Can You Change Your Personality?

While some people may be satisfied with their personality, others might want to change characteristics they view as negative or improve ones they believe are beneficial. People may seek to change their personalities for various reasons, such as improving relationships, advancing in careers, or becoming more content with themselves. 

In the past, personality may have been seen as an immovable temperament or only possible to change when an individual is younger. However, more recent research could suggest otherwise. To answer the question “Can you change your personality?” individuals may start by exploring the concept of personality itself, as many theories of personality have been proposed throughout the years. 

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What is personality?

Extraversion

Individuals who score highly in the extraversion category, sometimes referred to as “extroversion,” can be adept at navigating social situations, valuing family life, and making friends. Those who score lower in this category, sometimes referred to as “introverts,” could prefer to be alone, avoiding social gatherings or events. Extraverted people often enjoy being around and talking with others, gaining energy from these situations, while introverted individuals may become fatigued after socializing. For example, in a work setting, extroverts might excel in roles requiring teamwork or public speaking, while introverts might prefer solitary work or one-on-one interactions. 

Agreeableness 

Those who score highly in agreeableness are often seen as trustworthy and kind people who are prone to caring about the needs of others and proficient in emotional stability and regulation. These individuals may work well in team settings and are willing to go out of their way to assist loved ones and colleagues. Contrarily, those with a low agreeableness score could be seen as unempathetic, manipulative, or self-centered. People in this category may be cruel to others and only work to achieve their own interests, which could make them untrustworthy or difficult to form relationships with. 

Conscientiousness

Conscientious people tend to be seen as disciplined and thoughtful, paying attention to details and planning for the future. People who score low in conscientiousness may struggle to finish tasks on time, partake in specific behaviors that improve life, attend scheduled appointments, or adhere to a specific structure. For example, conscientious people might maintain a clean living space or stick to an exercise regimen, while those with low conscientiousness might procrastinate or have difficulty meeting deadlines. This behavior could cause them to struggle in their academic and professional life and interpersonal relationships.

Openness

Open individuals can be creative, imaginative, and interested in various subjects. People who score highly in openness may be spontaneous and particularly adept at abstract thinking. They might enjoy traveling, exploring new hobbies, or engaging in creative projects. However, individuals who score low can resist trying new activities and resist change. Those who are less open might prefer routine and familiar environments, which can limit their experience and opportunities for growth. 

Neuroticism

Neurotic individuals may struggle to control their emotions, are easily irritated, or may be prone to substance use, anxiety, depression, or sadness. Individuals who score highly in neuroticism may not be particularly resilient to stress and could struggle to overcome certain challenges. For example, high neuroticism might impact stress management and emotional regulation, making it difficult to cope with everyday stressors. 

Those who score lower in neuroticism could be adept at handling stressful situations. These individuals may also be seen as more easy-going or stable, often with a better grasp on their emotions and temperament, which may contribute to overall well-being. 

Other personality theories 

Scoring high or low in some of these categories may significantly impact different areas of a person’s academic, professional, and personal life. As such, it could be beneficial to determine whether changing aspects of your personality is possible. However, the Big Five personality theory is only a theory, and not everyone relates to this model. Other personality theories include: 

• Psychodynamic theory (the Id, Ego, and Superego) 
• Self-actualization (Carl Rogers) 
• The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) 
• The Enneagram theory 
• Attachment theory by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth 

Personality tests and theories can help you learn more about yourself, but they are not the only way. Personality is complex, and some people may not relate to any of the above theories. 

Can you change your personality? 

While research may be mixed, some studies indicate that it may be possible to change your personality. For example, a 2019 study theorized that the long-held assumption that personality traits remain functionally unaltered may be incorrect. 

Researchers believe that, due to the potential benefits and consequences that some personality traits can have, it may be helpful to address the potential for policy changes to improve individuals’ welfare. During their study, they found that personality traits can shift if individuals are within a specific age range and willing to put significant effort into the process. These traits can be challenging to modify, and without dedicating substantial energy and time, it may not be possible. 

The optimal time to adjust traits may vary from person to person and what trait they are trying to target. For example, if an individual was hoping to work on conscientiousness or neuroticism, it could be better to attempt to do so during young adulthood. These and other transformations that may be more effective if the person is emotionally stable and believes that the change they are trying to make is possible. 

Further research indicates that personality may also evolve naturally over time. In one study, researchers reviewed changes in the Five Factor personality traits over time for 130,000 adults aged between 21 and 60. They found that while some characteristics, such as conscientiousness, may shift primarily through a person’s 20s, others could shift considerably later. For example, researchers believed that agreeableness primarily improved after 30 and continued to do so through a person's 60s. However, negative changes may also happen, with traits like openness declining over time. 

In attachment theory, which posits that each person has one of four attachment styles, studies show that attachment styles can change with effort, professional support, and education on this theory. Attachment can significantly affect someone’s behavior, so changing your attachment style may alter your personality. 

How can you change your personality?

Personality changes may occur as individuals age or naturally in response to events in their lives. However, intentionally changing one’s personality may be possible through significant focus and effort. Focus might involve considering why you want to modify your personality and what parts you intend to work on. Personality changes can also require a significant time investment. Because personality tends to stabilize as people age, these investments may be more substantial for individuals in late adulthood. 

The precise way to alter your personality may vary depending on what traits a person intends to shift and their current life situation. For example, getting out of one’s comfort zone and trying new activities or learning new skills may help one become more open, while volunteering or helping others could increase empathy. More focused approaches, such as therapy or counseling, may also be beneficial to explore. 

Can therapy help an individual change personality traits? 

According to the Society of Clinical Psychology, therapy can change an individual’s personality traits. The most effective type of therapy can vary from person to person. One example is cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). A CBT provider may help a person understand potentially harmful or nonconstructive thought patterns and beliefs that could contribute to unwanted personality traits. From there, they may learn ways to change these thought patterns, which could facilitate their desired personality shift. In addition, a CBT provider may be able to assist a person with other challenges in their life, which could be contributing to their personality-related dissatisfaction. 

Alternative support options 

The convenience and availability of in-person therapy may vary from person to person. Some individuals may lack health insurance, which could make it more difficult for them to find a mental health provider. Others may not have access to transportation that can allow them to reliably commute to in-person sessions or would prefer to use other forms of communication, such as phone calls, texting, and video chats. In these situations, online therapy through a platform like BetterHelp may be more accessible. 

Through an online platform, clients can be matched with a therapist, often within 48 hours of signing up. They can also choose between phone, video, or live chat sessions and access unique resources like journaling prompts, worksheets, and weekly support groups with unique themes. 

Research indicates that online therapy can be equally as effective as in-person therapy. In a 2022 meta-analysis and systematic review, researchers compared data from 931 patients who had received online or in-person therapy. Their review examined various outcomes, including symptom severity, working alliance, client satisfaction, function, and overall improvement. They found no significant difference between therapy delivered online and face-to-face, both immediately after therapy and during check-ins at three, six, and 12 months.