Personality 101: Understanding The Science Of Personality To Strengthen Relationships
When you first get to know someone, like a new friend or romantic partner, you may first notice their personality. You might notice that you get along better with certain personalities and dislike people of another type. Understanding personality in psychology can allow you to understand your preferences in relationships and the type of person you might be.
What is personality?
The American Psychological Association (APA) describes personality as the enduring characteristics and behaviors that shape a person's relationship to the world and their inner self. They include significant traits, interests, values, self-perception, drives, abilities, and emotional patterns. Understanding personality may help you understand the relationships you form, as well.
While these dimensions are often stable, specific personality features may change positively as you age. Specifically, the APA indicates that individuals become more agreeable, helpful, warm, and generous as they grow older.
Given the flexibility and variety of human personalities, getting to know someone else can feel exciting and overwhelming. It may be challenging to unpack the full extent of a person's personality within a day and perhaps months. However, consistently showing interest in others can unravel their layers and build rewarding, lasting relationships.
Why do people have unique personalities?
Personality is a broad and fascinating field of psychological study. While researchers have made strides in this field, they are continually working to understand why personalities vary significantly and how they change throughout life.
In the psychological literature, researchers often reference the "Big Five" dimensions of personality: a model used to describe individual differences in personality. As defined by the APA, the five dimensions are:
- Extraversion: Extraversion is an orientation of interests and energies toward the outer world, encompassing people and situations, compared to the inner world of personal, subjective experience.
- Agreeableness: Agreeableness is the tendency to act cooperatively and unselfishly. Agreeableness is also associated with warmth and generosity.
- Conscientiousness: This trait involves being organized, responsible, and hardworking.
- Neuroticism: This trait describes a person's level of emotional stability and susceptibility to psychological distress.
- Openness to experience: This trait describes the willingness to engage in new aesthetic, cultural, or intellectual experiences.
The Big Five model is widely used by psychologists, individuals, and workplaces to explore variations in personality. Still, it's not the only framework available, nor can it fully encompass the "true you."
Psychological models are valuable tools, but personality is a complicated subject shaped by numerous factors. It can be helpful to note that all personality models are theories, meaning they are widely accepted in psychology but are not necessarily fact.
Factors that shape personality
Below are a few factors that researchers have determined may shape personality.
Genetics
Genetics can account for a significant degree of variation in personality based on studies of twins and families. One 2015 study found that heritability for the Big Five traits ranges from 31% to 41%. In general, estimates for the heritability of personality range from 30% to 60%. For this reason, your unique gene makeup influences your traits, temperament, and how you approach the world.
Environment
Your environment is made up of your physical surroundings and social interactons. You might have grown up in a bustling household with many people or a small apartment in a big city. Some people are raised in environments that may feel unsafe or unstable due to fighting among family members, substance use, or other concerns.
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These early environments play a long-term role in personality. They can shape a person's hostility levels, social skills, ability to trust, and perception of risk, which can all influence their well-being and relationships in adulthood.
In addition to the places you've been, your present environment may shape who you become, based on research by Stanford University. One 2020 study found that personalities and places influence one another. Specifically, the researchers found that extroverted people spend more time in public spaces, like cafes and bars. They also noted that introverted people may temporarily feel more sociable when immersed in these social spaces.
Culture
Within a society or community, culture includes the distinctive customs, values, beliefs, languages, and knowledge of those in the community. Within the United States, researchers have identified personality differences between people in the upper Midwest, the South, the Northeast, and the West.
Using the Big Five personality model, Central and South American cultures tend to be more open to new experiences, whereas Asian cultures tend to be less extroverted and collectivistic. When you reflect on your personality, you might find that some of your traits align with the expectations and values of your culture.
Personal experiences
Early in life, adverse experiences like the absence of parents, family conflict, or neglect tend to affect a person's emotional functioning and interpersonal competency. In some cases, these experiences can increase the risk of developing a personality disorder. Predictably, positive life experiences often result in positive personality changes, based on a 2016 study of personality changes from life experiences.
