Effective Communication Skills: The Art Of Persuasion

Persuasion tends to be present in most, if not all, types of communication. In general, whenever you provide information to influence someone else’s beliefs, attitudes, or behaviors, you are being persuasive. Most people engage in persuasion daily in both their personal and professional lives, even if they’re unaware of it. There are key principles and strategies that can help you become a more persuasive communicator, such as reciprocity, scarcity, authority, and likeability. If you’re finding communication challenging, it may be helpful to speak with a licensed therapist through in-person or online therapy.

What is persuasion?

Persuasion can be defined as an attempt to change the beliefs, attitudes, emotions, or behaviors of another person or group of people. Persuasion is commonly used by lawyers, salespeople, politicians, advertisers, entrepreneurs, and anyone else who is trying to present information to drive a change in someone else. 

Effective persuasion may be more likely to occur when the persuader is perceived as knowledgeable, trustworthy, socially appealing, and likable. Persuasion is often considered an art form because it typically relies on a focused effort to appeal to human emotions and beliefs. 

The principles of persuasion

Persuasion can be thought of as compelling others to do something that benefits both parties. Effective approaches to persuasion may vary based on many factors, including others’ perceptions, timing, and context. It can take a few years or a lifetime to master the art of persuasion, but the following six principles can increase your ability to persuade others by leveraging social norms.

1. Reciprocity 

People are generally more inclined to give back when others give to them. For example, if a customer service agent goes the extra mile to ensure their customer’s needs are met, the customer may be more likely to spend money based on a desire to reciprocate the effort. Through the act of giving, you can leverage your position to ask for more in return.

2. Scarcity

Limited resources can motivate people to act quickly. For example, by saying that someone else is interested in the house you’re considering buying, a realtor may persuade you to make an offer right away, and it may be a higher offer than you were initially considering. 

3. Authority 

Expertise tends to be valuable in effective persuasion. Thus, demonstrating knowledge and expertise in the subject matter at hand can increase credibility. For example, a doctor who takes the time to educate their patients on a recommended treatment is usually more likely to persuade them to pursue that treatment option. 

4. Commitment and consistency

Consistency normally refers to the dependability of values, beliefs, and self-presentation. Writing a commitment down may make it more binding. For example, when someone posts on social media that they will not drink alcohol for the month of January, they might be more likely to follow through with their commitment. 

5. Consensus 

Testimonials, reviews, and value attributed by others can be persuasive. Without information to the contrary, people may follow the actions and recommendations of others. This is often referred to as social proof. Businesses frequently highlight reviews and testimonials for their products to leverage social proof. 

6. Likeability

In general, people are more likely to trust and value those who like them. Sincere compliments, appealing to commonalities, and dressing in a way that demonstrates safety and belonging can be persuasive. 

Persuasion, manipulation, and coercion: What’s the difference?

Some people worry that persuasion may be manipulative or harmful. However, persuasion, manipulation, and coercion may all have different definitions.

• Persuasion: The point of persuasion is generally to present information that might influence others. Individuals being persuaded usually have the free choice to change or not. For example, a doctor might provide information on the health benefits of losing weight to persuade someone to change their diet, but ultimately, the choice belongs to the patient. 
• Manipulation: The APA defines manipulation as “behavior designed to exploit, control, or otherwise influence others to one's advantage.”
• Coercion: Coercion and deception usually remove individual choice. For example, an insurance provider could refuse to provide health benefits unless someone loses weight. 

While coercion is almost always unethical, persuasion is typically considered ethical. Importantly, persuasion can become unethical when it is used at the expense of others or for personal benefit without others’ knowledge. 

Examples of persuasion

Persuasion is frequently used when someone wants to convince someone else to make a change. Here are examples of persuasion that you’ve likely encountered: 

• A teenager makes the argument to their parents that they should be given a cell phone because it lets them stay in contact when they’re not together. 
• You explain why you’re the most valuable job candidate to a potential employer. 
• A politician tells a story about a homeless child to persuade citizens to vote in favor of funding a housing initiative. 
• A car salesperson points to manufacturer information to convince a potential buyer that a vehicle is reliable. 

