experience parental burnout. This can be seen as a state of emotional exhaustion and lack of fulfillment that may contribute to the development of other mental health concerns if left unaddressed. Engaging in regular self-care, practicing self-compassion, and attending support groups for parents can be helpful in reducing parental burnout. If you’re having a hard time handling burnout on your own, consider connecting with a licensed therapist in your local area or through an online therapy platform.
What is parental burnout?
In recent years, burnout, defined as “emotional exhaustion, depersonalization, and a decrease in self-fulfillment,” has become recognized as one of the primary mental health challenges affecting people today. Burnout has become such a widespread phenomenon that in 2019, the World Health Organization officially recognized “burnout syndrome” as a legitimate mental health concern alongside more well-known mental illnesses like depression.
While parental burnout was initially studied in connection to parents of sick children, research has determined that any parent can experience it. In modern society, as parents are often forced to work long hours in addition to caring for their children, some find it harder to juggle all the responsibilities and stresses of life.
Recognizing the signs of parental burnout
The stereotypical image of perpetually exhausted parents may be so ingrained that many seem to think of it as the norm. The idea that parental burnout is normal often makes the problem worse by reinforcing feelings of shame and guilt, potentially leading parents to question their own parenting skills.
They might buy the latest self-help books in search of parenting advice without ever considering that parental burnout can be a legitimate mental health concern. While all parents raising children might experience occasional tiredness and exhaustion, parental burnout tends to be far more severe and damaging. Learning to recognize the signs of parental burnout can be crucial to getting the help one deserves to resolve it.
Addressing the impact of parental burnout and stress
There can be a host of symptoms of parental burnout, ranging from brain fog, confusion, and a shortened temper to poor sleep, depression, and more. These symptoms often lead to emotional distancing from one’s child, which can have a severe impact on the parent-child relationship. The symptoms of parental burnout can also lead to increased chances of physical ailments, such as erectile dysfunction, diabetes, and hormonal imbalances, which may worsen existing symptoms of burnout if left untreated.
According to Clinical Psychological Science, those experiencing parental burnout often experience more suicidal ideation than those experiencing job burnout. There is often no “escape” from parenting, unlike with a job that may allow options for time off. This is one of the many reasons why seeking help can be crucial.
If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Text or call 988 or chat 988lifeline.org. Support is available 24/7. If you are experiencing trauma, support is available.
Self-care for parents: Coping with burnout and exhaustion
Parents experiencing the pitfalls of parental burnout might recognize what they are experiencing, but they may not have adequate coping skills to address it. Those experiencing parental burnout are often prone to beating themselves up mentally, believing they are inadequate parents for going through what can be entirely normal emotions. Remembering to practice self-compassion and self-care can be essential to mitigating the debilitating aspects of parental burnout.
Simple self-care strategies to support mental well-being while parenting
Finding small ways to relax, relieve stress, and reward yourself usually improves mental well-being, often resulting in improved parenting. Prioritizing sufficient sleep each night, eating a nutritious diet, drinking plenty of water, spending time outdoors, and making time for exercise can be beneficial. Taking a few minutes for yourself to enjoy a cup of tea, meditate, journal, or practice grounding exercises can also make a difference.
Why parents should seek help and take time for themselves?
It can also be important for parents to remember there is no such thing as a “perfect parent.” Parents should avoid holding themselves to unattainable standards. Do not be afraid to ask others for help, as the old adage “It takes a village to raise a child” may have a ring of truth to it to this day. Try not to feel guilty about hiring a babysitter or asking a friend or family member to care for your children for a few hours so that you can enjoy time to yourself on occasion.
Therapy and support groups
When addressing and coping with parental burnout, support groups can serve as an important resource that may provide relief for parents experiencing burnout. Support groups can often relieve the feelings of isolation and loneliness that can come with parental burnout. They can provide a safe avenue for parents to vent about their troubles, as well as a chance to form bonds and relationships with other parents who may be undergoing similar struggles.
An aspect of parenting that often contributes to parental burnout is the diminished social life parents often experience while raising a child. A support group can help parents feel less alone by connecting them with others who might understand what they are going through.
Benefits of online therapy for parental burnout
In today’s fast-paced environment, parents often find making the time to find or meet with a support group challenging. One potentially helpful resource at busy parents’ disposal is online therapy. Between juggling the stress of work and raising a child, parents are often exhausted and have little time for support groups or visiting a therapist. Online therapy can provide a more convenient and accessible option for parents to connect with a licensed professional from the comfort of their homes.