Personality disorders
People diagnosed with personality disorders tend to relate to the world and themselves in ways that interfere with their overall health and functioning. The latest Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5) recognizes ten personality disorders, including the following:
- Antisocial personality disorder
- Avoidant personality disorder
- Borderline personality disorder
- Dependent personality disorder
- Histrionic personality disorder
- Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder
- Schizoid personality disorder
- Schizotypal personality disorder
- Narcissistic personality disorder
- Paranoid personality disorder
People with personality disorders deserve quality care and compassion. With proactive treatment, it's possible to manage the symptoms of a personality disorder and lead a healthy, fulfilling life. Spreading stigmas about personality disorders can be harmful.
Four tips for getting to know someone: The science of personality
By understanding the science of personality, you may get to know other people on a more profound level. Based on the latest research on personality, consider the following four tips to connect with other people, enhance your social life, and boost your mental health.
Exercise your emotional intelligence
Emotional intelligence describes your ability to process emotional information for reasoning and other cognitive activities. Often, people with greater emotional intelligence can better comprehend others' feelings and control their own emotions to promote growth and well-being, according to the APA.
On a daily basis, how can you improve and exercise your emotional intelligence? Below are a few expert tips:
- Keep a journal to document and reflect on your emotional responses.
- Practice active listening by taking time to understand other people's needs, wants, and non-verbal cues.
- Use mindfulness techniques, which help you focus your attention on the present moment and develop greater self-awareness.
By controlling your emotional state, you may feel better equipped to ask thoughtful questions, listen attentively, and show up for others. Over time, you'll develop a deeper understanding of your personality, allowing you to interact more authentically with others.
Recognize and embrace diversity
Diversity comes in many forms. If you casually observe a small group of people at the train station or your favorite coffee shop, you might witness a range of personalities, racial identities, religious beliefs, gender identities, and other characteristics that make for diverse, vibrant communities.
These factors intersect with genetics and environment, resulting in your one-of-a-kind personality. As you get to know anyone, recognizing the role of diversity in personality can help you ask more thoughtful, inquisitive questions about their background.
Ask better questions
A spirit of curiosity helps you ask better, more insightful questions, which may connect you to new people and strengthen your current relationships.
If you're trying to ask better questions, experts at the Harvard Business Review recommend keeping the following pointers in mind.
- Don't be afraid to ask more questions. If someone says something that sparks your curiosity, follow up with more questions.
- Aim for open-ended questions, which tend to prompt deeper thinking and reflection than questions with yes-or-no responses.
- Authenticity and compassion can outweigh awkwardness. Asking sensitive or emotional questions can feel awkward if you don't discuss these subjects regularly. Honor both of your comfort levels, but open up the conversation to more profound subjects at times.
Seek out professional support
Therapists are professionally trained in the field of personality. They can help you develop tools to better understand yourself, others, and the world around you. If you're unfamiliar with therapy, you can also try online counseling.
Today, many people seek online therapy to improve their mental health while balancing a heavy workload, busy family life, and other life stressors. Online platforms like BetterHelp can match clients to licensed therapists who work with a wide range of personalities and mental health conditions. You can complete sessions from the comfort of your home at a time that works best for your schedule.
A growing body of research shows that online therapy is often as effective as traditional, face-to-face therapy. Recently, a study of caregivers for people with personality disorders found that online therapy was an effective and promising treatment. The caregivers reported significant improvements in their communication, quality of life, coping skills, and knowledge of personality disorders, and they also experienced reductions in cortisol (a stress hormone) after the 3-month treatment.
Takeaway
As you continue to learn, meet new people, and acquire new experiences, a therapist can act as a professional, supportive guide. Their expertise and listening skills can help you make sense of the world and your character to build a life that reflects your values and goals.
Is it good to have differences?
Differences in personality, background, and experiences benefit individuals, families, and society as a whole.
Why are differences so important?
Differences between people are important because they allow us to learn more about the world and ourselves through others who are different than us. Our differences make us stronger and provide a sense of connection with others, opportunity for personal growth, and increased adaptability to the world.
How do my individual differences help me grow as a person?
