PTSD And Relationships: Tips For Loved Ones
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a mental illness that can develop after a traumatic event. While you may already be familiar with its effects on individuals, like flashbacks and mood swings, PTSD can also impact a person’s loved ones. By understanding how PTSD affects relationships, you may be better able to manage it—whether you’re living with PTSD or have a loved one who is. It can be important to educate yourself, respect your loved one’s boundaries, be mindful of their triggers, and encourage them to seek professional treatment.
What is PTSD?
PTSD stands for posttraumatic stress disorder, a mental health disorder that can develop in response to exposure to trauma. Traumatic events can take many forms. Some examples of common types of trauma include the following:
- Life-threatening situations
- Serious injuries
- War or combat
- Domestic violence
- Sexual assault
- Natural disasters
- Acts of terrorism
However, these aren’t the only possible triggers for PTSD. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V), PTSD can also develop after witnessing other people’s trauma.
People who work closely with trauma survivors, such as first responders, may experience a form of trauma called “vicarious trauma.”
Like trauma itself, PTSD symptoms can look different for different people. That said, some notable examples include those listed below:
- Having nightmares or panic attacks
- Repeatedly reliving the traumatic experience
- Avoiding reminders of the trauma
- Developing feelings of guilt, shame, or fear
- Experiencing mood swings or irritability
- Behaving recklessly or dangerously
- Constantly feeling nervous or being on edge
Some people with PTSD may also experience physical symptoms, such as trouble sleeping, appetite changes, dizziness, or unexplained aches and pains.
PTSD and relationships: Understanding the effects
PTSD can have lasting impacts on trauma survivors. These can extend to their loved ones, too. The disorder can cause changes in people’s ways of thinking, feeling, and acting. When a person survives trauma, their beliefs about themselves, the world, and other people may change significantly. They might develop beliefs like “I am unlovable,” or “Other people can’t be trusted,” which may affect their connection with their loved ones. A trauma survivor might hesitate to be vulnerable around others, even friends and family members. Survivors of sexual trauma may also struggle with emotional and physical intimacy in romantic relationships.
It may also be worth looking at the emotional effects of trauma. Survivors may struggle to manage their feelings, act unpredictably, or have angry outbursts toward their loved ones. Alternatively, they may become highly dependent on their loved ones, which can put a different kind of strain on the relationship.
According to the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, it’s not uncommon for trauma survivors to self-medicate with alcohol or other substances, which may lead to verbal or physical violence in some cases.
Navigating PTSD in relationships
There are multiple ways PTSD may contribute to relationship problems if left unaddressed. However, that doesn’t mean people can’t maintain their relationships when one party is living with PTSD. Supportive close relationships can play a key role in PTSD recovery, but this may depend on keeping those relationships as healthy as possible. Let’s take a look at a few ways to do this.
If your loved one has PTSD:
Educate yourself: Having a deeper understanding of PTSD may help you better support your loved one. Consider reading up on PTSD symptoms so you’re prepared if they arise in the future. Learning more about the psychology of PTSD may also help you understand your loved one’s moods and reactions.
Respect your partner’s boundaries: Managing PTSD can look different for different people. Some may want to talk about their trauma, while others prefer not to discuss it. Avoid pressuring your loved one to discuss or “confront” their trauma. Instead, aim to validate their emotions without pushing them to feel a certain way.
Be aware of their triggers: If your loved one experiences symptoms due to certain triggers, it can help to get familiar with them. Consider sitting down with them to discuss what makes their symptoms worse and how you can work together to prevent this. For example, if they tell you a certain movie is upsetting to them, you’ll know to pick a different option to watch together.
Take care of yourself: Navigating PTSD in a relationship can be stressful for the other person, too. It can help to do things to support your mental health, like getting enough quality sleep, exercising regularly, and eating nutrient-rich foods. You might also consider joining a support group for people whose loved ones have PTSD. Remember to give yourself space if you need it, and to seek immediate help if you have safety concerns.
If you have PTSD:
Communicate: If you’re living with PTSD, it can help to be open and honest about your needs. This doesn’t mean you have to rehash the traumatic experience, but you may want to set boundaries about your triggers and the kind of support you find helpful.
Develop healthy coping strategies: You may be tempted to use substances like alcohol to manage your symptoms. However, this may make your symptoms worse and cause challenges in the relationship. Instead, explore healthier outlets like exercise, meditation, art, or volunteer work. You might also consider enlisting your loved one to participate with you, which may help you build healthy routines.
Be mindful of triggers: Take note of situations, sights, smells, or sounds that cause you distress, and make your loved one aware of these triggers if there’s a chance you might encounter one. If you know ahead of time that you’ll be in a situation that might trigger PTSD symptoms, consider sitting down with your loved one to develop an emergency plan.
Seek treatment: While PTSD can be distressing, it is often possible to manage it—and sometimes even recover from it completely. However, this may depend on getting outside support. While having the support of a loved one can be helpful, professional treatment is often the first step toward improving your symptoms and quality of life.
In particular, certain types of therapy, such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), are strongly recommended for managing PTSD. These treatments may help you process the traumatic event, improve negative thought patterns, and change unhelpful beliefs related to the trauma.
Opening up about a traumatic experience can be challenging, which is why it can help to have a therapist you trust. However, finding the right fit can take time. Online therapy platforms typically let you change therapists whenever you want at no additional cost. This may make it easier to find the right therapist for you.
A growing body of research shows that online therapy can be an effective alternative to in-person therapy for treating PTSD. In a 2022 study, 196 adults with PTSD were given therapy either online or in person. Internet-based therapy appeared to be as effective at improving symptoms as face-to-face therapy.
Takeaway
Post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, is a disorder that can develop after someone experiences trauma, such as violence or abuse. It can involve symptoms like mood swings, nightmares, reckless behavior, and panic attacks. These symptoms can cause challenges in relationships. If you or a loved one is living with PTSD, it can help to set boundaries, prioritize communication, and work together to manage triggers. Seeking professional treatment is often the first step toward recovery, and joining an online therapy platform can be a convenient and accessible way to do so.
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