What Is A “Glass Half Empty” Person?

Picture a glass that is only midway filled with water. Are you likely to describe that glass as half empty or half full? This simple test is unlikely to tell the whole story of whether you fall into the category of an optimist, or someone who sees good and expects positive outcomes, or a pessimist, someone who sees bad and expects negative outcomes. However, the phrase has become a familiar societal shorthand method of describing the two mindsets.

If you are a “glass half full” person, you may encounter difficulties engaging with people with a more negative worldview. There are ways to assist you in dealing with pessimistic attitudes in your relationships, whether that relationship is with a coworker, a partner, a friend, or even a casual acquaintance. This article discusses the different methods you may have at your disposal to cope with a glass-half-empty type of person. 

Methods of coping with a glass-half-empty type of person

Negativity can sometimes feel contagious, so it can be important to reflect on what relationships in your life may be contributing to you experiencing worse expectations about the future or about yourself. If you are constantly interacting with a person who is negatively influencing your perceptions, there are some steps you can take to make the relationship healthier for both of you.  

General advice for interacting with people with a pessimistic outlook

Most people do not adopt a pessimistic view 100% of the time. Psychologists have used the idea of a “spectrum” to categorize people who lean towards optimism and those who prefer pessimism. There may be situations where a pessimistic person acts more hopeful, and if you can keep track of those situations, it may positively impact your interactions with them. The following tips can help prepare you for interactions with people who are pessimistic.

Practice compassion

Other things may be going on in the person’s life, including mental health concerns, a history of trauma, financial woes, or issues with their family or other close relationships. Some pessimists may tend to prioritize negative thoughts because of a history of negative experiences. Showing a little compassion and empathy towards them can encourage understanding and support. 

Actively listen

Working to actively listen to the person can help with building trust. Active listening involves not only maintaining eye contact and paraphrasing, but also a presence without bias and an open mind. In giving them the opportunity to vent their negativity, you may find that they are able to turn things around for themselves and find the silver lining. 

Implement the golden rule

Treating others the way you would want to be treated is often referred to as the Golden Rule. You might consider how you are talking to the person, particularly if you are frustrated with their negativity. Your approach may be affecting their interactions with you, especially if they are sensitive to non-verbal cues. Adjust your facial expressions, posture, gestures, and tone of voice accordingly to be as respectful as possible.

Check your attitude

Consider examining your own attitude before you interact with someone who tends toward pessimism. Are you approaching the situation negatively? You might try to avoid assuming that the conversation will automatically be a negative experience. Consider keeping an open mind and approach the interaction with a mindset of optimism, or at least basic curiosity (“I wonder how this will go?”). 

Address the pessimism

You might help the person become more aware of their negative mindset (many pessimists may not think of themselves as pessimists, but rather as realists, or maybe even optimists). Even if a person knows that they default to a pessimistic attitude, they may not realize the impact their negativity is having on other people around them. It can be an awkward subject to bring up, but it can sometimes be better to name a problem rather than to ignore it, and there could be ways of discussing your concerns with another person that are sensitive, thoughtful, and unlikely to provoke further conflict.

Problem solve

If the person complains about something, consider asking them why they are feeling that way – essentially, request that they come up with hard evidence for their complaint. For example, if they are complaining that they have been having a difficult time finding a new job, ask where they have been looking. 

Be a positive role model 

Being a positive and generous role model can be beneficial for multiple people in your life, not just pessimistic people. You might pivot to the positive in your conversations with the person, or at least move away from the negative. Try not to take the person’s behavior personally or be dismissive of the person’s complaints, but don’t accept everything they say at face value either.  

Reflect

Consider taking time to reflect on interactions with the person after they happen. This might look like asking yourself what worked well, what wasn’t as effective, and what can potentially be improved in the future. It is likely that the person is not intentionally trying to ruin your mood or your day. 

Advice for getting along with pessimistic coworkers

Working with someone who is consistently negative can impact your own ability to enjoy your job and overall productivity. This negativity can affect many areas of the workplace, including detracting from motivation, reducing job satisfaction, and interrupting the flow of concentration on important tasks or projects. Read further to discover strategies that may help you not only manage pessimistic coworkers, but also improve the workplace environment and foster comradery. 

Change the environment

If you usually have meetings with your coworker in one of your offices, try meeting up at a coffee shop instead. Shaking up the setting can sometimes have a net positive impact on your conversations.

Encourage solutions

If the person is consistently complaining in work meetings, you might ask them to come up with a solution every time they complain about something. This practice could be beneficial in stimulating problem-solving amongst other members of your team as well! 

Recognize strengths

Consider thanking the person for their contributions to the workplace, even if they seem small, like cleaning up after a meeting. Sometimes a person is pessimistic at work specifically because they perceive that they are not properly appreciated or valued.

Create a calm atmosphere

If you have significant authority at your job, you might create a culture of self-care within your workplace. Some studies suggest that people with pessimistic attitudes may have more difficulty relaxing in a work environment, so intentionally cultivating a low-pressure workplace that prioritizes employee well-being over productivity may help pessimistic coworkers move away from their negative attitudes. 

Advice for being in a relationship with a pessimistic partner

If you are in a relationship with someone who is pessimistic, you may not know how to handle the negativity or communicate with your partner effectively. Your partner may assume the worst is going to happen and avoid resolving conflict because of an underlying fear that the relationship will end. When you are met with negativity, it may be difficult for you to maintain a positive attitude, which could in turn perpetuate problems that need to be addressed. The advice that follows can help you develop new strategies to cope with a pessimistic partner. 

Meet negative with positive

Consider resisting the temptation to compete with your partner in the “who has it worse” game. Even optimistic people tend to be sucked into the urge to out-complain another person, especially if the other person complains about something consistently. For example, if your partner is always complaining about their job, you may feel compelled to describe all the ways your job is even worse than theirs, but this behavior can prompt a cycle of never-ending negativity that is often best avoided. 

Resist engaging negativity

You might try not to engage excessively with your partner’s negative attitude. Negativity can be self-perpetuating: if someone is regularly complaining about a situation, that can subconsciously trigger them to start paying more attention to the negative aspects of said situation so they will continue to have something about which to complain. 

Utilize the three-strike rule

You might handle complaints by establishing a rule with your partner that each of you (not just the pessimistic person in the relationship) is allowed to complain about something three times. After the third complaint, you must do something to address the problem – even if the only thing you realistically can do is let the problem go. 

Finding support for getting along with a negative person

Figuring out the most effective means of coping with a relationship with someone negative can be difficult, especially if you value the relationship and would like it to improve. In these situations, it may be beneficial to speak with a licensed therapist. 

If someone else’s negativity has already had a significant impact on you, you may be a little skeptical about the efficacy of therapy. Online therapy could be a beneficial alternative to traditional in-person therapy if you that is your perception. Because online therapy can be administered from the comfort of your own home, it may seem a little easier to open up and be vulnerable with your therapist, even if you have your doubts about the therapy changing anything for you. 

Scientific research has demonstrated that online therapy may be just as effective as in-person therapy when addressing a range of mental health conditions and life concerns. For example, a current study researched the efficacy of videoconferencing in couples seeking therapy. The study authors found that online therapy is more convenient for those who are hesitant about engaging in therapy in-person because they are in a perceived safe space. The study participants reported greater levels of comfort and feelings of control and agency in interactions with an online therapist. If you are hoping to find support in navigating relationships with pessimistic people, online therapy could be beneficial for you.