Let’s Have A Good Day: Relationship Strategies For Couples Feeling Stuck

Couples facing challenges in their relationship may make statements like, “Let’s have a good day today,” with the hope that these positive words will improve their interactions. Although these sentiments can be well-meaning, they can also serve as a mask for deeper issues in a relationship that are difficult to resolve through positive affirmations alone. For couples who feel stuck, it may be helpful to take a step back and implement strategies for identifying and addressing challenges. 

Over time, couples may experience periods of stagnation, during which it seems as though they cannot move forward together. In these situations, it may be helpful for a couple to focus on improving communication and dedicate time to improving their connection. Below, examine signs of an unhealthy relationship and explore strategies and techniques to help couples rekindle feelings of love and deepen their physical and emotional connections. 

Signs a relationship is stuck or unhealthy

Every relationship may experience ups and downs, but when disconnection, frustration, or stagnation become the norm, it may be a sign that the relationship is stuck or unhealthy. Recognizing these warning signs early can help couples take proactive steps to rebuild their bond. Signs that a relationship is stuck or unhealthy may include the following: 

• Lack of communication: Effective communication may be the foundation of a healthy relationship, but when couples stop communicating, it may be a sign of deeper problems. 
• A sense of being more like roommates than partners: If a relationship begins to seem like cohabitation rather than a loving partnership, it may indicate an emotional or physical disconnection. A loss of affection or quality time together can lead to loneliness, even within a relationship. 
• Unresolved conflict: Disagreements can be natural; However, when conflicts persist without closure, it can lead to resentment.
• Lack of intimacy or affection: Relationships may begin with a high level of physical intimacy between a man and a woman, or between partners of any gender, but over time, life responsibilities can interfere with intimacy. 
• Avoiding quality time together: If spending time together seems more like an obligation than a desire, or if one or both partners consistently prioritize work, hobbies, or social life over the relationship, it may indicate a deeper disconnect.

Recognizing these signs can play a crucial role in identifying challenges early on, before small problems escalate into more significant issues. While some issues can be resolved through open communication and intentional effort, others may require professional guidance to be navigated effectively. The key may be to acknowledge the problem in the present moment and focus on taking action before the distance becomes too significant to repair.

Deciding if it is time to move on

Although partners may want to work out problems and move forward as a couple, there may be times when it is best for both individuals to move on. Choosing to move on from a relationship can be challenging, and it may be beneficial to lean on a support system of friends and family members before making a decision. There may be numerous signs and considerations to consider before making the final decision to move forward or stay in a relationship. 

Goodbye and good luck: When is the time to move on?

Couples who experience rough patches may take occasional breaks to cool off or reflect on their situation. However, the healthiest decision may sometimes be to end a relationship permanently. Deciding to end a relationship isn’t often easy, and it may require deep reflection, honesty, and courage. Signs that it may be time to move on can include the following:  

• Unhappiness: Experiencing more unhappy moments than happy moments or feeling sadness may be signs that a relationship has run its course. 
• Change in values: People can change over time, and sometimes partners may grow in different directions. A couple’s goals and priorities may no longer be in alignment, and staying together may prevent both partners from living fulfilling lives.
• Toxic or harmful behavior: Healthy relationships are centered on respect and kindness. Toxic or harmful behaviors such as manipulation, controlling behavior, or verbal and physical abuse are often indicators to end a relationship.  
• Broken trust: Trust can be foundational to a healthy relationship, and actions that break trust, such as infidelity or dishonesty, can make it challenging for a partner to be comfortable in their relationship. 

If you or a loved one is experiencing abuse, contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Support is available 24/7.

Signs a relationship may be worth working for

Not all challenges that a couple faces are signs that a relationship is on the verge of ending. In some cases, couples may work together and fight for their relationship. One sign that a relationship is worth working for is that both partners care deeply about each other. While love alone may not fix all problems, when partners have empathy and respect for each other, it may be a sign that change is possible. Additionally, when a person inspires you to be a better person or has a positive soul, you can continue to strive for an improved emotional connection, fostering a stronger relationship. 

