A Guide To Conflicting Feelings: Dealing With Mixed Emotions

You’re not alone if you’re experiencing conflicting feelings and inner conflict. These experiences may arise due to major life decisions, navigating complex interpersonal relationships, and other causes. In some cases, emotions arising from conflicting ideas can seem like an internal tug of war, leaving individuals stuck, confused, and emotionally drained. The essence of inner conflict often lies in a lack of a clear path, making it difficult to discern which feelings or thoughts are “correct.”

Why am I conflicted about my emotions?  

Individuals may encounter conflicting emotions due to various factors, including life transitions, relationship issues, or internal conflicts. Whether you feel sad, confused, excited, or stuck, these competing feelings may arise when faced with decisions with significant potential for change or impact. 

For instance, a job offer in a different city might elicit excitement for the new opportunity but anxiety about the unknown. Such internal emotional battles often lead to confusion and stress, disrupting well-being. However, these conflicting feelings also present an opportunity for self-exploration and growth if approached with mindfulness rather than reactivity. 

When conflicting thoughts and emotions are bottled up, they may adversely affect mental health and lead to an increased risk of anxiety, depression, or physical symptoms like headaches and fatigue. They can also strain relationships, as unresolved emotions might manifest in unhealthy ways that impact one's ability to connect with others authentically. 

In one study, researchers investigated the relationship between unresolved emotional conflict in relationships and the presence of mental health symptoms. They found that a lack of conflict resolution skills and awareness was associated with harmful habits, anxiety, and avoidance. This study proves how unresolved conflict may manifest itself in unhealthy coping mechanisms that lead to heightened anxiety and confusion. The presence of anxiety can then further exacerbate indecisiveness and vice versa, which could indicate an area where working with an expert would be valuable in identifying and addressing the underlying causes of inner conflict.

Strategies for dealing with mixed emotions 

Navigating the complex landscape of mixed emotions may seem like a daunting task when you’re looking for the truth. However, it can be possible to manage and understand these feelings with effective strategies. Understanding that mixed emotions aren't a sign of weakness but a testament to the human capacity for a rich emotional life may be helpful. 

From mindfulness exercises to emotional reframing, the following strategies aim to foster a compassionate self-dialogue that acknowledges every feeling, thus ensuring emotional resilience and well-being.

Mindfulness strategies 

Mindfulness may also promote the observation of feelings without judgment. In this practice, you can learn to view your emotions as states that arise and pass rather than defining aspects of your identity. This shift in perspective may create the space for you to understand and observe your emotions without getting entangled. You may notice that it can be healthy to experience mixed emotions and that acceptance of them can be the first step toward improved emotional health.

Evidence-based therapeutic practices for improving awareness include mindfulness-based cognitive-behavioral therapy (MB-CBT) and mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR). In one study, researchers investigated the effects of these mindfulness-based interventions and how they can change people’s lives. In the study, their team found that these protocols reduced worry and unhealthy rumination habits, contributing to unresolved emotional conflict. This study illustrates how mindfulness practices and the development of awareness may help individuals reduce emotional reactivity and cultivate more mental clarity. 

Experts also recommend that individuals use this increased awareness to feel different emotions, including less apparent emotions that may be uncomfortable. Specifically, they suggest that individuals create a secondary emotion that embraces the positive and negative aspects of their feelings rather than remaining in the often-confusing presence of conflicting emotions. Their research discovered that embracing this accepting viewpoint can create space for individuals to process emotions more fully and promote stronger adaptive coping mechanisms. 

Community 

A strong community can play a crucial role when dealing with mixed emotions. Your community can provide a safe space to express your feelings openly, offering an opportunity to be heard and validated. Whether it's the joy of a new relationship, the distress of a job loss, or the confusion of a life transition, sharing these feelings with others allows them to resonate with you and provide comfort, guidance, or a listening ear.

Talking about your experiences and emotions may be therapeutic and help you understand them more profoundly. Conveying your thoughts to someone else can also require you to articulate your feelings in a way you might not have before, facilitating a more transparent comprehension of what you are going through. 

Family and friends may be invaluable resources in such situations. Their familiarity with your personality, strengths, and limitations may equip them to offer advice tailored to you. Their reassurance may cultivate happiness and confidence during tough times. However, note that their support may not be a substitute for professional help. While supporting loved ones can be crucial, a trained professional may provide an unbiased perspective and effective coping strategies.

Self-care 

Maintaining your physical health may benefit your physical well-being and can play a pivotal role in your emotional and mental health. Consuming a balanced diet rich in nutrients can enhance your mood, increase your energy levels, and reduce the risk of several mental health conditions, including depression and anxiety. What you feed to your body directly impacts brain function, influencing thoughts, emotions, and overall happiness.

Exercise can be another fundamental aspect of staying healthy. Regular physical activity boosts mental health by reducing symptoms of depression and anxiety. Aside from the benefits of endorphins and feeling happier and more at ease, regular exercise may help individuals be more empowered and self-confident, enhancing their decision-making ability. Exercise also promotes better sleep and contributes to overall well-being in one’s relationship with oneself and others.

Inner peace 

Finding time to feel at peace can be as important as eating nutritious food and exercising. Peace of mind is often at the core of human happiness. It allows individuals to remain centered during life's ups and downs and enables them to find more balance relating to stress. This peace can be promoted through techniques like mindfulness, relaxing hobbies, or spending time in nature. These activities enable people to connect with themselves on a deeper level, to talk to their inner selves, and to understand their emotions more clearly.

Therapy 

Therapy can be essential in finding balance and gaining clarity amidst emotional turmoil. Working with licensed therapists can provide a safe and non-judgmental environment where conflicting feelings may be openly explored. A therapist can provide strategies to manage this inner discord, helping individuals understand the root cause of their emotions, recognize patterns, and develop healthier coping mechanisms. The goal is not to eliminate these conflicting feelings but to learn how to navigate them effectively, promoting a greater sense of emotional well-being and resilience in life's inherent complexities.

You might benefit from an online therapy platform like BetterHelp if you face barriers to in-person therapy methods. One potential advantage to online therapy is having a safe space to express your emotions freely. The virtual platform may reduce apprehension associated with face-to-face sessions, permitting users to open up about their emotional struggles. It may be particularly beneficial to individuals who are nervous or uncomfortable discussing their conflicting emotions in a traditional therapy setting. In addition, online therapy can offer the convenience of being accessible from anywhere. This flexibility allows users to schedule sessions at times that suit them, alleviating the stress associated with trying to fit appointments into a busy lifestyle. 

In particular, mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) delivered in the online setting has shown promising results in alleviating anxiety related to indecision and emotional conflict. MBSR is a therapeutic approach that encourages individuals to focus on the present moment and understand their emotions without judgment. 

In one study, researchers found that the MBSR method enhanced personal insight and self-awareness, fostering clarity and certainty in decision-making processes. This study demonstrates how MBSR and related therapeutic modalities in online therapy may assist individuals in understanding the root cause of their mixed emotions, relieving anxiety, and promoting happiness and overall well-being.