Five Signs You're In A Rebound Relationship, And How To Bounce Back

Medically reviewed by Andrea Brant, LMHC and Laura Angers Maddox, NCC, LPC

Updated October 14, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

It’s possible you may be in a rebound relationship if it started soon after your previous romantic partnership ended, if you haven’t fully processed the breakup, if you’re still talking about your ex if you don’t talk about the future with your current partner, or if your current partner is distant and aloof. While a rebound can be a fun, exciting way to distract yourself from the pain of a breakup, it can be challenging to form a meaningful connection and be emotionally vulnerable with someone new when you haven’t healed from your previous partnership. Online therapy can help you work through any lingering issues and improve the health of your current partnership.

What is a rebound relationship?

Getty/AnnaStills

A rebound relationship typically takes place shortly after a breakup. It can be seen as a way to quickly move on from a painful heartbreak, but this isn't always the case. While some people can genuinely find love and happiness in rebound relationships, it can be important to recognize when you may be using the other person as a distraction from the pain of your last partnership.

Your partner may also bring prior baggage from their last partnership into the new one, potentially making it difficult for you to establish an emotional connection. Regardless of who's initiating the rebound, awareness can be key to avoiding further heartache.

The impact of attachment style on rebounding

Following a split, it's not unusual to take some time before transitioning into a new partnership. However, your attachment style can affect how likely you are to find yourself in a rebound situation. In fact, recent studies show that individuals with an avoidant attachment style are typically more likely to engage in rebound relationships following breakup distress.

Attachment theory by John Bowlby can help us understand romantic processes and emotional control. Bowlby proposed that psychological attachments form between two individuals and that these connections can serve a survival purpose. Rebound partnerships, then, can be seen as a way of controlling intense emotions in the aftermath of heartbreak.

Other factors that can influence rebounds

No matter your attachment style, other factors may influence your susceptibility to rebound relationships. For instance, if the breakup happened after a long-term partnership or because of cheating, these events might make it more likely for someone to jump into another relationship without taking the time to fully process their emotions first.

It's okay to take some time to heal before entering a new relationship. While there may be no right or wrong amount of time to wait before moving on from one partnership to the next being honest with yourself and your partner about where you both stand can make things easier.

Five possible signs of a rebound relationship

Here are several signs that your relationship could be a rebound:

The relationship started soon after your last one ended: If you and your new partner got together shortly after the end of a long-term relationship, the relationship could be a rebound.
You haven't fully processed your breakup: Pushing away any negative emotions or thoughts about a past relationship and jumping into a new one could signal that you're in a rebound relationship.
You're still talking about your ex: Constantly discussing or comparing your new partner to your ex or trying to make your ex jealous with your new relationship, could show you're not fully ready to move on.
You don't talk about the future: If you haven't discussed things like where your relationship is going, it could be a sign that your partner isn't serious about committing to you or on the same page about the relationship.
Your partner is distant and aloof: If your new partner seems uninterested in getting to know the real you or doesn't seem to care about what's going on in your life, it could indicate that they haven't fully moved on from their previous relationship yet.

Determining what you want

If you think you might be in a rebound relationship, it can be beneficial to process your emotions and figure out what you really want. You may find that you're ready for something serious with your new partner or that it may be best for you to spend some time focusing on yourself so that you can heal.

Try to be gentle with yourself and your partner. Rebounds can be difficult and confusing, but with the right approach, you can gain clarity and find the peace and happiness you deserve.

The pros and cons of being in a rebound relationship

Understanding the pros and cons of being in a rebound partnership may help you make an informed decision about your future.

Pros:

A rebound relationship can provide a distraction from the pain of a recent breakup
It can be exciting to pursue something new after a difficult ending
It could help you move on faster if your last relationship didn't end well

Cons:

Your emotions may still be raw, making it hard to form a meaningful connection
You may not be over your ex, making it difficult to open up and trust someone new
There may be underlying issues from your last relationship that may come up
It can be difficult to talk about the future if you're unsure of your feelings

If you want to stay in a rebound partnership, it’s often best to examine how you feel and what you want. Rebound relationships can sometimes work out for the best, but it can be a good idea to take things slow and be honest about your feelings.

Being happy and comfortable in a relationship may take some time. However, reflecting on your feelings and ensuring your decisions align with what will bring you happiness and peace of mind can help you navigate the situation.

Moving on after a rebound relationship

Depending on the nature of your relationship and its contents, a breakup could be for the best. When it's time to move on from a rebound, one of the best things you can do is usually to be honest with yourself and your partner. To do that, you can tell them that you need time to process the past partnership and figure out what you really want.

It may also be beneficial to take some time for yourself. Reconnecting with friends, taking a break from the dating scene, and engaging in self-care activities can help provide some much-needed clarity.

Perhaps equally as important, don't give up hope. It may take time to find someone ready to commit and love you fully, and that's okay. But, with patience, understanding, and openness, you may find a lasting connection and the happiness you desire.

Try to remember that you are worthy of love and respect. It can be challenging to move on from a rebound, but with the right attitude, you may find yourself in an even better, more meaningful relationship in the end.

