What Is A Problematic Fear And How Do You Deal With It?

Medically reviewed by Karen Foster, LPC
Updated October 22, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Experiencing fear is a normal part of being human. However, fear can become problematic when it causes such a high amount of anxiety that it influences your behavior and interferes with your daily living. Some fears, like fear of sexual intimacy after sexual trauma, are justifiable. However, other fears, like an intense fear of flying for no apparent reason, might be irrational. Whether your fear is justified or not, if it negatively impacts how you live your life, you may need treatment to move past it. 

If you are experiencing trauma, support is available. Please see our Get Help Now page for more resources.

If you need support in dealing with a problematic fear, there are different options you may consider pursuing.

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Are irrational fears influencing your daily decisions?

Understanding fear

Not all fear is negative. In fact, research confirms that fear is a natural biological phenomenon designed to keep individuals safe and healthy. For example, a fear of the dark may cause you to travel with a companion when enjoying a night out, which may help keep you from harm if you encounter someone dangerous. In this case, fear is beneficial because it leads you to take precautions to avoid harm.

Fears may be innate, meaning they are ingrained in you from birth, or they may be learned based on your personal life history. For instance, someone bitten by a dog as a child may grow up to fear dogs (a learned fear), while many people are ancestrally afraid of snakes without ever having a negative incident related to them (an innate fear).

Both innate and learned fears are a natural part of the human experience, and on their own, these fears aren’t problematic. However, when fears become so intense that they trigger panic attacks, even without a stimulus present, they may start to control your daily life. Fears that limit your everyday behavior may become problematic and require treatment. 

Additionally, some people may develop a phobia, which is an anxiety disorder that includes extremely intense or irrational fears accompanied by physical or emotional symptoms. Some specific phobias are arachnophobia (fear of spiders) and acrophobia (fear of heights). Phobias often need exposure therapy and other types of treatment options to be overcome. 

How to recognize when fear is problematic

Personal fears or phobias with little impact on your daily activities may not require intervention. For instance, a person may have a fear of flying but never have a reason to get on a plane. However, if you find yourself avoiding activities, objects, or situations because of a fear you have or if your fear makes daily living uncomfortable, it may be time to seek professional help. Here are some signs you should consider seeking help for your fears:

  • You feel intense panic or anxiety when confronted with your fear or even when thinking about it

  • You feel your fear is irrational or too extreme

  • You avoid doing things or going places because of your fear

  • Your daily routines are affected by your fear because you must take action to avoid triggering your fear

  • Your fear has lasted for six months or more

If you’re living with a fear that impacts your daily life, treatment is available to help you manage the feelings of anxiety that can often come along with it. There are several different treatment options to consider, and some methods may work more effectively for you than others. Determining what works for you may take some time, but with focus and perseverance, you can overcome problematic fears and live a life free from the weight of anxiety.

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How to control a problematic fear

Understanding the importance of overcoming your fear isn’t enough to dispel it. Try these steps to take control of a problematic fear:

  • Name your fear. What is it you are afraid of, and why? Where did your fear originate from, and how long have you felt this way? Exploring your fears may help you to understand a possible origin, such as a negative experience you had in the past.

  • Visualize the benefits of overcoming it. If your fear is holding you back in life, try and imagine how your life could change for the better if you were able to overcome it. Would controlling your fear allow you to engage more socially with friends, travel more, or build new relationships? Understanding the benefits of overcoming your fear may increase your motivation to get treatment.

  • Choose a treatment method. You don’t have to overcome your fears alone. There are proven treatments available to help people like you reduce your fears and phobias, including cognitive behavioral therapy, prescriptions, and self-help methods like avoiding caffeine and exercising regularly. 

  • Practice forgiveness and resilience. Even after treatment, you may experience some instances of fear or anxiety related to your original trigger. Instead of avoiding your phobia, continue to practice overcoming it. Over time, your fear may no longer elicit as strong a reaction as it previously did. Having the resilience to forgive yourself when setbacks occur can help you avoid falling back into old patterns. No one recovers all at once, and healing isn’t linear, so avoid getting discouraged or giving up.

The benefits of conquering your fears

People limited by extreme or irrational fears may not even realize how their fear has been holding them back. Others know what their fears are but find it easier to hide behind them instead of learning to manage and overcome them. The problem with some fears is that they can start to dictate your behavior if you are unable to control them. 

Many fears and phobias center around items or situations that are of relatively little threat to the individual. For instance, some people are afraid of seeing blood. But seeing blood, including your own, is a normal part of being human and not inherently dangerous. If someone began to refuse to attend doctor’s appointments or go to the hospital when ill out of fear they might need to get their blood drawn, this fear could place them in much greater danger than the original fear itself. Conquering your fears may allow you to maintain more positive health and well-being.

When you feel afraid or anxious, your body’s sympathetic nervous system becomes activated. The sympathetic nervous system is commonly known as your body’s “fight or flight” response. People who experience extreme levels of anxiety or frequent, intense fear may be constantly in fight or flight mode. This may significantly impact their health by raising their blood pressure and heart rate and making it difficult to sleep or concentrate.

Beyond the physical drawbacks of living with phobias and fears, there are social and emotional challenges as well. Some fears may prohibit you from thriving, making friends, or developing as an individual. For instance, someone who is extremely claustrophobic may limit themselves to living on the first floor of a building, so they never have to enter an elevator. A person extremely afraid of leaving the house may only be able to work from home instead of expanding their career possibilities to in-person options.  

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Are irrational fears influencing your daily decisions?

Online therapy with BetterHelp

Some people may be able to manage their fears with stress reduction techniques like getting adequate sleep each night and avoiding stimulants like caffeine. However, others may desire or need additional support to help them overcome a problematic fear. If you’re struggling with a fear you can’t seem to get control of, online therapy through BetterHelp may allow you to move past it with greater ease.

Online therapy can be a helpful option for people living with anxiety disorders that include problematic fears or phobias because it minimizes many fear-inducing barriers related to seeking therapeutic treatment. With online therapy, individuals don’t need to worry about traveling to an appointment, being late, or getting lost since therapy is attainable from the comfort of home. If someone has a social phobia where they fear meeting strangers or interacting with others socially, online therapy can also help. Since online therapy sessions can occur over video chats, phone calls, or even online chats, sessions may be customized to meet the comfort level of the client.

The effectiveness of online therapy

Online therapy can be a viable treatment for a variety of mental health conditions, including phobias. In one study, researchers assessed the efficacy of an internet-based intervention for managing a phobia of flying. The online intervention was significantly effective, with participants experiencing lower levels of anxiety, fear, and avoidance by the end of treatment. These results were maintained at a follow-up. 

Takeaway

Everyone experiences some degree of fear of certain things. However, if your fear is holding you back from living a full life, you may be dealing with a problematic fear. In this case, you can benefit from targeted treatment designed to manage the symptoms that come along with extreme fears and phobias. Online therapy can be an effective option for addressing the underlying cause of your fear. Over time, by working with a therapist specialized in fear, you may be able to overcome what has been standing in your way.

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It is possible to overcome phobias
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