What Is A Narcissist? Signs And Symptoms Of Pathological Narcissism
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In recent years, the terms “narcissist” and “narcissistic personality” have become commonly used in casual conversation. This widespread use has led to some misconceptions about what exactly these labels mean and when they may apply. Here, we’ll explore the answer to the question, “What is a narcissist?,” covering key signs and symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder, notes on terminology, and treatment options.
What are personality disorders?
According to the American Psychological Association, a personality disorder is when “one's way of thinking, feeling and behaving deviates from the expectations of the culture, causes distress or problems functioning, and lasts over time.” Personality disorders are considered to be a type of diagnosable mental illness. There are several different types of personality disorders, such as borderline personality disorder, paranoid personality disorder, schizotypal personality disorder, and narcissistic personality disorder, among others.
Can personality disorders be cured?
Personality disorders are generally thought of as conditions that require long-term treatment and management rather than conditions that can be “cured,” though this may be possible in some cases. Treatment for personality disorders usually consists of some form of individual talk therapy, which often aims to help the individual learn to develop self-awareness of their behaviors and coping tools for their symptoms. In some cases, medication, lifestyle changes, and family or couples therapy might also be recommended.
What is a narcissist?
Although the term “narcissist” has become common in popular culture, many clinicians avoid using it. Instead, they may prefer language like a person having narcissistic tendencies, or qualifying for a diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder, or NPD (sometimes referred to as pathological narcissism).
Terminology: What is a narcissist vs. someone with narcissistic personality disorder?
Again, “narcissist” as a label is viewed as an outdated and potentially offensive term by many mental health experts. It’s possible for someone to display some narcissistic traits but not qualify for an official diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder. In this case, they may be referred to clinically as a person showing narcissistic traits or tendencies. Or, a person may display enough of these tendencies to qualify for a clinical diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder, or NPD, in which case they’d be referred to as a person with NPD.
Using the correct terminology for this type of condition can be important. NPD is a diagnosable mental health condition, just like depression or bipolar disorder. While individuals can take steps to learn to better manage their symptoms, the development of the disorder is not a choice. Research has demonstrated differences in gray matter in the brains of those with NPD, further highlighting the fact that this NPD is an illness like any other. The harm that a person with this disorder can cause to those around them is real as well, but referring to this condition using nonjudgmental terminology may help reduce the stigma around it and encourage those experiencing symptoms to seek treatment.
About narcissistic personality disorder
In the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5), personality disorders are divided into categories, or “clusters.” Narcissistic personality disorder is classified as a cluster B personality disorder, along with antisocial personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, and histrionic personality disorder. The disorders in this cluster are typically characterized by behaviors that can be seen as “dramatic/erratic.”
It’s estimated that around 6% of US adults live with narcissistic personality disorder, though there’s some uncertainty with statistics on this illness. That’s because many people with NPD or other personality disorders don’t realize that their behaviors may indicate a diagnosable disorder and, therefore, may not seek help.
Symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder
The DSM-5 lists nine different criteria that mental health professionals can use to identify whether a person may have narcissistic personality disorder. In order for this diagnosis to be considered, the individual must display at least five of the following nine symptoms.
1. An inflated/grandiose sense of self-importance
A grandiose sense of one’s own importance is often a key symptom of NPD. The individual may believe that they are more important than others, which could lead them to behave selfishly or act in ways that put their needs or feelings above those of others.
2. A preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
People with NPD may fixate on certain expectations for their own future, often relating to having high levels of power, beauty, intelligence, or other forms of success. They may firmly believe that they will achieve and/or deserve these things.
3. A belief that they are special and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people or institutions
As discussed above, people with narcissistic personality disorder might believe that they’re more important than other people. As a result, they could reject spending time with people or in places that they don’t deem to be “high-status.”
4. A need for excessive admiration
A person with narcissistic personality disorder will often feel the need to receive frequent and glowing praise for who they are and what they’ve done. Since low self-esteem is often associated with this condition, the person may feel insecure or lost without frequent reassurance that they are worthy and impressive.
5. A sense of entitlement
A sense of entitlement is related to a sense of inflated self-importance and the belief that one is particularly special or unique. As a result of these beliefs, an individual with NPD might expect to receive privileges or praise, regardless of whether they’ve done anything to deserve or earn them.
6. Interpersonally exploitative behavior
It’s not uncommon for a person living with NPD to exploit others for their own gain, since they tend to believe that their needs and desires are more important than anyone else’s. As a result, they may experience the impulse to intentionally lie, deceive, or manipulate in order to exploit others and get what they want.
