Mental Health And Relationship Problems: I Have No Sex Drive
Having a satisfying sex life can be an important part of many people’s mental health. A healthy sex life can relieve stress, help us bond with our partners, and more. If your sex drive has recently taken a turn for the worse, this can have a serious impact on your relationships and it can be crucial to get to the bottom of what’s going on.
Maybe you are suddenly experiencing low sexual desire, a complete lack of interest in physical intimacy, or perhaps you have always had an aversion to sexual intimacy. This article aims to explore the variety of psychological factors that could be reducing your sexual desire and ability to achieve sexual arousal, as well as looking at potential solutions ranging from online therapy to others.
Symptoms of low libido and relationship challenges
Your libido or your “sex drive” is a complex process influenced by factors ranging from biological to psychological and social. As libido levels vary from person to person, it can be difficult to identify when low sexual desire is abnormal or causing strain on your relationships.
Hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD) is the medical term that refers to different forms of reduced sexual desire. The term "hypoactive" denotes a decrease in both behavioral and physical activity.
Men and women often experience similar symptoms of HSDD including decreased interest in sex of all forms, including masturbation. HSDD is characterized by an enduring and recurring lack of interest in sexual activity, sexual thoughts, and sexual stimulation, leading to heightened stress. This clinically noteworthy stress may manifest as sadness, a feeling of grief, and emotions of inadequacy, loss, and frustration.
Sexual desire often fluctuates throughout our lives. For example, it is common for women to experience decreased sexual desire when going through huge life changes such as pregnancy or menopause.
Low libido or low sex drive can affect the relationship. You may feel guilty for not being able to fulfill the relationship’s sexual needs. In addition, your partner may feel sexually unfulfilled and may also have the feeling that they are less desirable.
Causes of low sex drive
There are a variety of psychological, physical, and social factors that can serve as potential culprits of low sex drive. Men and women often have overlapping symptoms and causes, but there can be some differences.
Some causes of low sex drive in men and women can include:
- Relationship issues
- Relationship stagnating or feelings diminishing over time
- Stress, possibly related to financial problems or troubles at work
- Family demands
- Mental health decline
- Drug and alcohol use, as well as certain medications
- Tobacco use
- Physical health such as obesity or diabetes, or illnesses such as cancer
- Growing older
- Sexual orientations such as asexuality or demisexuality
- History of sexual trauma or abuse
Men and women may have different causes of low sex drive
There are some causes of low sex drive that primarily apply to men. They may include:
- Issues regarding sexual function, such as erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, and retrograde ejaculation
- Low testosterone
- Men are more likely to suffer from performance anxiety
There are also some causes of low sex drive that primarily impact women, such as:
- Contraception
- Sexual pain, sometimes linked to endometriosis
- Menopause, hormonal problems
With the variety of factors impacting men and women, you may need to figure out the root cause of present issues in order to better improve your sexual health.
Treatment options
When facing a loss of libido, you may be worried that there are no solutions and your relationship will be ruined. However, a variety of treatment options are available.
Some potential remedies for loss of libido may include:
- Relationship counseling
- Medications to treat vaginal dryness or erectile dysfunction
- Hormone replacement therapy (HRT)
- Antidepressants
- Changing medications
How therapy can help with low libido issues and other relationship problems
Many of us might not feel comfortable sharing personal details about our sex lives with others. Sexual problems in a relationship can often be a source of shame or embarrassment, even though this is often a result of social conditioning and there is nothing to be ashamed of if you are experiencing these issues.
While we might feel at ease leaning on our friends and family for advice on certain subjects, we often find sexual details too vulnerable to divulge to the people we know. This reluctance to openly address these issues often causes sexual problems in relationships to spiral and get worse. However, there can be a solution.
Therapy, including online therapy, can potentially help those experiencing these issues. Perhaps your underlying issues regarding your sexual problems are related to your experiences of past trauma or abuse, or due to communication or other issues in your relationship.
