Emerging Personality Disorders In Adolescents: How Parents Can Help
Personality disorders are often diagnosed in adulthood, commonly in a person’s 20s or 30s. However, people may show signs of personality disorders in adolescence and can be diagnosed before the age of 18 in some cases. Parents and caregivers may be confused about how to help when a child is diagnosed with a personality disorder. By offering empathetic support, a comfortable home environment, and mental health resources, parents may make a positive change in their child’s symptoms and emotional health.
What are personality disorders?
Personality disorders are mental illnesses listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5). These conditions are typically characterized by instability in personality, turbulent relationships, and harmful behaviors. The DSM-5 lists 10 personality disorders:
- Borderline personality disorder (BPD)
- Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD)
- Histrionic personality disorder (HPD)
- Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)
- Avoidant personality disorder (APD)
- Dependent personality disorder (DPD)
- Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD)
- Paranoid personality disorder
- Schizoid personality disorder
- Schizotypal personality disorder
Depending on the disorder a person experiences, symptoms can vary. However, many personality disorders tend to cause risk-taking behavior, personality differences, and difficulty forming healthy connections with others. An emerging personality disorder in teens can cause similar symptoms.
Understanding personality disorder diagnoses in adolescents
Studies indicate that emerging personality disorders in adolescents are rare. However, mental health professionals may diagnose a personality disorder in an adolescent if symptoms have been persistent and caused maladaptive personality traits for at least one year. For a personality disorder diagnosis to be made, the symptoms must not be due to a developmental stage or another mental illness.
An emerging personality disorder in adolescents can cause the same symptoms as in adults. However, teens may be more emotionally volatile due to emotional growth and their unique life stage. Teens are often susceptible to increased stress and mental health challenges due to social life, schooling, and physical or hormonal changes. Juggling personal, social, professional, educational, and family life can be challenging for any teen, but especially those with personality disorders.
How parents can support a child with a personality disorder
If your teen is living with a personality disorder or showing traits of one of these conditions, consider the following ways to offer support.
Avoid stigma and blame
Personality disorders are in the media and society. To support your child, it may help to avoid stigmatizing terms like “dramatic,” “insane,” or “crazy.” You can let them know that you accept them as they are and do not blame them for living with a mental illness. It may also help to educate them on the importance of mental health awareness and openness. Being a person your child can come to when they’re distressed may help them know they are safe.
Approach them with empathy
When discussing symptoms and life experiences, it may help to approach your child with empathy. Even if you don’t fully understand what they’re going through, you can let them know you feel for them and want to be part of a loving and empathetic support system. If their symptoms are challenging for you to cope with, it may help to avoid telling your child that they are causing stress in your life. Instead, you can set boundaries about your time, belongings, energy, and space while continuing to be present and compassionate when your child comes to you for help. Consider helping them find resources or coping mechanisms to overcome obstacles.
Communicate directly and compassionately
When supporting your child, you might consider talking to them directly about what they’re going through instead of avoiding conversations out of an attempt to sidestep conflict. You can let your child know you’re someone they can talk to about anything. When they express their feelings, it may help to avoid judging them as positive or negative. You can also repeat back what they said to ensure you understand and then offer validating statements like the following:
- “I hear you.”
- “I’m here for you.”
- “Let’s explore how to handle this emotion together.”
- “How can I most help you right now?”
- “Do you want me to listen or offer advice?”
- “That sounds difficult to cope with.”
- “Would you like me to help you walk through some coping strategies?”
- “I love you, and I’m here to help.”
- “You’re not alone.”
- “What is the most difficult challenge you’re experiencing right now?”
Consider suggesting coping skills they may have learned in the past. You can guide them through these skills, even if they’ve used them before. Mentoring and practice may help the skills become more natural for them to use on their own over time.
Provide a safe and calm home environment
Studies suggests that a disorganized home may lead to increased stress. It may help to ensure your house is clean and has natural lighting or calming ambient lights. Also, scented candles, essential oils in a diffuser, or wax melts can offer a calming scent to the air, which may promote a reduction in anxiety.
You can also make the home a comforting place by offering fidget items for stress relief, as well as craft supplies, books, or video games to entertain your children and give them an escape from their bedroom. If you have a yard, consider buying yard games and having family time outside. If your teen doesn’t feel ready for family activities, you might still promote individual outdoor activities and exercise, which can significantly improve mental health.
Take them seriously
Symptoms of personality disorders can arise often and may repeat themselves daily or weekly. For some parents, repetitive behaviors may be a challenging barrier even after a child has received support. For example, a teen may threaten to hurt themselves often, even if they do not follow through. However, because self-harm and suicide are serious risks and a higher possibility in those with personality disorders, a parent taking their child seriously can be the difference between safety and an emergency.
You can help your teen get crisis services when they make mentions of crisis behaviors like self-harm. It may also help to look for support options for parents if you become overwhelmed.
Find professional help for teens
Personality disorders are considered severe mental illnesses that can impact many aspects of life. Adolescents with personality disorder diagnoses may benefit from having a professional to talk to on a regular basis, as well as a safety plan in case of risky behavior. You might consider talking to your teen about requesting accommodations at school, enrolling them in case management, and finding support groups for teens. You might also talk to them about signing up for therapy.
A therapist can help a child draft a safety plan and find resources for teens that support their unique circumstances. In addition, family therapy may be a helpful resource for exploring a child’s symptoms alongside them. Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), a treatment modality developed to treat borderline personality disorder, may be offered in a family setting, allowing a child to learn alongside their parent and receive parental support and encouragement.
Mental health support for parents
Parents and caregivers may also benefit from support when helping a teen with a personality disorder. Having someone to talk to can be a way to reduce stress and learn about effective parenting approaches. In addition, therapists are educated on personality disorders and may be able to help with understanding borderline personality disorder or other personality disorders.
If you face barriers to in-person therapy, online therapy through a platform like BetterHelp could be a more accessible option. TeenCounseling for teens aged 13 to 19 can also be used for supporting adolescents with personality disorders. An online platform lets clients talk to their therapist from home via phone, video, or live chat. In addition, the therapist can be contacted at any time throughout the week through in-app messaging, and they respond as soon as they are available.
Studies show that online therapy is effective for parents. One study published in 2021 found that an online therapist-assisted program for parents reduced parental distress and improved parental self-efficacy and family functioning in parents of adolescents with anxiety or depression.
Takeaway
For professional guidance as a parent of an adolescent, you might consider reaching out to a therapist in your area or online. With BetterHelp, you can be matched with a therapist who has experience helping parents of adolescents living with personality disorders and/or other mental health conditions. Take the first step toward getting support as a parent and reach out to BetterHelp.
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