How Do I Get Over Her? Moving On After A Broken Heart
Going through a breakup can be one of the most difficult things a person faces in their lifetime. Losing the bond or partnership you’ve formed with a girlfriend or wife can leave you feeling lost, heartbroken, and unsure of how to move forward in your healing process.
It is perfectly normal to experience periods of sadness or discomfort following a breakup. Many find it difficult to think rationally after losing a partner. A wide array of emotions and feelings can develop, which can be overwhelming and difficult to process. How long does it take to get over someone you love? There is no universal answer to this question since every person and relationship is unique.
Though moving forward with your life after a breakup can be extremely challenging, it is important to remember that hope and help are available. Breakups are an unfortunate reality for many, but because of this, you are not alone. Though it may feel unattainable at the moment, a happy, fulfilled version of you exists with, or without, a partner.
There are several steps to take, and things to consider, after a breakup that can help you move on healthily.
How to evaluate your situation and protect your mental health after a breakup
Breaking up with a wife or girlfriend can look exceptionally different for every person experiencing it. Romantic relationships are as unique as each individual involved, and there is no definitive “best way to get over someone” when one ends. Evaluating your situation carefully can help you decide the best approach to help your mental health and well-being. For example, if you are in a situation where you are living with an ex-wife or girlfriend, you may need to maintain a level of communication for housing or financial reasons.
If you and your partner were living separately at the time of your breakup and you are struggling to move on, it may help to consider cutting off communication entirely. While it can seem drastic to some, shedding physical reminders of an ex, such as removing photos or blocking the person on your social media accounts, can aid in the process of moving forward.
How long to get over a breakup and protect your mental health
How long to get over a breakup? Some may require a little more time, while others recover fast. Again, every relationship is unique, and it is important to consider your health and well-being above all else when experiencing a breakup. While restrictive living or financial situations can make breakups especially difficult to navigate, it is possible. Taking a step back and evaluating what you need to move forward, whether it be a new living space, time alone, or self-reflection, could be essential.
Allow yourself to grieve after a broken heart
The feelings of going through a breakup can be largely similar to the feelings of experiencing any loss, especially if it is the end of a long-term relationship. It is not uncommon to feel pressure from some people to “move on” or “get over” a breakup with haste. You may even tell yourself these things or experience negative beliefs if you feel you are struggling to move on. It is important to remember that grief from a breakup is normal.
Though the stages of grief are typically referred to in the context of dealing with death, these feelings can also occur in tandem with the loss of a relationship. Experiencing any form of grief can take a toll on both your mental and physical health.
Reach out to friends and loved ones for support on how to get over someone after a difficult breakup
When experiencing a breakup, oftentimes recurrent feelings of loneliness can be some of the most troublesome ones to tackle. If you find yourself feeling isolated after a breakup, reaching out to friends or a support system can be highly beneficial. You may want to contact someone you know who has been through a similar situation. Sometimes, something as simple as a phone call or text message to a friend or family who can relate, could help you feel a sense of relief.
If you cannot think of friends and family you feel comfortable reaching out to directly, you may want to explore online communities or search for support groups in your area. When working on how to move on from a relationship, it can be crucial to remember you are not alone. If you find yourself feeling isolated for a prolonged period of time, having anxiety after a breakup, or feeling unable to ever consider a new relationship, it may be beneficial to seek guidance from a therapist or counselor.
Reach out to friends and loved ones
It is not uncommon for breakups to bring about a period of self-fulfillment and self-love for many. The end of a relationship could offer a great opportunity to explore your interests, try new hobbies, or consider things you would like to improve as you embrace a new chapter in your life.
Some tangible examples of self-fulfillment could come in the form of getting into fitness, journaling, working toward career advancement, picking up an instrument, reading, taking a cooking class, rediscovering an old hobby, and many more. You may take that trip to New York you always dreamed of or decide to start renovating your home.
It’s important to remember that self-fulfillment does not have to be an arduous task. For example, if you find painting fun and relaxing, it is not necessary to be “good” at it. Simply finding an activity that brings you enjoyment can be very fulfilling in its own right.
Still, self-fulfillment can be challenging to achieve entirely on your own. It can be crucial to have a support system in place when taking part in self-exploration after a breakup, whether it be your friends, family, a therapist, or online support.
Benefits of online therapy when trying to move on
If you have found yourself wondering how to get over someone fast from time to time, you may benefit from the choice to seek professional support and speak with an online therapist. Experiencing overwhelming sadness or symptoms of depression after a difficult breakup is exceedingly common. Finding yourself in a transitional period following a breakup is common, as you consider your future and potential new relationships when you’re ready to start dating again.
Online therapy can offer a more flexible alternative to in-person therapy, while still being shown to be equally as effective. A licensed therapist can help you navigate the specifics of your past relationship while providing professional guidance in matters of moving on.
When it comes to breakups specifically, the people closest to you may have difficulty separating their feelings from your situation, making it more difficult for you to feel comfortable opening up. In cases like this, it can be beneficial to have an online therapist to serve as an unbiased outsider and a safe person to confide in.
Effectiveness of online therapy
Recent studies have shown that internet-based Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is equally as effective as in-person CBT. In addition to this, online therapy often provides more cost-effective, and available, options to those seeking assistance.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy aims to help people reframe the unfavorable thought processes that can lead to symptoms of depression, anxiety, etc. Learning these reframing tools from a licensed online therapist can often be instrumental in regard to moving on from a past partner or recent breakup.