Tips for avoiding rebound relationships

Following the dissolution of a relationship, you may feel emotions like anger, sadness, and anxiety. These feelings can be overwhelming, but they don't have to lead to a rebound. Positive outcomes like personal growth and improved relationships with friends and family may also come from taking time to process the emotional journey after a breakup.

While not all rebound relationships are bad, there can be benefits to understanding why they happen and taking steps to avoid getting into one.

Here are a few tips to keep in mind if you want to steer clear of rebound relationships:

Taking time to reflect and process your feelings can help you make better decisions
Being honest with yourself and your partner about how you feel can help prevent misunderstandings
Spending quality time with friends and family can boost your mood and provide emotional support
Practicing self-care activities, like exercise or mindfulness meditation, can alleviate stress
Setting realistic expectations for any new interactions you have may prevent disappointment

Remember, your self-worth is not dependent on whether you're in a relationship. A healthy relationship may take time and patience, but it’s often worth the wait. Understanding your feelings, communicating openly, and practicing self-care can positively influence your chances of finding a relationship that fulfills your needs.

Processing past relationships in online therapy

Online therapy can be a great tool for helping you process your feelings and build relationship skills. A therapist can provide guidance on how best to move forward and make decisions that are in line with what might bring you happiness and contentment.

By taking the time to reflect on your experiences and understanding why rebound relationships happen, online therapy may help you develop emotional and social skills to build healthier connections. Perhaps best of all, you can enjoy all these benefits without having to leave the comfort of your home.

Recent research shows the effectiveness of internet-based cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is normally in line with that of in-person therapy. Additional benefits such as convenience and cost efficiency further support the benefits of online therapy for those looking to move on from a rebound relationship. In addition, professional mental health support can be a valuable tool in helping you take control of your emotions and foster healthier relationships.

Takeaway

If you’re questioning whether you may be in a rebound relationship, you might answer the following questions:

Did your current relationship begin soon after your previous relationship came to an end?
Have you avoided processing the breakup?
Are you still thinking and talking about your ex?
Do you avoid talking about the future with your current partner?
Is your current partner distant and aloof?

If you answered yes to several of these questions, you could be in a rebound relationship. To work through any lingering issues from your previous relationship and ensure that your current one is healthy, you may wish to speak with a licensed therapist. You can do so in person or online.

Frequently asked questions

Read more below for answers to questions commonly asked about this topic.

What are the problems of rebound relationships?

One of the main challenges of rebound relationships may be that you may not have given yourself a chance to fully heal and grow from your previous relationship. In many cases, it can be important to work through any mental health issues resulting from a serious relationship or difficult breakup with your former partner before moving on to your next relationship. In addition, you and your ex’s mutual friends may not approve of your new relationship, which can be challenging.

It’s possible you may have unrealistic expectations for your new partner, such as expecting them to satisfy all of your emotional needs, and that you may bring the problems of your last relationship into your new relationship. You may also notice that your reactionary relationship moves at a rapid pace, or that you’re emotionally unavailable. This can be a warning sign that you haven’t healed and aren’t truly ready for new relationships yet.

How long can rebounding relationships last?

Each relationship tends to be unique. Some rebound relationships may not last, and others may last long-term. If you seek rebound relationships, note that they aren’t necessarily doomed; it’s possible for rebound relationships to be successful relationships.

Can you truly be in love with a rebound?

Yes, it can be possible to truly love your partner in a rebound relationship.

What happens at the end of a rebound relationship?

What happens at the end of a rebound relationship may be very similar to what happens at the end of any other type of relationship. The infatuation you initially experienced toward your partner may wear off, and you may begin to notice their flaws and question whether they’re right for you. In the case of a rebound relationship, you may also experience frequent thoughts of your ex and potentially bring problems from your previous relationship into your current one.

How do you know if a rebound relationship will last?

It can be challenging to say whether a rebound relationship will last. In most cases, if the relationship is healthy and both partners are happy, then it’s possible the relationship may continue into the long term.

Do rebounds help you move on?

Some empirical investigation has been conducted, and according to its contents, rebound relationships may help people move on from previous relationships and let go of their exes more quickly. Rebound relationships may also help people feel more certain in their desirability, with the rebound effect of bolstering their self-esteem.

How many months after a breakup is considered a rebound?

The definition of a rebound relationship can vary from person to person. However, moving on in the days or weeks after a breakup is usually considered a rebound.

Is it toxic to rebound?

It may not necessarily be toxic to enter a rebound relationship, but any relationship can have the potential for toxicity if the partners act in ways that are unhealthy or harmful.

Should I worry about rebounding?

Rebound relationships aren’t necessarily something to worry about. However, if you’re concerned, it can be helpful to speak to a therapist about the situation. They can give you professional insight and personalized guidance that may help you move forward in the healthiest way possible.

Do I like her, or is it a rebound relationship?

It can be possible both to like someone and for them to be a rebound. Just because you are in a rebound relationship with someone doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t genuinely like them. However, it could be possible that you only entered the relationship to seek validation after a breakup. If you’re confused about your feelings, consider speaking to a friend about the situation or talking with a therapist for more clarity.