Individual differences stem from a wide range of factors, such as personality traits, experiences, skills, and background. These can significantly contribute to personal growth in many ways:
Differences help cultivate better self-awareness.
Consider that your unique qualities, strengths, and weaknesses are vital to understanding how your differences with others can lead to personal growth and self-awareness. This can help you identify areas of potential improvement and capitalize on your strengths. It can also lead to better decision-making skills and a deeper understanding of your goals and values.
There are many ways you can deepen your level of self-awareness through diversity. For example, it may help to write in a journal and reflect on your experiences with different people.
They can foster better adaptability.
Individual differences, such as your experiences and background, can shape your ability to adapt to different situations and challenges. Embracing and learning from your experiences, whether positive or negative, can help you become more resilient and flexible in the face of change.
Differences can create empathy and perspective.
Individual differences can also help create empathy and a better understanding of others through your unique experiences and perspectives. These can make you more compassionate and open-minded, leading to stronger relationships and a broader worldview.
Differences may aid in problem-solving.
Our unique skills and abilities can be assets in problem-solving. People often have different ways of approaching challenging situations, and embracing your individual strengths can help you find creative solutions to challenges that contribute positively to your personal growth.
They can aid in development and learning.
Recognizing how your learning styles and preferences differ from others can provide insight into how you best acquire and retain information, leading to more effective learning experiences and personal development.
Differences can give us stronger motivation and aid in goal setting.
Your differences can affect your motivations and the types of goals that resonate with you. Personal growth often involves setting and achieving goals-- understanding what drives you can help you set meaningful and achievable objectives.
Differences can help you cope with challenges.
Your differences shape how you cope with and respond to adversity. Learning to navigate these challenges can be a significant part of personal growth.
They can help you in establishing your identity.
Embracing your differences can help you develop a strong sense of personal identity and authenticity, leading to a more fulfilling and genuine life.
Differences can lead to better connections and relationships.
Your cultural background and experiences can influence your worldview and interactions with others. Developing cultural awareness and sensitivity can enhance your ability to connect with people from diverse backgrounds and corners of the world-- fostering personal growth through cultural exchange and understanding.
Why are individual differences important in an organization?
Diversity in perspectives and skills can lead to more innovative and effective team dynamics. Opening the discussion for everyone to contribute promotes growth for both the organization and individuals through collaboration and leadership experiences.
What is the benefit of knowing and valuing the differences of each person on a team?
Understanding differences is often the first step towards learning and benefiting from the different perspectives and knowledge that typically accompany diversity. Knowing and valuing those differences between individuals in a team setting can open doors to new opportunities and ways of thinking-- creating an environment in which people feel motivated to do their best work.
How can individual differences help make the team stronger?
There are several potential ways that diversity within organizations can make teams stronger:
- It helps boost problem-solving. Because there are many sets of eyes with different perspectives on a diverse team, you may identify potential issues before they begin or find more creative solutions for those that already have.
- More diversity often equals less mediocrity. When your team is comfortable with their differences and open for productive debate, it’s easier to identify stagnant areas that need reexamining, revitalizing, or reworking.
- Differences help drive progress within the organization. With unique ideas comes inspiration for new vision and growth.
How do you work effectively with individual differences?
Whether within a team of coworkers or a class of students, working effectively with a group featuring unique and diverse voices requires empathy and awareness. Recognizing the differences within the group is the first step, and understanding them is the second. Not only can this benefit all team members but also leaders with the awareness and ability to capitalize on those differences.
Working with individual differences also requires a measure of self-awareness from team members and leaders. It’s important to remember that differences and similarities are not necessarily “good” or “bad,” and there is no “right” way to manage them. Meeting in the middle often depends on an individual’s outlook, values, and ability to empathize with potential disagreements.
Why is managing individual differences important?
Each member of a team has their unique strengths and opportunities for improvement. When diverse ideas and opinions gather, sometimes they mesh seamlessly, and sometimes they can create conflict. Whether our differences make us stronger or our differences make us want to walk away, it’s a manager’s job to understand everyone’s point of view and encourage productive discourse to boost employee satisfaction, team morale, productivity, success, growth, and more.
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