Takeaway
If you have found yourself having trouble getting over a breakup, it is important to remember that your feelings are valid and that moving on from heartbreak takes time. Depending on your situation, you may benefit from time alone, time with friends, or from seeking help from a licensed professional.
It is perfectly normal to experience feelings of grief following a breakup, but choosing healthy ways to cope, such as fitness, art, or seeking therapy, can aid in speeding up your emotional recovery and boost your self-esteem as you’re preparing for your next relationship.
How do you get over a girl you still love?
It rarely feels easy when a relationship ends. If you still have feelings for your ex, here are some ways that you can start to heal according to relationship experts. Seeking therapy can provide additional support and tools to help manage these emotions effectively.
Make space. Depending on circumstances, you may not be able to avoid your ex altogether, but try to keep as much space as possible between you, at least for a period of time. Block them on social media to prevent scrolling through their feed.
Take care of yourself. A breakup is a loss, and it can be important to acknowledge your feelings and to grieve that loss. Don’t reject or suppress emotions, but try to manage them and focus on yourself for a time.
Surround yourself with loved ones. Support networks can be essential to healing. Spend time with family and friends that you care about.
Acknowledge the fantasy. When we’ve lost someone, it can be easy to remember all the good things that we lost, while ignoring the problems that caused the breakup. The version of the person you lost may not be an accurate one. Take some time to identify and acknowledge the challenges that brought you to where you were, rather than focusing on what might have been.
Interest yourself in other things. Keeping yourself busy by exploring other interests can help keep your mind engaged, and help you to avoid ruminating on your ex.
How do I get over her fast?
Moving on from a relationship can take time, especially if you have a history together. While there may not be a way to get over another person as quickly as you’d like, a way to speed up the process is to avoid trying to escape your feelings. By allowing yourself to feel grief, you can process it and move forward, rather than spending time and energy trying to deny these feelings. It’s okay and normal to have these feelings, they are part of the process.
Why can't I get over her even with the help of a family therapist?
Break ups can be considered a traumatic loss in your life, and like other traumatic losses like the death of a loved one, may require a period of grieving. A family therapist can provide guidance and support, but healing can still take time and personal effort. There will be times you feel that you are moving forward, and others that you’ll feel like you’re regressing. Experts sometimes refer to managing these emotions as “riding the waves”. Our emotional state is not static, but always moving like waves in the ocean. By acknowledging your feelings and participating in social life, you can continue to move forward and heal.
How do you accept your ex moving on?
It typically doesn’t feel good when your ex moves on before you do. As difficult as it may feel, focus on your own life and avoid spending time thinking about theirs. Don’t follow them on social media and spend as little time around them as possible. Spend time with loved ones like friends and family. Take care of yourself physically and mentally, with regular exercise, meals, and getting outside when you can. Mindfulness exercises like meditation and journaling can also be helpful.
How should you act around an ex who hurt you?
As much as possible, try not to be around that ex, even if it means making some changes to your schedule. If it is impossible to avoid them, try to see them in a group setting. When you must interact with them, treat them as though they are just any other person, be polite, but don’t focus on them.
How do you know it's over in a marriage?
There is no one answer for this question, but in general when a marriage or relationship begins to feel unhealthy for your own emotional health and wellbeing, it may be time to step back and evaluate the situation.
Why am I missing her so much after seeing her on social media?
Loss is difficult. A breakup is a loss and often requires a period of mourning, and missing your ex can be normal. Seeing her on social media can trigger memories and emotions, making it harder to let go. These feelings will become less powerful over time, and at some point, will often disappear completely, though this can be hard to believe while you’re feeling the loss.
Can missing someone make you physically sick?
Missing someone who used to be in your life is a life challenge that creates a great deal of stress in your life. And stress can have physical side effects, such as headaches or body aches, and gastrointestinal issues like nausea, heartburn, or diarrhea.
How do you emotionally detach from someone while maintaining boundaries?
Some tips for emotionally detaching from someone you love include:
- Identify the why. Understanding your reason for letting go of the person can be essential to moving forward in healing
- Allow yourself to mourn and to feel any emotions that a breakup has created. Crying or using exercise to release emotions can be a good start in processing them and moving on
- Create a strong support network of friends and family members. Talk to a trusted person about your feelings
- Maintaining your comfort during this time can help protect your emotional space and prevent unnecessary stress.
- Focus on the future. Contemplate future relationships and what they may look like, plan activities for yourself, or make plans with friends. Try to avoid focusing too much on the past
- Mindfulness exercises like meditation or journaling can help
- If you are having a lot of trouble moving on, talking to a therapist may be helpful
How do I get over her when social media keeps reminding me of the past?
Consider blocking, restricting, or unfollowing her on social media to create emotional distance and focus on activities that promote self-growth and healing.
How can a family therapist help heal a broken heart?
A family therapist can provide a safe space to explore emotions, identify unhealthy patterns, and offer strategies for moving forward after a breakup.
How can therapy help individuals maintain boundaries after a breakup?
Therapy can help you think things through, set healthy boundaries, and devise better strategies to protect your personal information and emotional well-being after a breakup.
How can therapy help rebuild trust after a breakup or when marriage ends?
Therapy provides tools for understanding and healing from past hurts, allowing you to rebuild trust in yourself and others at your own pace.
How do you know if he misses you?
Signs he may miss you include reaching out unexpectedly, reminiscing about shared memories, or showing interest in your well-being.
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