How Do I Tell My Ex I Still Love Him?
If you want to tell your ex you still love them, it can be wise to talk to a therapist about the situation before taking action. They may help you decide whether reaching out is a good choice, develop a plan for the conversation, and prepare for potential outcomes. If you rekindle your relationship with your ex, the two of you may benefit from couples therapy, as it may help you avoid repeating any difficulties that led to your initial breakup.
Note: Although this article may use the pronouns “he” and “him” to refer to an ex-partner, the information presented here can apply to people of all genders.
How to tell your ex you still love them
Before you jump into contacting your ex, it can be beneficial to speak with a licensed mental health professional beforehand. A therapist can help you determine whether resuming contact with your ex may be the right choice. Mental health professionals can provide support and help you see things from a different perspective, potentially considering the best and worst-case scenarios. Talking to a therapist can also give you the opportunity to address any mental health concerns you may be experiencing, like anxiety or depression, for instance.
Determine a plan before reaching out
If you decide that you are going to reach out to your ex, you may wish to formulate a plan for how and where you want to tell your ex that you still love them. Think of what you want to say and what the benefits of reuniting with this person may be. If there are things that will need to change for your relationship to work this time around, be sure to make that clear. This can be your chance to express what you want and how you feel. While it’s possible that your feelings may be returned, and a healthier, happier relationship may rise from the ashes, you may also need to prepare yourself for other outcomes.
Choosing the best method of communication
If you are going to reach out by text, you will generally want to make sure your text message comes across the way that you want it to. Since written messages can be easily misunderstood, you may need to reread the message and consider including emojis to emphasize your feelings and clarify your tone. You may want to avoid starting out with an array of emotions until you have an idea of how your ex will respond. Instead, consider starting the conversation casually by asking how they are doing.
Calling your ex might be a good alternative to texting. Consider whether you are prepared to talk to your ex on the phone. This could be the quickest and most direct way to avoid miscommunications.
Preparing for possible outcomes when I tell my ex I still love him
You may also need to be ready for the possibility that your ex won't return your feelings or just wants to be friends. Preparing for the best- and worst-case scenarios may be a wise course of action. Think about how you might feel if you are rejected by your ex. What do you think your reaction might be?
Brace for possible rejection
Rejection may not mean that your ex will never talk to you again. It could just be that it’s too soon after the relationship has ended. Many emotions can arise when a relationship ends, and your ex may still be experiencing hurt or disappointment regarding the loss. If your ex is not willing to return your text or phone calls, you may want to process this with your therapist rather than obsessing over the rejection or developing symptoms of depression.
Reach out and prepare to reconnect
After you have spoken with friends and family or a therapist and come up with a solid plan, you may be prepared to reach out to your ex to arrange a meeting (assuming you aren't going to tell them that you still love them over the phone). Be prepared for the possibility that, even though they could be excited for another chance to make things right, there may also be a chance they do not feel the same way.
Consider your approach
If they agree to meet up, consider your approach. Remember the important points you want to make and try to take it slow before jumping headfirst into something that didn't work out the first time. If they feel comfortable with the idea, couples therapy may be another tool to use when trying to mend a relationship or starting over again.
Managing expectations and moving forward
After the meeting, reflect on the conversation and how you both felt during the interaction. Whether you continue pursuing the relationship or go your separate ways, it’s essential to prioritize your emotional well-being and stay true to what you want in a partner.
How online therapy can help
It can prove challenging to reach out to a therapist in person to talk about your love life, especially if you’re still having feelings for an ex. You may feel embarrassed about your lingering feelings, or you may be hesitant to reveal intimate details of your life to a stranger. Online therapy may make therapy more comfortable for you. Some people report feeling more at ease behind a screen than in a clinical environment, such as a therapist’s office. This type of therapy can also be more convenient since it can be done from home at a time that fits your schedule.
The advantages of online therapy
Online therapy offers flexibility and convenience, making it easier for people to seek help from the comfort of their own homes. Online therapy has been thoroughly researched with generally promising results. A recent study found that couples receiving therapy via video-conferencing technology usually felt more comfortable and in control of the process, which helped them express their emotions during sessions. Therapy can be similarly effective for individuals as well.
Takeaway
Should I tell my ex I still love him?
It’s not unusual to still feel love for your ex after the relationship has ended or you’ve gone on a break. Deciding whether to act on these feelings to ‘tell my ex I still love him,’ however, is a decision you must make based on what you think is best. To start, you might consider the state of the relationship when it ended, the truth about why you broke up, and what the chances are that things might be different going forward. You could also speak with a therapist to help you sort out your feelings so you can make an informed, healthy decision based on what happened in the past and what you want for your future.
How do I text my ex that I still love him?
Before texting your ex to point out that you still love him, you might want to consider the potential outcomes of doing so. If he has requested space, it may be wise to avoid contacting him. If you broke up for a reason that likely won’t be any different if you try again, it may not be worth reaching out to try and rekindle things. If he’s in a new relationship now, to hear from you like this may be viewed as an action that lacks respect for him and his new partner. If you do decide to go through with it, you might send a single, brief, and well-considered text expressing your feelings and then leaving the ball in his court—and then being prepared for the fact that you might not receive an answer.
Should I talk to my ex if I still have feelings?
While it’s not inherently wrong to talk to your ex if you still have feelings for them, moving forward emotionally may be harder if you stay in contact—at least at first. In a case like this, it could be helpful to take some time apart without communication so you can do the work of moving on. This can be especially true if you have a new boyfriend now, as many partners like to have ground rules about contact with exes.
How do I tell him it's over when I still love him?
Breaking up with someone you still love can be immensely difficult, but it may be necessary in some situations—for example, if you don’t want the same things out of life. Having an honest, compassionate conversation is generally the only way to express the fact that while you appreciate the good memories you had and that you still love him, it’s not possible for the relationship to continue on.
Does love for an ex ever go away?
A general sense of love, care, appreciation, and wishes for an ex’s well-being might persist for years or even a lifetime. If you had good times and grew together, you likely have fond memories of them and that chapter of your life—and it’s okay to feel them in such a way that’s not disruptive to your life now or to your future. However, if you feel a persistent, strong sense of romantic love toward an ex, it could be a sign of something you need to resolve emotionally in order to move forward with your life. Journaling, engaging in self-care, and speaking with a therapist are all activities that might help you work through such feelings.
Should I text my ex to tell him I still love him?
A dating coach or therapist would likely encourage you to think carefully before reaching out to tell an ex that you still love them. Considering what you want to happen as a result, whether rekindling the relationship would be wise, and how they might receive such a message can all be important before you make your choice. If the breakup is fresh, it may also be worth waiting a while for your emotions to level out before you make this kind of decision.
How do you detach from an ex you still love?
Typically, keeping a moderately busy schedule of activities that you enjoy and that make you feel good is recommended as a way to try and move on from an ex you still love. This could look like taking care of your body and mind through things like exercising and meditation, spending time with friends, meeting new people, and engaging in favorite hobbies or picking up new ones.
How do you know if your ex still loves you?
The only way to know if your ex still loves you is to hear it from them. However, contacting them to find out is typically a decision you’ll need to think through carefully. If the breakup is fresh, it may be wise to wait and let your own emotions rebalance first.
Can I start dating if I still love my ex?
How do you know if your ex still has feelings?
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