Signs It's Time To Let Go: Acceptance And Moving On

Medically reviewed by Dr. April Brewer, DBH, LPC and Nikki Ciletti, M.Ed, LPC
Updated October 14, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

The end of an intimate relationship may be one of the most challenging experiences. It may also open new doors in your life. Initially, losing an intimate relationship may feel highly distressing if you once believed it was leading you down the path of lasting love, marriage, or having a family.

When you start to see signs your relationship is in trouble, you may feel urges to ignore the signs. You might also decide to work with your partner to overcome them or decide to end things.

Many relationships aren’t meant to last forever. 64% of Americans have experienced a breakup at some point. When a separation occurs, it can be hard to move past the pain you feel. However, it’s often possible to learn from that experience, grow, and come out better on the other side.

The ending of an intimate relationship may be a sign that you have grown to understand what doesn't work for you and what does work for you. You may have learned to identify your deal-breakers and must-haves along the way. As a result, the chances for success in your next relationship could be substantially higher.

Moving on from a relationship can be difficult

How to know when it’s time to release yourself from a relationship

Instead of trying to hang on to a partnership that may have run its course, it may help you to understand that intimate relationships can come to an end for many reasons. In many cases, it involves changing desires, personal growth, or circumstances beyond control. Often, two people grow apart and find that they're better as friends. No matter the reason, there are often indicators that the relationship may not work for one or both partners.

The signs of a failing relationship can be hard to see if you're unaware of what to look for. The reasons why one relationship might fail can be different from the reasons another relationship doesn't work out. However, specific behavior patterns can let you know whether it might be time for you to go your separate ways. The following are signs that may signal the end of your intimate relationship.

Lots of emotional arguments

Many couples find that the number of arguments about seemingly “little things” will increase toward the end of a relationship, especially when arguments seem to come out of the blue. Constant arguments may make the relationship untenable, and both parties might decide that ending the relationship is the best step. On the other hand, couples therapy may be an option if you hope to work through the arguments and learn new communication skills.

Always working late 

Although you or your partner might need to stay late at work sometimes because your job demands it, some people may use working late as an excuse not to come home and face their partner. If your significant other has suddenly started working tons of overtime that isn't mandatory, consider reaching out to ask what has changed.

Hiding their phone

If your partner used to grant you authority to their phone but has now locked it down or reacts defensively when you are near it, this may be a sign that they may have plans or interests that don't include you.

Sudden changes in behavior 

Do you wonder whether you're in the twilight zone because your partner's behavior has changed so drastically? This behavioral change could signify that their feelings about the relationship have also changed.

If abuse has become a factor in your relationship, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) for helpful information and resources.

Obvious lack of attachment or interest 

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If your partner used to shower you with affection but is not putting forward as much effort anymore, this might be a sign that the relationship is close to the end or that their feelings have changed.

However, some individuals may become distant when dealing with a personal loss, struggle, or mental health condition. In this case, communicating about the concerns your partner is having may be beneficial.

Farewell hints or signs it's time to let go

If your partner starts jokingly (or seriously) dropping hints that they want to end your intimate relationship, they might be signaling their true intentions. Pay attention to whether breakup hints have become a regular part of your routine.

If your partner drops these hints frequently, they may be trying to tell you something. If you're the one making those jokes, you might want to examine whether you're serious about ending it or not.

No conversation

If your partner suddenly stops filling you in on all the important details of their life like they used to, they may be thinking about ending the relationship.

Making excuses 

Has your partner been making tons of excuses for not answering your calls, abruptly canceling dates, or not remembering essential milestones? This forgetfulness could signify that your relationship may not be their number one priority anymore.

Three ways of coping in the acceptance and moving on process

There are several ways to work through complicated feelings after the end of an intimate relationship.

1. Practicing self-care after detachment from someone you love

When an intimate relationship comes to an end, individuals may have different strategies for how to deal with the emotions they feel. Some people may isolate themselves, while others might turn to friends and family to help them feel better and heal from the breakup.

When faced with losing someone, you may revert to what makes you feel most comfortable, whether that includes going out with friends or snuggling up on the couch with pizza and a movie. Grief is often a part of the breakup process, so feeling unsteady and wanting to be alone is a normal reaction. However, an important thing to remember is that you can use this time when you're alone to care for yourself and learn to be alone for a while.

Self-care can be especially critical after you've experienced an emotional loss. Remembering to rest, exercise, and focus on deep breathing and meditation to process the feelings you're experiencing may help you get through the pain and move on. Be gentle with yourself and recognize that you are mourning the loss of your relationship. It's okay to go at your own pace while learning to take care of the new you.

2. Exercising can help release stress from relationship closure

The last thing you may want to do after a painful breakup is exercise. However, exercising is one of the things that may help you feel better. Exercising can relieve the stress that may come with a life change, and it helps produce endorphins that can boost your mood.

Getting your blood flowing can keep your mind and body limber, and you don't have to do anything vigorous if you can't manage it for whatever reason. A ten-minute walk can help ease your mind, center your thoughts, and relieve uncomfortable feelings like anxiety or sadness. Exercise can be especially important for people who have mental health conditions, the symptoms of which might worsen after a breakup.

3. Talking to someone can help in acceptance and moving on

When a breakup produces painful emotions, it can be normal to want to seek emotional support. Talking through your feelings with a trusted friend or family can help you process the breakup and potentially start to move on with life.

To help you gain valuable insights as you grieve the loss of a relationship or address other life challenges, consider talking to a licensed mental health professional. You can do this in person, if that suits you better, or through an online therapy platform like BetterHelp for individuals or Regain for couples. Online therapy may help you learn new coping strategies for losing your intimate relationship. A licensed therapist can also provide advice and support as you try to learn from this experience and grow as a person.

Online therapy is an excellent option for people who want to connect with a therapist from the comfort of their own homes, and studies have shown that online therapy can be just as effective as in-person sessions. You can participate in sessions via live chat, phone call, or voice call, and you'll have the option to message your therapist outside of sessions.

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Moving on from a relationship can be difficult
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Takeaway

Now that you know how to recognize the signs that your intimate relationship may end, where will you go from here? Will you fight for your relationship by learning new strategies or participating in relationship counseling with your partner? Or will you decide to break up and go your own way? 

Whatever you decide, know that support is available. If you need someone to talk to, therapists and counselors are standing by to help you navigate this difficult time and get you on the path to a healthy, happy future.

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