Avoidance Of Emotional Intimacy Due To PTSD
Emotional intimacy is typically a cornerstone of healthy relationships of all kinds, including romantic connections. Without this type of intimacy, it can be difficult for all parties in a relationship to feel safe and connected and for their relationship to grow. While there are many reasons why people in a romantic relationship might struggle with emotional intimacy, one of the potential causes is intimacy avoidance due to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). This article aims to define intimacy avoidance in PTSD and to explore treatment options for this and other symptoms of the condition.
What is PTSD?
PTSD is a mental health disorder that arises as the result of an individual experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event. This disorder can develop at any age and can be caused by many different types of stressful and life-changing events.
Combat veterans and sexual trauma survivors are often at risk of developing PTSD, and those who have experienced abuse from family members, romantic partners, or peers at school or work may be as well. Those who survive other types of life-threatening experiences—such as a violent assault, war, a natural disaster, or a serious car accident—could also develop this mental health condition.
If you are experiencing trauma, support is available. Please see our Get Help Now page for more resources.
If you or a loved one is experiencing abuse, contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Support is available 24/7.
PTSD symptoms
The symptoms of PTSD can vary somewhat from person to person, but they typically fall into four categories:
- Reexperiencing, such as flashbacks to or nightmares about the traumatic event
- Hyperarousal, such as being easily startled, having trouble sleeping, and showing irritability or having angry outbursts
- Mood and cognition changes, such as feelings of shame or guilt, lack of interest in activities once enjoyed, negative thought patterns, and social withdrawal
- Avoidance behaviors, such as avoiding reminders of or conversations about the event or trying to avoid emotions and emotional intimacy altogether
What causes intimacy avoidance in PTSD?
Intimacy avoidance can fall under the category of avoidance symptoms, sometimes referred to as the “avoidance cluster.” These symptoms may arise when the individual tries to keep traumatic memories from being at the forefront of their minds by avoiding triggers. They might try to emotionally “block” recollections of or emotions related to the experiences that traumatized them in an attempt to avoid panic attacks, psychosis, or other severe potential symptoms of PTSD.
While avoiding reminders of trauma may help an individual with PTSD prevent themselves from feeling triggered, it often results in them avoiding their emotions altogether. This can exacerbate symptoms of PTSD, create additional complications, or even cause the development of PTSD in those who have experienced trauma but haven’t yet shown signs of this condition.
Effects of repressing feelings
Repressing emotions can lead to a variety of negative health effects in the long term, including increased pain levels, elevated risk of cancer and cardiovascular problems, and an increased likelihood of depression and anxiety.
Fear and avoidance of emotional intimacy due to PTSD
If you are experiencing PTSD or are the romantic partner of someone with this condition, you may be able to recognize some of the signs of emotional avoidance. These may include things like:
- Emotional numbness, or emotions and reactions to experiences being dulled, delayed, or nonexistent
- Emotional distancing from friends, family, and/or romantic partners
- Chronic worry or stress
- Lack of interest in things one enjoyed, such as hobbies or physical intimacy
- Nervousness and anxiety
Additional symptoms of PTSD may exacerbate or coexist with signs of emotional avoidance as well, such as:
- Difficulty sleeping
- Irritability
- Flashbacks to traumatic events
- Anger issues
- Poor impulse control
- Engaging in unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as substance misuse
If you are struggling with substance use, contact the SAMHSA National Helpline at (800) 662-4357 to receive support and resources. Support is available 24/7.
Emotionally avoidant behaviors can cause individuals to lose interest in establishing or deepening emotional and/or physical intimacy with their romantic partner(s). They can also decrease or entirely eliminate one’s capacity for emotional availability and/or sexual desire. Getting treatment for PTSD may help an individual manage these symptoms to improve their well-being and the health of their relationships.
Mental health services for PTSD treatment
Treatment for PTSD typically consists of some form of therapy, sometimes in combination with medication. Talk therapy in particular may help those with PTSD regain their ability to become aware of and process their emotions. It may also support them in learning to manage other PTSD symptoms, develop healthy coping mechanisms, and improve their mental health and relationships overall.
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is one type of talk therapy that’s commonly used for those with PTSD, and it can be an effective way to treat symptoms like intimacy avoidance. Its core aim is to help the individual learn to recognize and then shift distorted thoughts that may be contributing to negative feelings and various symptoms. Another type, known as acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), could also be helpful, as it’s designed to directly address avoidant behaviors and help individuals experience their full range of emotions.
