9 Things You Need To Know About Avoidant Personality Disorder And Social Skills

Experiencing mild anxiety in an unfamiliar social setting can be a nearly universal human experience. However, if you almost never feel comfortable interacting with other people, or if you avoid developing close relationships out of a fear of rejection, you may have avoidant personality disorder (AVPD). While AVPD can limit the quantity and quality of relationships you have, therapy may alleviate symptoms and reduce the fear you experience when interacting with others. 

Do social settings leave you feeling overwhelmed?

Connect with a licensed therapist online

What is avoidant personality disorder?

Symptoms of AVPD

According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-V), an individual may be diagnosed with AVPD when they exhibit at least four of the following seven symptoms:

1. Avoiding social, interpersonal, and work-related activities that involve a lot of interaction because of a fear of being criticized or rejected
2. Being unwilling to build new relationships unless they’re sure the person will like them
3. Being restrained in intimate relationships because they are worried the person will ridicule or shame them
4. Constantly worrying about being criticized or rejected
5. Being reserved in new interpersonal situations due to a sense of inadequacy
6. Having poor self-confidence because they believe they are inferior or unappealing to others
7. Being reluctant to take risks or participate in activities that might lead to embarrassment or perceived failure

Mental health professionals typically also look for the following traits when assessing a person for AVPD. You may consider these elements if you’re wondering whether you have the condition.

• Individuals with AVPD typically dress neutrally and avoid notable clothing or hairstyle choices. 
• People with AVPD may have trouble making or maintaining eye contact with others.
• Those with AVPD often repress emotions, especially if they may be perceived as negative or unlikable.

9 things you need to know about avoidant personality disorder and social skills

While avoidant personality disorder may impact your social interactions with others, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you are socially inept. Learn more about the connection between AVPD and an individual’s social skills. 

1. Avoidant personality disorder usually overlaps with social anxiety disorder.

Researchers have differing opinions regarding whether AVPD and SAD should be classified as two different conditions or as two different points on a spectrum of anxiety. However, the American Psychiatric Association believes that the conditions should be distinguished as two distinct mental disorders because each one tends to have a different impact on a person’s social skills. 

People with SAD typically struggle in specific social situations, while someone with AVPD may find all interpersonal contact challenging. Even though an individual with social anxiety typically has irrational worries, they are usually aware that how they are feeling is disproportionate to the scenario they are facing. With AVPD, individuals may truly believe they deserve to be judged and criticized. Ultimately, up to 50% of patients with AVPD may also have SAD.

2. Avoidant personality disorder doesn’t necessarily correlate with a lack of social skills.

The symptoms of AVPD may lead people to believe they don’t know how to act in social settings, but the condition isn’t usually a result of a lack of social skills. It often occurs because an individual has developed a fearful attachment style. People with AVPD typically have a negative view of themselves and a fear of developing intimate relationships with others. This attachment style usually comes from a mixture of genetics and childhood experiences.

3. People with avoidant personality disorder may have experienced a challenging childhood.

There is a suspected association between a person’s adverse childhood experiences and the risk of developing AVPD. Common childhood experiences that have been linked with AVPD include the following:

• Neglect and emotional abuse
• A lack of encouragement from caregivers
• Few positive relationships with adults
• Being led to experience guilt by authority figures
• Being raised by individuals who lack social skills
• Rejection by parents or caregivers

If a child grows up being constantly criticized or ignored by their parents, they may experience intense anxiety as they try to build close relationships as an adult. On the other hand, children with positive relationships with their caregivers and whose needs are consistently met are usually less likely to develop AVPD and struggle in social settings later in life.

4. Temperament likely plays a role in AVPD.

Four temperament traits can typically be ascribed to a person with AVPD. 

1. They usually have high harm avoidance and often avoid taking personal risks when it seems they might experience emotional damage or rejection.
2. They display low novelty-seeking behaviors. Even though they want social relationships, they tend to be unwilling to step into new situations that would allow for those relationships. 
3. They may have low to moderate reward dependence, so they often feel disappointed or dissatisfied when they are unable to build meaningful relationships with others. 
4. They generally have low persistence and often give up on building or deepening relationships as soon as an obstacle arises. 

5. AVPD may co-occur with other mental health conditions.

The social challenges of AVPD may be compounded by the fact that this disorder often co-occurs with other conditions. People with AVPD are usually more likely to develop substance use disorders, possibly as a result of using substances to cope with stressful social situations. People with AVPD may also develop depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and other disorders.

Similar to other personality disorders, people with AVPD typically have an increased likelihood of attempting suicide. This may stem from the fact that they often believe they are inadequate and have less worth than others around them.

6. Work can be challenging for someone with AVPD.

Obtaining a job almost always involves some sort of interpersonal interaction, such as a job interview. This can make it difficult for someone with AVPD to become employed. The jobs that people with AVPD seek out tend to be non-confrontational, and these individuals may be more likely to pursue remote positions where interactions are highly limited. 

7. Self-care can help manage avoidant personality disorder symptoms.

Self-care can better equip people with AVPD to navigate the intense fear and anxiety that accompany social settings. Being overly tired or hungry can amplify negative feelings. By getting enough sleep, staying hydrated, eating nutrient-rich foods, and spending time with people with whom they are comfortable, those with AVPD may conserve their emotional energy for necessary social settings or for treatment.

8. Approximately one in 50 people has avoidant personality disorder.

There is little research on AVPD compared to similar mental health disorders, such as social anxiety disorder. However, most research agrees that the prevalence of AVPD is somewhere between 1.5% to 2.5% of the population. There is a good chance the condition affects someone you know, which may be a comforting thought if you believe that you are the only person who experiences extreme social struggles. 

9. Therapy has been shown to effectively treat avoidant personality disorder.

Social skills training was studied as a treatment for AVPD decades ago, but current research recommends cognitive behavioral therapy to help people with AVPD change maladaptive thought patterns, improve their self-esteem, and build their social skills. Exposure therapy can also be an effective treatment, but patients may be less likely to stick with the treatment long-term due to its overwhelming nature. 

Do social settings leave you feeling overwhelmed?

Connect with a licensed therapist online

For someone with AVPD, the thought of meeting with an unknown therapist may be debilitating. They may believe the therapist will judge them, which may ultimately lead them to avoid therapy or opt not to continue after just one or two sessions. Online therapy may be one option to remedy these concerns. With online therapy, individuals can participate in therapy from a location that provides comfort and security. They may even opt to communicate over the phone or online chat, completely avoiding the discomfort that comes with face-to-face video interaction until they are more at ease.

Dozens of studies have examined the effectiveness of online CBT in treating mental health conditions. A recent study in Canada examined the impact of online therapy in treating people with depression and anxiety and confirmed that online therapy appeared to provide the same results as in-person therapy, alleviating 90% of symptoms in participants. 

Less research has been done regarding online CBT for personality disorders, but the existing studies suggest that patients are typically satisfied with online treatment, and it can be a viable option to reduce symptoms.