7. A lack of empathy
It’s often harder for those with this type of personality disorder to feel a sense of empathy for others. The symptom of an exaggerated sense of self-importance may cause them to focus on themselves and their own needs without considering the effects of their actions on others.
8. Envy of others, or a belief that others are envious of them
Because they often believe they are uniquely talented and important, people with NPD symptoms may assume that others are envious of them. Or, upon seeing the successes or admiration of others, they may be more likely to feel strongly envious themselves.
9. Arrogant and haughty behaviors or attitudes
This final criterion is another that’s related to an inflated sense of self-importance and entitlement. Those symptoms may make a person with pathological narcissism behave in an arrogant way, because they often believe that they are more important or worthy than those around them.
How pathological narcissism or narcissistic personality disorder can affect mental health
NPD is categorized as a mental health condition, so its symptoms are closely linked to mental health. First, some experts believe that it may be caused by past trauma like abuse in some cases. Trauma can affect mental health in many different ways, from contributing to the development of depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, or substance use disorders to causing chronic stress and problems in relationships.
Whether it’s linked to other mental health challenges like trauma or not, NPD itself can impact the overall mental health of an individual living with it. It’s important to note that NPD symptoms can significantly impact the mental health and well-being of those around the individual with this condition too, such as family members, partners, friends, and coworkers.
Commonly co-occurring mental health conditions with pathological narcissism, or narcissistic personality disorder
Another way NPD can affect a person’s mental health is by increasing the likelihood of developing other co-occurring, or comorbid, mental health conditions. Research suggests that anorexia nervosa, depressive disorders, and other personality disorders are commonly comorbid with NPD.
It’s also worth noting that many people with NPD actually live with shame, deep insecurity, and low self-esteem. Although their behaviors may seem to indicate the opposite, their symptoms may sometimes be attempts to control and enhance their own self-image and perception.
How NPD can affect relationships
NPD can also affect mental health by impacting a person’s relationships. Symptoms like exploitative behavior and a lack of empathy can strain and damage relationships with partners, friends, and family members. This can lead to stress, loneliness, and related health problems for both the individual living with NPD and their loved ones.
Seeking support for an inflated sense of self-importance, low self-esteem, and other NPD symptoms
The symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder can cause significant challenges for a person’s daily functioning and overall well-being, and it can deeply affect the lives and health of those around them as well. That’s why seeking treatment for signs of NPD can be so important. With professional treatment over time, a person may be able to learn to better recognize and adjust their behaviors and how they affect others.
Types of therapy for NPD
Talk therapy is one of the most common treatment methods for personality disorders of various types. Through any of a number of talk therapy methods, a therapist may help an individual with NPD learn to better manage their emotions, raise their self-esteem, and find healthier ways of interacting with other people. Some types of therapy that are often used for NPD symptoms may include:
- Cognitive behavioral therapy
- Dialectical behavioral therapy
- Schema therapy
- Transference-focused psychotherapy
If you’re experiencing signs of narcissistic personality disorder or another mental health condition, it’s usually recommended that you meet with a licensed mental health professional for evaluation and personalized treatment advice. Those who aren’t displaying signs of this disorder but whose mental or emotional health has been affected by someone with this disorder may also benefit from seeking support from a healthcare professional like a therapist.
Online therapy for NPD
In many cases, talk therapy can be equally effective when done online or in person, as research suggests. That means that individuals can often choose the format that works best for them without worrying about differences in quality of care. For example, those with busy schedules may choose online therapy because it usually offers a wider range of appointment times and doesn’t require time spent commuting to an office. Online therapy can also be preferable for those facing financial constraints, since virtual sessions tend to be more affordable than in-person sessions.
Takeaway
What are the 9 traits of a narcissist?
You may be wondering, “what is a narcissist?” In psychology today, narcissism is a complex personality trait characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a need for excessive admiration, a lack of empathy, and a tendency to exploit others for personal gain. While individuals can exhibit varying degrees of narcissistic traits, here are nine common traits associated with narcissism:
- Grandiosity: Narcissists often have an exaggerated sense of their own importance and believe they are unique, exceptional, or entitled to special treatment.
- Lack of empathy: They struggle to understand or empathize with the feelings and needs of others. Their focus is primarily on themselves and their own desires.
- Need for admiration: Narcissists crave constant attention, praise, and admiration from others to validate their self-worth and maintain their self-esteem.
- Sense of entitlement: They may believe that they deserve special privileges or treatment without necessarily earning them. This can lead to demanding behavior and a disregard for the rights of others.
- Exploitative behavior: Narcissists often take advantage of others for personal gain, using manipulation, deceit, or charm to achieve their goals.