How to persuade people more effectively

The following tips can help you become more persuasive in your professional and personal life.

Become an active, empathetic listener

Let the other person talk, interrupting only to summarize their statements, ask questions, and ensure you’re not making assumptions or misinterpreting what they’re saying. By listening intently, you can demonstrate that you understand them and their needs. 

If you’re married or in a relationship, active listening can help you focus on what the other person is saying, rather than thinking about your response, interrupting, or placing blame. Paraphrasing what they’re saying, asking questions, and using nonverbal communication (e.g., nodding along with them, making eye contact, and leaning toward them) can de-escalate conflict and reduce the risk of becoming defensive or accusatory. When you use active listening, your partner may be more likely to listen to your perspective, too. 

Lead with your conclusion

According to the co-founder of LinkedIn, Rein Hoffman, opening with a statement that summarizes your structured argument can preface your evidence and make your argument clearer. After stating your thesis, you can make a compelling case based on evidence. 

Make it a win-win

By focusing on the benefits for everyone, you can reduce defensiveness and skepticism. If both parties have conflicting interests, you can build trust by being upfront and acknowledging this dynamic immediately. 

Be consistent 

While viewpoints and perspectives may change, you can build a reputation of consistency and reliability by maintaining the same underlying values and goals.

Tell a story

Storytelling can make your perspective more vivid, passionate, and convincing. Utilizing facts in a narrative-based approach can clearly showcase the benefits of your perspective. 

Build social proof

Before reaching out to people who may be less convinced to make a change, consider first targeting those with expertise or authority. This could induce both the authority and consensus principles and further persuade others to change. 

Persuasion usually requires good communication

Effective persuasion tends to be rooted in strong communication skills. It may require seeing someone else’s perspective, addressing their needs and concerns, and offering clear, simple solutions. The following techniques can improve overall communication: 

• Emphasize “I” language: “I” statements can emphasize how you’re feeling, rather than accusing someone else of doing something wrong. Additionally, these statements may be a concise and clear way to communicate how you’re feeling. For example, instead of saying, “You always come home late,” you could say, “I feel stressed when you don’t tell me that you’ll be coming home late.”
• Paraphrase: Use your own words to repeat back what the speaker is saying. You can phrase it as a question, such as “What I’m hearing you say is ____. Is that correct?"
• Ask questions: Open-ended questions generally allow the speaker to elaborate and clarify information. Consider asking questions like, “What do you mean when you say ____?”

Improving communication in therapy

While using “I” language, paraphrasing, and asking questions can improve communication skills, it can sometimes be helpful to speak with a professional for more support and guidance. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can be defined as a type of talk therapy that often improves unhealthy communication. This may include communication characterized by avoidance, defensiveness, criticism, or contempt, for example. 

Benefits of online therapy

People who find it difficult to communicate with others often experience high levels of stress, which can make keeping appointments for in-person therapy sessions challenging. Online CBT, which is available through platforms like BetterHelp, typically enables the use of in-app messaging, so individuals can conveniently reach out to therapists whenever communication challenges arise, and they will respond when they can. Remote therapy may also help people feel more at ease discussing their problems since it can be accessed from the comfort of home. 

Effectiveness of online therapy

Internet-based mental health care has generally been proven effective through scholarly research. While more research may be needed on the efficacy of online therapy for improving communication and persuasion skills, an analysis of 373 peer-reviewed articles found that online CBT can effectively address symptoms of anxiety and depression while improving quality of life. Other forms of web-based therapy can be used to treat a host of mental health challenges and conditions. 

Takeaway

Persuasion can be thought of as the art of compelling others to change their opinions, attitudes, beliefs, or behaviors by providing information. Unlike coercion or manipulation, persuasion typically does not alter the ability of others to make decisions freely and independently. Amongst other things, effective persuasion usually relies on active listening, likeability, commonalities, reciprocity, and social proof. Becoming a more persuasive person often requires becoming a better communicator. Online or in-person cognitive behavioral therapy can improve communication skills, quality of life, and mental health, which may also improve persuasiveness.