Online therapy for coping with PTSD
While therapy can be an important component of treatment for those living with PTSD, some people may find it difficult to speak about their trauma or their symptoms with a therapist face to face—particularly if they’re experiencing signs of emotional avoidance. It’s an example of a situation in which online therapy can represent a more comfortable alternative. It allows individuals to meet with a licensed therapist remotely via phone, video call, and/or in-app messaging from wherever they feel comfortable, as long as they have an internet connection. Research suggests that virtual CBT in particular can be as effective as in-person CBT for those with PTSD.
Takeaway
Is emotional avoidance a symptom of PTSD?
Yes, emotional avoidance can be a symptom of PTSD. It occurs when people avoid thoughts and feelings about the traumatizing event. For example, someone who has experienced physical violence or childhood abuse may try to distance themself from fear, or a combat Veteran may try to distance themselves from sadness.
With emotional avoidance, people often feel emotionally numb, which can lead to difficulty with intimate relationships. Those with PTSD may try to avoid any type of emotion to avoid distressing memories. This emotional numbing can affect relationship dynamics, causing someone to avoid emotional or physical intimacy with their romantic partner.
How can you overcome avoidance of emotional intimacy due to PTSD?
Psychotherapy or talk therapy can be an effective way for someone with PTSD to overcome emotional intimacy. According to the American Psychiatric Association, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is very effective at treating PTSD. This type of professional therapy can help people with PTSD learn how to recognize distorted thoughts and unhealthy behaviors that may contribute to their symptoms.
How can a mental health professional help me get over my fear of intimacy?
Working with a mental health professional can help you work through a fear of intimacy in many ways. Therapy can provide a safe space where intimate partners can have conflict discussions to work through disagreements, talk about relationship satisfaction, and learn more about what each partner needs during intimate moments.
People who have relationship problems related to their traumatic experiences may benefit from therapy with their partner and individual trauma-focused therapy. This may help them work through past events and improve their emotional well-being while also learning how to maintain relationships.
How does PTSD affect your feelings towards other people?
People with PTSD may have trouble with friends, family, and romantic relationships. The increased fear and anxiety of PTSD can impact a person's ability to trust and get close to other people.
According to the National Center for PTSD, people with PTSD may feel numb and distant from others with less interest in social activities or physical intimacy. They may be anxious, worried, or irritable and come across as demanding. These feelings can significantly impact the close relationships in a person's life.
Can trauma stop you from feeling love?
Trauma may not stop someone from feeling love, but it can impact how capable someone is of expressing that love and receiving love from others. In the weeks and months following a traumatic event, survivors may be angry or tense, and they may withdraw from relationships. Over time, many trauma survivors can resume their previous level of closeness in their relationships. However, people who go on to develop PTSD may have lasting relationship problems.
What are healthy coping strategies for managing PTSD symptoms?
The National Center for PTSD offers many strategies for coping with PTSD symptoms. They recommend active coping, which is accepting the trauma and taking action in your everyday life to improve things. Active coping is a skill that takes time to develop, but working with a therapist can help you learn active coping techniques.
Some specific recommended strategies include the following:
- Learn about common responses to trauma to understand what you are experiencing and that you are not alone.
- Talk to others about your challenges; for example, there are support groups with other survivors who may understand what you’re experiencing.
- Learn techniques to promote relaxation, like yoga, meditation, or mindfulness.
- Engage in positive activities as a distraction, like creating art, sports, or writing.
- Talk to a doctor or therapist about your treatment plan to ensure you are getting appropriate support.
Can PTSD go away without therapy?
For some people, PTSD symptoms can go away over time without professional treatment, but treatment can help. About 30% of people recover with treatment, and 40% improve but may still have some mild to moderate symptoms.
PTSD can also co-occur with many disorders, including eating disorders, major depressive disorder, substance use disorders, psychotic disorders, and borderline personality disorders. In fact, about 80% of people with PTSD have two or more comorbid mental health conditions. Symptoms of these disorders may be unlikely to go away on their own, which can make appropriate treatment an essential part of recovery.
Why do people with PTSD avoid closeness?
People with PTSD may have a difficult time trusting people, and they may distance themselves from their emotions as a way to avoid thoughts and feelings about their trauma.
How does PTSD affect intimacy?
People with PTSD may experience emotional numbness and distance themselves from friends and family. This emotional avoidance can lead to losing interest in building deeper relationships or engaging in physical intimacy with romantic partners.
Is emotional avoidance a symptom of PTSD?
Yes. According to the diagnostic criteria in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, avoidance of trauma-related thoughts, feelings, and reminders are symptoms of PTSD.
Does PTSD cause emotional detachment?
Yes, PTSD can cause emotional detachment. People with PTSD may engage in emotional avoidance, which can lead to emotional numbing or a total lack of emotions.
- Previous Article
- Next Article