- Lack of accountability: They may struggle to take responsibility for their actions and instead shift blame onto others or external factors when facing the slightest criticism.
- Arrogance: Narcissists display a superiority complex, considering themselves superior to others and belittling those they deem less important.
- Envy and jealousy: Despite their outward confidence, narcissists can feel envious of others' success or attributes, leading to feelings of low self-worth, resentment and competition.
- Difficulty in building healthy relationships: Their self-centeredness and lack of empathy can make it challenging for narcissists to form and maintain authentic and emotionally meaningful relationships.
Narcissism exists on a spectrum, ranging from healthy self-esteem to pathological narcissism. Not everyone who exhibits some of these traits is a full-fledged narcissist, and diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) requires a comprehensive assessment by mental health professionals. Treatment for NPD may include talk therapy such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to help individuals recognize and change narcissistic behaviors.
What are narcissist behaviors?
Narcissistic behaviors refer to patterns of actions and attitudes that are characteristic of individuals with narcissistic traits or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). These behaviors are driven by a need for excessive admiration, a lack of empathy, and a focus on self-importance. Individuals with NPD, a mental health disorder, may show certain personality traits, here are some common narcissistic behaviors:
- Constant need for attention and admiration: Narcissists seek attention and praise from others to validate their self-worth. It may seem like narcissists have high self-esteem, however, in many cases they have low self-esteem and they often engage in behaviors designed to boost self-esteem, such as boasting, exaggerating their accomplishments, and seeking constant validation.
- Manipulation and deceit: Narcissists are skilled at manipulating others to meet their own needs. They may use charm, flattery, or even deception to manipulate situations and people to their advantage. While they may seem highly social in nature, many narcissists exhibit antisocial behavior or tendencies and use people to fill their own needs.
- Lack of empathy: Empathy involves understanding and expressing the feelings of others. Narcissists struggle with this and often disregard or dismiss others' emotions and needs.
- Exploitative behavior: Narcissists may exploit others for personal gain, whether it's financial, emotional, or otherwise. They may use people as a means to an end and lack genuine concern for others' well-being.
- Sense of entitlement: Narcissists believe they deserve special treatment, even if they haven't earned it. They may demand preferential treatment and become frustrated or angered when they don't receive it.
- Inflated self-importance: Narcissists have an inflated sense of their own importance and often believe they are unique, exceptional, or more deserving than others.
- Difficulty handling criticism: Criticism is often taken personally and can lead to defensive reactions or aggression. Narcissists struggle to accept too much criticism or the that they might have flaws or make mistakes.
- Controlling and dominating behavior: Narcissists may attempt to control and dominate others to maintain a sense of power and superiority. This can manifest in various ways, from micromanaging to emotional manipulation or abuse. If you believe that you in a an abusive relationship call the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).
- Lack of genuine relationships: While narcissists may have many acquaintances or followers, their relationships tend to lack depth and authenticity. They may struggle to form meaningful emotional connections.
- Fantasies of endless success: Narcissists may have grandiose fantasies of endless or an unrealistic sense of success, power, and beauty. They may believe they are destined for greatness and expect others to recognize and cater to this belief.
- Quick to anger or frustration: When their desires or expectations are not met, narcissists can display intense anger or frustration. This may be accompanied by verbal or emotional aggression.
There may be individual difference in how a narcissist may exhibit behaviors to varying degrees, and not everyone who displays some of these behaviors has a diagnosable personality disorder. The cause of these behaviors may be due to a combination of inherit characteristics and environmental factors.
How to know if someone is narcissistic?
Identifying narcissistic traits in someone requires careful observation and an understanding of the common behaviors associated with narcissism. Keep in mind that while many people may exhibit some narcissistic behaviors occasionally, a diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) involves a consistent pattern of these behaviors that significantly impairs the person's functioning and well-being. Here are some signs to look for:
- Excessive self-centeredness: A narcissist’s sense of self-importance is strong and they may tend to focus excessively on themselves and their own needs, often disregarding the feelings and needs of others.
- Lack of Empathy: They struggle to understand or empathize with the emotions and experiences of others. They may dismiss or downplay the feelings of others.
- Constant need for attention: Narcissists crave either too much adoration or attention. They may seek attention through bragging, exaggerated stories, or dressing in ways that draw attention. A narcissist may spend time with individuals who look up to them or give them the attention they need.
- Grandiosity: A narcissist's sense of self-importance is inflated. They may believe they are more special, unique, or deserving than others.
- Exploitative behavior: Narcissists often use others for their own gain. They may manipulate, deceive, or take advantage of people emotionally, financially, or socially.
