What Is Self-Psychology?

Self-psychology is a theory in the field of psychoanalysis that centers around empathy, growth, and the healthy development of the individual. It can also be used as a form of therapy. In many cases, patients who undergo this form of treatment are encouraged to think about how past experiences may have led up to their current being. Exploring oneself using the theory of self-psychology can allow someone to learn more about themselves and find ways to make improvements where they’d like to.

Self-psychology: The prioritization and betterment of self

As the name implies, self-psychology is just that— the psychology of the self.

For example, a child who is constantly belittled by their relatives, peers, or other associates may grow up to be an uncertain adult who finds themselves striving to gain the favor of others. Conversely, a young person who is propped up and encouraged as they grow up is likelier to become a self-assured and confident adult.

Self-objects

In the realm of self-psychology, self-objects are regarded as the crutches upon which people rely when they feel incapable of fulfilling their own needs. Someone who lacks confidence in themselves may rely upon significant others or friends to give them those boosts. These people become self-objects to the individual dealing with uncertainty and temporarily provide them with some semblance of belonging and significance.

However, one of the ultimate aims of self-psychology is to help patients become self-reliant and able to internalize their self-objects. Instead of relying on significant others or friends to provide them with belonging or significance, one should aim to view their character, qualities, or abilities as self-objects. Each of the things above exists within the self and is not conditional upon external circumstances or acceptance.

Transference

Like self-objects, transference is a significant part of self-psychology. Transference pertains to the transfer of childhood feelings or needs to another person or thing. This can take place in three different forms: mirroring, idealizing, and alter ego/twinship.

Mirroring involves assessing the outside responses of other individuals as a confirmation of self. For example, if a relative congratulates an individual on their lifestyle or choices, that person can internalize the positive reinforcement as a type of self-worth or value. 

As one might gather from the preceding description, mirroring can be unhealthy. The inner sense of self should never be wholly reliant upon what others say or feel, according to self-psychology. There will always be people in this world who disapprove of what someone is doing. However, that does not necessarily mean that one is in the wrong or any less valuable or deserving of self-esteem.

Dangers of idealizing

The equally dangerous doppelganger of mirroring comes in the form of idealizing. Idealizing is a form of transference that takes place when one relies upon another person or group of people to affirm them or prop them up. Someone who is not fully confident in themselves may idealize a friend and take that friend's words and opinions at face value. If they are having a tough time, they may turn to that friend for comfort. If they are struggling with something else, such as financial issues, a breakup, or some other upsetting occurrence, that singular friend may serve as their confidant.

There is nothing wrong with friendship or closeness, but idealizing can be dangerous. It creates an inherent imbalance of power which opens the door to abuse and other issues. Self-psychology exists for the sake of helping one reach the point at which they do not have to idealize another individual to affirm who they are or to overcome certain hurdles that life may present.

Alter ego/twinship is another manifestation of transference, although this one is not as outwardly insidious as mirroring or idealizing. In a nutshell, alter ego/twinship pertains to the desire to feel like others. Now, this is not inherently adverse, but this type of transference can become problematic after a certain period.

Part of the healthy development of self includes learning about self. This can only be achieved by branching out, having new experiences, and relying upon oneself, at least to a certain extent. When someone is unhealthily dependent upon twinship, they rob themselves of the ability to develop advantageous traits, such as independence, confidence, and self-assurance. 

One of the biggest goals of self-psychology is to help patients develop a healthy, robust sense of self so that they are no longer reliant upon self-objects and methods of transference to feel whole.

Healthy narcissism and self psychology

Although healthy narcissism contributes to the innate growth and development of children, the term narcissism can carry negative connotations. The difference between narcissism and healthy narcissism comes in the form of levels and degrees. A healthy degree of narcissism typically engenders resilience, confidence, and the ability to rise above challenges and frustrations that come along with life.

Studies of self-psychology have shown that narcissism is often caused by parents' lack of ability to be there for their children and serve as healthy support systems as the child grows into an adult. This does not necessarily mean that every child of "unavailable" parents or guardians will develop narcissism, but it has the potential to serve as a hindrance later in life. Some people can rise above it, while others struggle. The presence of self-psychology exists largely to help individuals who are having a difficult time in this arena.

Self-psychology has played a major role in the public acknowledgment of the distinction between healthy narcissism and narcissism. Certain traits associated with narcissism can be positive and helpful in moderation, although a narcissistic personality can be harmful.

The importance of self

Self-psychology centers around the importance of self because that is what determines one's health, well-being, relationships, and other aspects of life. Society tends to place a significant amount of weight on external factors and circumstances; however, in most cases, external things can be changed, influenced, or moved by oneself.

The inner essence of self is important because it determines what we accept in life, how we treat other people, and what we attract into our lives. In other words, you often attract what you are. Someone who is strong, confident, and able to function both with others and on their own is more likely to attract positive outcomes and make decisions that generate favorable circumstances. Conversely, someone who struggles with their sense of self and self-worth is likelier to make decisions that are destructive and attract harmful individuals and influences into their lives.

Online counseling with BetterHelp

If you feel as though you are struggling to develop a strong, healthy sense of self, it may be beneficial to connect with a professional. At BetterHelp, an online counseling platform, you can speak with a therapist from your home or wherever you feel most comfortable. We’re all unique individuals, and you may have specific preferences or needs when it comes to your therapeutic experience. You can choose to talk to your therapist through video calls, phone calls, or in-app messaging. You can also pick a therapist who specializes in a certain area and connect at a time that works for you and your busy schedule. 

The efficacy of online counseling 

Online counseling may allow you to receive more personalized care for your mental health without taking away its efficacy. In a review of 17 different studies, researchers found that online-based therapy was just as effective as face-to-face interventions. In some measures, it was even more efficacious, reducing symptoms of depression with greater success than traditional interventions.