Online therapy for overcoming the impact of low libido on mental health
Online therapy can be an effective resource for working through these traumatic experiences in your life in a safe environment, such as that of your own home. Therapy can also help with increasing confidence and improving communication skills with your partner. Additionally, a licensed professional can offer coping mechanisms to help you overcome the adverse impacts of low libido on your mental health.
Takeaway
Through identifying the symptoms and causes of the variety of sexual problems related to low libido, you can pinpoint solutions that could help you, like changing medications, reducing life stress, and a variety of others. Options like seeking online therapy with a licensed professional can also help those experiencing these issues work through past abuse and trauma, improve self-esteem, and gain better communication and coping skills.
Frequently asked questions
How do we fix relationship problems?
Different relationship problems may require different solutions, but engaging in open and honest communication is often a crucial first step. To address issues and cultivate a healthy relationship with your romantic partner, it can be valuable to develop effective communication skills that help you deal with conflict in a healthy way, find common ground, and solve problems together—remembering that you’re on the same team. Healthy communication is a two-way street, so it’s also important to be a good listener and consider your partner’s perspective.
Another common relationship problem can involve feeling distant or not connected to each other, so it can be important to spend time building your emotional connection, such as by having regular date nights and talking about the future.
Can relationship issues cause low sex drive?
Yes, in some cases, relationship issues can contribute to low sex drive. If one partner feels stressed, disconnected, frustrated, or unwanted by the other partner, these negative feelings can impact their sex drive. When these dynamics are present, addressing the underlying issues and rebuilding the emotional bond can be helpful.
Can lack of sex cause a relationship problem?
For many couples, sex is an important part of their romantic relationship, and being on the same page regarding physical intimacy is important for the health of the relationship. If one or both people do not feel that their sexual needs are being met in the relationship, it may cause trouble. However, when navigating any issues around intimacy, it is always vital to respect each other’s boundaries.
What mental health disorder causes low sex drive?
A number of different mental health conditions can impact sex drive, including depression and anxiety disorders.
What is the main problem in a relationship?
Some of the most common relationship problems that couples struggle with include communication issues, trust issues, and intimacy issues. Other common issues in a marriage or long-term relationship can include disagreements about money, differing expectations or core values, and the stress caused by other priorities or responsibilities.
Is lack of sex a reason to break up?
Determining whether or not to end a relationship is a very personal decision. If sex is an important part of the relationship for you, and you don’t feel that you and your partner are in alignment, it may make sense to consider how best to move forward—whether that involves seeking professional help, working together on the relationship, or breaking up.
Can a relationship last without sex?
Sex is not a necessary part of a romantic relationship for all people; so yes, a relationship can last without sex, as long as both people are on the same page.
Is it normal to not want sex in a relationship?
Some people, such as those who are asexual, do not experience sexual attraction, and so for them, not experiencing such attraction is perfectly normal and healthy. Other people may notice a shift in their sex drive, which can be due to various causes, such as stress, relationship issues, or physical health conditions. And for some people, negative experiences from previous relationships may have impacted their attitudes toward physical intimacy in certain ways. If you have experienced a change in your sex drive and are unsure why, consult with a qualified health professional for support.
Is it normal to struggle in a relationship?
Many relationships experience some ups and downs and disagreements at times. However, if you feel resentment toward your partner, continue having the same fight over and over again, or engage in disrespectful behavior, these can be warning signs of an unhealthy relationship. If you feel like you are always doing something wrong or don’t feel like you can communicate with your partner in a productive way, it may be time to consider whether it’s in your best interest to stay and work on the relationship, or if you have reached the point of no return and it may be best to end things.
What are the most difficult stages of a relationship?
A variety of different issues may arise as a relationship progresses, and different people may have different ideas on what stage of the relationship constitutes the most difficult. For some people, moving in together and dealing with household chores together may cause friction, while for others, the early stage of figuring out how to talk and flirt a certain way through text messages may be the most challenging. And for others, navigating major life transitions that pull their focus toward other things may be the toughest.
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