- Difficulty handling criticism: Constructive criticism is often taken as a personal attack. Narcissists can react defensively or with anger, and they may blame others for their mistakes.
- Lack of accountability: Narcissists may avoid taking responsibility for their actions and may shift blame onto others or external factors.
- Entitlement: They believe they deserve special treatment, regardless of whether they've earned it. They may expect preferential treatment and become upset when they don't receive it.
- Superficial relationships: While they may have many acquaintances, their relationships tend to lack depth and authenticity. They may use others for their own needs without forming genuine emotional connections.
- Constant need for validation: Narcissists seek constant affirmation and validation from others. They may fish for compliments or expect others to always support their views.
- Intolerance for others' success: They may be envious of others' achievements or success and might react negatively to others getting attention or recognition.
- Manipulation and charm: Narcissists can be skilled manipulators. They may use charm, flattery, or deceit to get what they want from others.
How do narcissists behave in a relationship?
Narcissists often exhibit specific patterns of behavior in relationships due to their self-centeredness, need for admiration, and lack of empathy. These behaviors can vary in intensity and may be more evident in closer or more intimate relationships. Here are some ways narcissists may behave in relationships:
- Idealization and love-bombing: At the beginning of a relationship, narcissists often idealize their partners, showering them with compliments, gifts, and affection. This phase, known as "love-bombing," is intended to win their partner's admiration and create a sense of dependency.
- Devaluation and manipulation: As the relationship progresses, narcissists may try to control their partner's thoughts, actions, and choices. They may use manipulation, guilt, or emotional blackmail to get what they want.
- Lack of empathy: Narcissists struggle to understand or prioritize their partner's feelings and needs. They may dismiss or belittle their partner's emotions and experiences.
- Exploitation: Narcissists often exploit their partner's resources, emotional support, and energy for personal gain. They may take advantage of their partner's kindness and generosity without reciprocating.
- Attention-seeking: Narcissists require constant attention and admiration. They may become upset if their partner doesn't focus solely on them or if attention is directed elsewhere.
- Quick to anger: When their desires are not met, narcissists can become angry or even explosive. They may react with verbal or emotional aggression.
- Superiority complex: Narcissists see themselves as superior and may belittle or demean their partner to maintain their own sense of importance.
- Gaslighting: Narcissists may manipulate their partner's perception of reality by distorting the truth, denying events, or blaming them for issues the narcissist caused.
- Triangulation: Narcissists may create drama or jealousy by involving other people in the relationship, causing confusion and insecurity in their partner.
- Devaluation and discard: Over time, the idealization phase gives way to devaluation, where the narcissist criticizes, devalues, or becomes emotionally distant from their partner. This can be followed by a discard phase, where the narcissist abruptly ends the relationship or withdraws emotionally.
- Inability to accept criticism: Any criticism, even constructive feedback, is often met with defensiveness or anger. Narcissists struggle to acknowledge their flaws or mistakes.
- Lack of reciprocity: Healthy relationships involve mutual give-and-take, but narcissists may not offer genuine emotional support or contribute equally to the relationship.
Not everyone who displays some of these behaviors is a full-blown narcissist, and relationships can be complex. If you suspect that you are in a relationship with a narcissist and it's causing distress, consider seeking support from mental health professionals or resources that specialize in relationships and narcissism.
What is the one question to identify a narcissist?
There isn't a single question that can definitively identify a narcissist, as narcissistic traits and behaviors can be complex and vary in intensity. However, asking a question related to empathy and the ability to consider others' feelings and needs can provide some insight into a person's narcissistic tendencies. For example:
"Can you tell me about a time when you've gone out of your way to understand and support someone else's feelings or needs?"
This question indirectly addresses the person's capacity for empathy and their willingness to prioritize others. A true narcissist might struggle to provide a genuine example or might downplay the significance of empathetic actions. Keep in mind that using just one question to assess someone's personality traits is a simplified approach and may not provide a complete picture. A comprehensive understanding of someone's behavior requires observation over time, recognizing patterns, and considering multiple aspects of their interactions and relationships.
Does a narcissist apologize?
Research shows that narcissists rarely apologize when wrong because they do may not have empathy for their victim. When a narcissist does apologize, it generally comes in an ulterior motive designed to manipulate or gain control over a person or situation. For example, they may offer conditional apologies, such as, “I am sorry if you are hurt,” which shifts the responsibility from their actions on to your feelings. They also may use an apology to avoid a negative consequence without feeling actual remorse. It is also possible that a narcissist may apologize shallowly or in an attempt to shift blame. Even when a narcissist offers a more genuine apology, it is possible that any changes will be short lived.
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