Self-Importance And Fragile Self-Esteem: Narcissistic Personality Disorder In Women
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is typically characterized by a grandiose and entitled attitude, a sense that one is more important or more special than other people, a lack of empathy for other people’s concerns, and high rates of envy or jealousy.
Like many personality disorders, NPD can manifest differently in women than in men. In this article, we’ll explore how narcissistic personality disorder presents in biological women.
Subtypes of narcissistic personality disorder
There are different subtypes of narcissistic personality disorder, including:
- Grandiose narcissism: Often also referred to as “overt” or “classic” narcissism, grandiose narcissism generally describes the stereotypical conception of NPD. Someone with grandiose narcissism may have an entitled attitude and frequently boast about themselves and their accomplishments to other people.
- Covert narcissism: Covert narcissism also goes by the names “vulnerable narcissism,” “closet narcissism,” and “introverted narcissism.” Covert narcissism is usually not as obvious as grandiose narcissism and may be more difficult to recognize. Someone who experiences covert narcissism may tend to have a more internalized sense of self-importance and might not appear outwardly self-absorbed to other people. However, they may demonstrate many of the same manipulative tendencies associated with grandiose narcissism.
- Communal narcissism: Someone who experiences communal narcissism may have a tendency to become active in their local community, charities, and other beneficial organizations. They may seem generous with their time, money, and resources, but often, their apparent selflessness and community involvement are self-centered. They may pursue such activities not because they are genuinely interested in them, but because they believe their involvement gives them a positive reputation or that they can use it to promote themselves in some way – particularly on social media.
- Malignant narcissism: Malignant narcissism typically refers to a situation in which a person has both narcissistic personality disorder and antisocial personality disorder. It is usually referred to as “malignant” because people with both conditions typically have a lack of empathy and the skillset to prey on other people.
How does narcissistic personality disorder affect females differently from males?
Women who experience NPD may display the following symptoms:
- Having needy or dependent tendencies in their relationships with other people
- Frequently experiencing envy and jealousy
- Being preoccupied with their physical appearance, potentially to the point of pursuing risky cosmetic procedures or extreme eating habits
- Excessively consuming and posting social media content, carefully curating their online image
- Manipulating others or gaining power or attention through physical attractiveness or sex appeal, often by dressing in sexually provocative ways or wearing a lot of makeup
- Needing frequent validation, praise, and reassurance from their important relationships, including family members, friends, and partners, and becoming upset, moody, brooding, or jealous if they do not believe they have received commensurate praise
- Being easily hurt, offended, or upset
- Tending to shut down or lash out at others for perceived slights
- “Playing the victim” by acting submissive or helpless to exploit people (a tactic that is usually socially unacceptable for men)
- Being more vulnerable to criticism related to their weight or attractiveness
- Using manipulation tactics, like speaking poorly about someone behind their back, guilt-tripping, giving the silent treatment, spreading rumors, gaslighting, and name-calling, as opposed to overt aggression
- Appearing materialistic, using material goods and brand-name luxury items to promote the outward appearance of being wealthy as a way of displaying success and power
- Playing the “martyr” or victim
Some researchers have hypothesized that societal gender expectations regarding what is considered “successful” may influence the ways in which males and females experience NPD. Specifically, men with NPD may base their tenuous self-esteem on “besting” other people, particularly other men, meaning their idea of success is usually
Women with NPD, on the other hand, may base their self-esteem on social inclusion, meaning their idea of success may be derived from cooperation. This difference may explain why men with NPD often display the more overt and aggressive qualities of narcissism, while women with NPD may experience symptoms that are more muted and harder to detect.
Finding support for living with narcissistic personality disorder
Regardless of one’s gender identity, the personality traits associated with narcissistic personality disorder can take a significant negative toll on one’s interpersonal relationships and subjective well-being. However, personality disorders are often treatable. Speaking to a mental health professional can be the first step toward reducing NPD symptoms.
A person with narcissistic personality disorder may have difficulty attending a traditional in-person therapy appointment for fear that they may be judged negatively by other people in the waiting room or even clinic staff members. In this situation, online therapy could be a helpful option. Online therapy through a service like BetterHelp can be reached from the convenience and comfort of one’s home
Research has found that attending online therapy may have similar outcomes to traditional in-person therapy appointments. One study, which reviewed a number of online therapeutic interventions for personality disorders, found that symptoms could be reduced after attending a course of online therapy appointments.
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