Effectiveness of online therapy for parenting exhaustion
According to a 2022 study, online cognitive behavioral therapy may be effective in preventing and treating burnout. This study joins a large body of evidence supporting the idea that online therapy can be just as effective as in-person therapy for addressing a wide variety of mental health concerns.
Takeaway
Is it normal to be tired all the time as a parent?
Research shows that feeling exhausted is common for parents, especially in the early years. While feeling overwhelmed is common, that doesn’t mean that we should accept it as okay, as stress and overwhelm can lead to burnout.
In a recent study, researchers found that parental burnout may be more common than we think, with 5 million experiencing it every year. Most parents find parenthood exhausting at times, but feel that they must be the perfect parent and therefore don’t talk about the challenges. Experts agree that talking about the difficulties of parenthood and removing the stigma from parental burnout can help parents protect their mental health and be more effective and happier parents for their kids overall.
How do you manage stress and parental fatigue?
Parents who are feeling overwhelmed can manage stress by implementing some self-care strategies. First and foremost, create and maintain strong social relationships with family and friends. Social support is a major protective factor in mental health, and having a community also allows you to ask for help, whether you need child care, a chance to get out of the house, or just want someone to listen to you.
It can also be important to focus on maintaining a healthy, balanced life. Make time for regular exercise, take breaks, and maintain your hobbies and interests as much as possible. A mindfulness practice can also be helpful, and doesn’t always require much time. Even taking the time to take deep breaths for a minute or two throughout the day can help boost energy and reduce burnout.
Why is self-care important in parenting?
Chronically burnt out parents can be ineffective parents. When a parent is struggling with mental health issues due to stress, they may find themselves inadvertently creating emotional distance between themselves and their kids, being short-tempered, and unable to offer the kind of emotional support children require for proper development. Parents struggling with overwhelming stress are also at higher risk for using substance use to cope, which can exacerbate these problems.
With social support and some lifestyle tweaks, parents can take care of their own needs, which in-turn can equip them to better parent their children.
What are the responsibilities of being a parent?
The parenting role encompasses a wide range of responsibilities, which can change throughout your child’s life. In the early days, families can feel a great deal of anxiety as they navigate learning how to care for an infant’s needs. Many young adults are unaware of how much physical and emotional labor is required until they experience it themselves, and chronic stress is a common outcome as new parents lose sleep, and try to juggle work life and home life.
As your child grows, they become more independent physically, but still require a vast amount of emotional and physical support, and complicating factors are thrown in such as peer relations, and academic pressure. It can be difficult for some parents to gauge how much supervision and interference are appropriate as the child grows into adulthood, which is why there are stories of parents approaching professors or associate professors in college to advocate for their adult children, while others barely offer supervision for their teens. Many of us become parents without a great deal of education in child psychology and are simply doing the best we can, which can lead to feeling stressed.
How do you support an overwhelmed mom?
If you have someone in your life who is an overwhelmed mom, you can be supportive in a number of ways. First, check in with them often. Be ready to listen if they need someone to vent their feelings to. You can also offer practical help. If you are comfortable doing so, offer to keep an eye on the child(ren) to give them a break when needed. You can also make a meal and bring it over, or help them clean the house and run errands. If you sense that your friend or family member is struggling with overwhelming exhaustion or burnout symptoms, encourage them to seek professional help in a loving and non-judgmental way.
What are some signs of parental burnout?
Some common symptoms of parental burnout may include:
- Mental fatigue
- Sleep problems
- Avoidance and isolation
- Irritability
- A decreased interest in activities
- Feelings of shame and guilt
- Feelings of resentment
- Emotional detachment from one’s children
- Frustration
- Overwhelming feelings of physical or mental exhaustion
It is important to remember that a good parent can feel these signs of burnout. No parent should feel shame or guilt for needing and reaching out for help.
What do you do when you feel overwhelmed by parenting responsibilities?
The majority of parents who have reported burnout have found it essential to reach out to others for help. This can be friends or family who can offer practical and emotional support, or professional help from a licensed therapist.
How do you deal with new parent fatigue?
New parent fatigue is extremely common, and yet few parents talk about it openly. This is a mistake, as it can lead to even more stress. In some cases, working with a mental health professional can be extremely helpful in identifying and processing your feelings, as well as getting practical advice on how to cope with the stresses of parenthood.
What are some risk factors for parental burnout?
Risk factors for parental burnout can include being single parents or working parents, as this adds to the stress load. You may also find parenting more difficult if you have a chronic illness, or if your child has developmental or health issues.
Is parental burnout dangerous?
In certain cases, unaddressed parental burnout can be dangerous. Studies have shown that parental burnout can increase suicidal and escape ideations in parents, and lead to child neglect or child abuse.
- Previous Article
- Next Article