Prioritizing quality time to build romantic love

Rebuilding a connection when facing challenges in a relationship may include prioritizing quality time together as a couple. For example, you may take steps to minimize distractions, such as turning off the television or cell phone and engaging in hobbies or activities together. Quality time can be planned or spontaneous and may include activities such as having a morning coffee together, taking a short walk after dinner, or cuddling before bed. 

The value of time together may lie not in the amount of time a couple spends together, but in the quality of that time. A few focused, heartfelt minutes of genuine connection can be more impactful than hours spent together without real engagement. By making quality time a priority, couples can nurture their bond, strengthen romantic love, and create lasting memories.

Improving communication through body language and active listening

Communication may be a foundational element of any healthy relationship. Couples who communicate effectively have been shown to experience longer-lasting relationships than couples who communicate ineffectively. Effective communication may be more than just saying romantic words; it can also involve paying attention to body language and developing active listening skills. 

Improving communication through active listening

For individuals in a relationship, improved communication skills may start with active listening. Active listening skills involve paying attention and listening to a partner to build understanding, rather than listening to respond or make a point. When partners practice active listening, it can enhance connection and foster empathy, both of which can bring a couple closer together. 

Body language and romantic love

Communication may involve more than speaking and listening. Body language can also send valuable messages of love and caring to a partner. Gestures like a warm smile or sitting near a loved one can let them know that you care about them and want to build a connection. When listening to a partner, sit facing them to give them your full attention.  

Beyond good luck: Techniques to rekindle love and affection

In some cases, physical affection and intimacy may fade over time. Rekindling physical affection often involves more than luck, including effort from both partners. Strategies to improve affection may include setting time aside for physical affection, such as hugging, kissing, or cuddling. Physical touch may incite a release of oxytocin, which strengthens emotional connection. 

Each person expresses and receives love uniquely, and it may be beneficial to consider a partner’s love language when rekindling affection. Some may value words of affirmation, while others may appreciate acts of service, physical touch, quality time, or receiving gifts. Understanding and speaking your partner’s love language may rekindle affection in a meaningful way.

Mind-based strategies to improve connection

While working on a relationship as a couple is important, it may also be beneficial for partners to prioritize their own mental health. Focusing on personal growth and mental health can help a partner gain perspective and reduce stress, which may negatively impact interpersonal relationships. Mindfulness strategies for improving connection may include those below. 

Mindfulness strategies to gain perspective and improve mental health  

Mindfulness can be a powerful tool for enhancing mental well-being by promoting self-awareness, emotional regulation, and a greater sense of balance and equilibrium. Some strategies for gaining perspective may include journaling and self-reflective meditation. These techniques may require individuals to reflect on their lives and relationships in a calm and reflective environment. This process can put relationship issues into perspective and may encourage partners to see situations from the other person’s perspective. 

Strategies to calm the mind and build emotional connections

When communications in a relationship get heated, it can be helpful to have a toolbox of techniques to stay calm in the present moment. Techniques such as deep breathing strategies or grounding strategies, which require individuals to focus on their surroundings, can calm the mind. By staying calm, individuals can reduce the likelihood that an argument or disagreement may escalate due to emotional responses. 

Connecting with a mental health professional 

In addition to improving communication and implementing mindfulness strategies, couples may also consider consulting a mental health professional to enhance their mental health and emotional connection. A therapist can assess a person’s mental health holistically and make recommendations to improve interpersonal relationships tailored to the individual’s unique needs. For couples and individuals seeking to repair their relationships, online therapy can be an effective means of enhancing communication and developing strategies for a deeper connection.  

Couples may find it challenging to make time to attend in-person therapy sessions. Online therapy sessions, available through platforms like BetterHelp for individuals and Regain for couples, can occur anywhere with a personal device and an internet connection, providing couples with convenient access to support. In addition, online therapy is often more cost-effective. Studies have also found that many couples prefer online therapy, as it allows them to more comfortably talk about difficult topics from home and over a video format.