Parenting With A Personality Disorder: Strategies For Stress And Symptom Management
Raising children often comes with a host of challenges. Many parents report high stress levels, especially when children are young and highly impressionable. Parenting can often seem like a full-time job in itself. It can be even more difficult for parents who live with personality disorders and other mental health conditions, and these individuals may benefit from seeking the insight and treatment of a licensed mental health professional. This can improve their quality of life and parenting skills, thus positively impacting their children as well.
Understanding personality disorders
Our personality usually dictates how we interact with people and society. It can impact how we see ourselves and others and how we react to various stimuli and situations. Our personality is typically determined by genetic factors and our environment. It can be a significant determining factor in our quality of life, level of stress tolerance, and emotional regulation abilities.
According to the American Psychiatric Association, “To be classified as a personality disorder, one's way of thinking, feeling and behaving deviates from the expectations of the culture, causes distress or problems functioning, and lasts over time.”
Individuals with personality disorders often struggle with emotional dysregulation, which generally leads them to be more susceptible to impulsive behaviors, such as alcohol or substance misuse, emotional outbursts, bouts of anger, and other behavioral symptoms. This can drastically impact one’s overall quality of life by affecting their ability to perform responsibilities and cope with challenges in their daily lives.
There are 10 types of personality disorders, such as borderline personality disorder (BPD), narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), and obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD), and individuals often struggle with comorbid disorders like anxiety and depression as well.
The challenges of parenting with a personality disorder
Parenting can be a significant source of stress and worry, even for parents with good mental health. This difficulty can be increased even more when one or both parents experience poor mental health or personality disorders.
A 2020 study showed that parents with borderline personality disorder (BPD) typically report “high levels of parenting stress and low levels of competency, self-efficacy, and reward” with regard to parenting. In addition to these findings, the study also showed that children of those with BPD tend to be more likely to have personality disorders and mental health struggles, such as more frequent disruptive outbursts and a higher likelihood of experiencing attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).
Despite the increased emphasis on the importance of mental health in modern society, one issue facing parents and children today may be that individuals with personality disorders often go through life undiagnosed or unaware of the mental challenges they’re facing. They may not realize that their challenges could be improved with professional help. Parents with untreated personality disorders often struggle with many of the cornerstones of healthy parenting, such as showing empathy and patience to their children.
When left unchecked, parents with personality disorders often continue the familial cycle of poor mental health by passing down these maladaptive traits and behaviors to their children. This is why it can be crucial for parents with personality disorders to receive a proper diagnosis from a licensed professional and seek treatment to manage their symptoms.
Stress and symptom management strategies
There are a variety of ways to manage stress and personality disorder symptoms. These coping strategies are often the same across the board, whether an individual is a parent or not.
The most important method for managing the symptoms of personality disorders tends to be seeking treatment. Treatment often comes in the form of various types of therapy, sometimes coupled with prescription medication.
Beyond that, individuals can employ other methods on their own to decrease the stress incurred by parenting with a personality disorder. Some of these coping strategies may include the following:
- Practicing self-care
- Prioritizing sleep
- Maintaining nutrient-rich eating habits
- Exercising regularly
- Reducing alcohol and substance use
- Spending quality time with one’s children and loved ones
- Attending support groups or helpful courses, such as anger management seminars
How therapy can help
Therapy may provide great relief to parents with personality disorders. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can teach individuals to work through negative thoughts and emotions and adjust them to be healthier and more constructive. Individuals with personality disorders often develop these conditions due to an abusive or traumatic upbringing, and therapy can give them greater insight into the potential sources of their mental health struggles.
Parents tend to have busy schedules, and adding a weekly in-person therapy appointment may seem overwhelming. Online therapy can be beneficial for those who are interested in a style of therapy that accommodates their schedules with added convenience and flexibility. Parents can attend sessions from home or any other location with an internet connection at times that suit their schedules.
According to a 2022 study, individuals with personality disorders who participated in online therapy typically experienced significant reductions in personality disorder symptoms.
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