Psychology Marriage Counseling: Is It The Right Choice For My Relationship?

No intimate relationship is perfect, and many married couples experience challenges at some point. If you and your partner have concerns about your communication skills, trust, intimacy, or another aspect of your marriage, you may want to consider marriage counseling. Marriage counseling can involve various methods based on several different psychological and relationship theories. While marriage counseling cannot be guaranteed to prevent outcomes such as separation or divorce, research demonstrates that it can make a significant difference in marital satisfaction levels. One study found that over 70% of couples who participated in couples counseling described it as beneficial for their relationship.

Whether you and your spouse are experiencing challenges regarding finances, life transitions, or raising children, it may be helpful to seek therapy from someone who practices marriage and family therapy. Learning more about the different psychological theories behind marriage counseling may also be beneficial. Keep reading if you’re interested in learning how marriage counseling could be instrumental in strengthening and preserving your union. 

Methods of psychology marriage counseling

When choosing to attend marriage counseling, there are several methods a marriage and family therapist may utilize to offer support and guidance. Depending on the needs of you and your spouse, the issues you’re facing, and what your goals are, your therapist may employ one of the following techniques to help: 

• Assertive communication, in which each partner learns how to identify and advocate for their own needs as well as listen to and respect their partner’s needs
• Finding ways to continually demonstrate your love and affection for your partner
• Developing trust between the two of you
• Identifying and communicating dreams, aspirations, visions, and hopes
• Honing problem-solving skills
• Finding a sense of perspective when addressing problems
• Realizing which behaviors may be detracting from relationship satisfaction
• Building a belief in commitment and trusting that while every relationship encounters road bumps, reconciliation is possible

Emotionally focused therapy

Emotionally focused therapy, which differs from the similarly named emotion-focused therapy, is one of the most successful methods of couples therapy. It is based on Gestalt psychology theory and was specifically developed for use in marriage counseling by psychologist and couples therapist Dr. Susan Johnson. Although it was designed for marriage counseling, you don’t have to be married to reap the potential benefits of this method.

1. Stabilization: In the stabilization step, the therapist and couple work together to identify a conflict or conflict pattern in their relationship. Each partner processes and discusses their emotions related to the conflict, which can help both partners start to reframe the conflict and understand how the other person experiences it.
2. Bonding: In bonding, the couple uses their enhanced understanding of the emotions behind a specific conflict to effectively express their needs and wants to their partner. By being open and vulnerable, they may find a way to address the conflict that honors the emotions behind it.
3. Consolidation: During the final stage of consolidation, the therapist teaches the couple how to take their emotional understanding of the conflict to develop a new solution to the concern. The couple also learns how to apply a similar solution to other conflicts in their relationship. 

Narrative therapy

Narrative therapy is a therapeutic technique originally developed for use in processing conflict in family therapy situations, but it has also been found to be effective in marital therapy. With narrative therapy, the therapist will ask you and your partner to choose a specific conflict you have been experiencing and then talk about that conflict in the form of storytelling. 

By separating yourselves from the conflict in this manner, you and your partner may both gain some perspective related to the conflict. You may start to see the conflict as one small story in the overarching narrative of your marriage and realize that, while it may feel overwhelming when you are experiencing it, conflict is not the crux of your marital story so far. Moreover, you may decide that it does not need to be the defining feature of the story that you two can continue to write together.

Finding support for marital problems

Finding a time when both you and your spouse are available to attend an in-person marriage therapy appointment can be complicated, particularly if you have different work schedules or are in a long-distance relationship. Online therapy may be a helpful option in these circumstances. You can attend couples therapy through an online therapy platform like Regain. With online couples therapy, you can address the challenges in your relationship and work with a therapist to come up with potential solutions—all without ever needing to leave your home. 

Efficacy of online couples counseling