My Boyfriend Is The Best, But I Struggle To Maintain The Love

Relationships can be challenging, so it can be valuable to understand what it means to build a relationship and choose love intentionally. Emphasizing communication, growth, and choosing love can significantly contribute to maintaining and strengthening an individual's bond with their partner. In addition, it can foster understanding and minimize misunderstandings. Making a conscious decision to invest in the well-being of a partnership can often build a strong foundation of trust.

If you are unsure how to maintain a relationship with a boyfriend who loves you, you have a few options. Navigating challenges with your boyfriend and seeking external support can make a significant difference for some people. Couples may maintain and strengthen their bond by emphasizing communication and growth and choosing to love each other daily, cultivating a lasting, fulfilling partnership. Exploring various strategies to navigate the complexities of love and commitment can foster a meaningful and enduring relationship built on mutual growth.

Ways to maintain love for your boyfriend

If your boyfriend loves you, but you struggle to maintain love and connection, there are a few ways you may maintain your relationship, including the following. 

Embrace effective communication with your boyfriend

Embracing effective communication often paves the way for understanding, trust, and intimacy. There are several components to effective communication that couples can cultivate to strengthen their bond.

First, active listening and empathy can help partners foster a genuine connection. Active listening involves offering your full attention to your boyfriend while they speak, acknowledging their feelings, and striving to understand their perspective without judgment. This level of attentiveness creates an atmosphere of support and validation to nurture emotional intimacy.

Openness and honesty in expressing feelings and needs can also be vital for effective communication. Being transparent about emotions and desires can create an environment where both partners are safe to be vulnerable and impart their innermost thoughts. This openness may strengthen their bond and promote emotional growth. 

Encouraging constructive feedback and resolving conflicts healthily are other ingredients of a healthy communication strategy. By addressing disagreements calmly and respectfully, couples can work together to find solutions that satisfy both parties, ultimately fostering a sense of being "a team."

Finally, establishing a regular communication routine may help couples maintain open lines of communication, even amidst busy schedules. Setting aside dedicated time for meaningful conversations ensures that both partners remain connected and engaged with each other's lives, emotions, and opinions. 

Foster personal and relational growth for a better relationship

To be a healthy partner in a relationship, fostering your own growth and well-being may be essential. By nurturing individual and group development, couples can create a dynamic relationship that evolves and deepens over time. If you aren't growing in your relationship, it may be challenging to cope with your partner's growth, accept boundaries, or feel love and acceptance. 

Each partner may benefit from the opportunity to pursue their interests, passions, and goals, fostering a sense of autonomy and personal fulfillment. A supportive partner can encourage and celebrate their significant other's achievements, understanding that individual growth contributes to the relationship's overall health.

Participate in joint experiences and activities

Imparting experiences and activities is another way to strengthen the bond between partners. Whether you try a new hobby, travel, or participate in community events, these experiences can create lasting memories and build a stronger connection. 

Supporting each other's goals and dreams is often crucial to fostering connection. Encouraging a partner's aspirations can show them you value their happiness and well-being. This mutual support may build trust, respect, and a deeper emotional connection within the relationship. Try to choose fun activities that make you laugh, as laughter can reduce stress. 

Choose love every day and accept that no relationship is perfect

Love is an emotion and chemical process in the body. However, you can also choose "love" by choosing healthy behaviors and expressions of empathy and kindness to your partner. By recognizing love as an ongoing choice rather than a passive emotion, couples can actively cultivate a deeper connection and appreciation for one another. 

Time quotes sex therapist Esther Perel, saying, "Marriage used to be primarily a matter of economic sustenance, and it was a partnership for life. Mating today is a free-choice enterprise, and commitments are built on love. Intimacy has shifted from being a by-product of a long-term relationship to being a mandate for one." 

Understanding love as an ongoing choice can mean acknowledging that emotions can ebb and flow. However, commitment can involve consciously investing in the relationship, even when you aren't actively feeling the emotion of love. This mindset encourages partners to prioritize their connection and work through possible challenges.

Express the love you choose 

Making daily acts of love and appreciation a priority may significantly enhance a couple's emotional bond. Gestures like expressing gratitude, offering compliments, or providing support can strengthen the connection between partners. These acts of kindness and appreciation demonstrate the value each person places on the relationship.

Maintain interdependence 

Maintaining a healthy balance between individuality and togetherness is another aspect of choosing love. While it may be valuable for partners to prioritize the relationship, respecting each other's autonomy and personal growth can also be crucial. Couples can create a relationship that supports both partners' needs and desires by fostering a balance between togetherness and individuality (interdependence). 

Forbes states, "A healthy relationship is marked by both partners' efforts to maintain their individuality while also supporting each other in the relationship. Research suggests that maintaining a healthy balance between closeness and autonomy within romantic relationships is important for relationship harmony."

Keep passion alive 

Keeping passion alive at all relationship stages can help couples "choose love." Consider exploring ways to reignite your spark, such as trying new experiences together, setting aside time for intimacy, and openly discussing feelings and desires. By embracing these principles, couples may build a resilient and fulfilling relationship.

Navigate challenges as a team 

Couples may encounter various hurdles in their relationship. However, learning to overcome these challenges as a team can foster resilience and deepen the bond between partners. Recognizing common relationship challenges, such as communication breakdowns, differing expectations, or external stressors, is often the first step in addressing them. Developing coping mechanisms, such as mindfulness practices or problem-solving techniques, can help couples manage these stressors and maintain harmony in their relationship.

Strengthening resilience through teamwork and mutual support may help couples believe they're not alone. Seeing the conflict as "us against the problem" may help you find solutions. Couples can reinforce their commitment to each other and potentially compromise by working together. This collaborative approach can foster a sense of unity. 

In some cases, one partner may make a mistake, and the other may ask for an apology or accountability. In these cases, it may not be possible to see the problem objectively or "as a team." Working with a professional can help couples cope with these challenges and help each person communicate their side of the situation healthily without significant conflict. 

Talk to a professional and seek support 

Couples might consider seeking external support when they face persistent issues they struggle to resolve through personal efforts. In addition to professional help, couples can utilize self-help resources and relationship-building tools to strengthen their bond further. Books, podcasts, and courses may offer valuable insights and techniques to incorporate into daily routines, promoting growth and understanding. 

Navigating challenges together and seeking external support may enable couples to foster resilience, strengthen their connection, and maintain a healthy, fulfilling partnership. In addition, 70% of couples who attend couples therapy find it effective, even in the long term. 

Seek alternative support options if you believe, “My boyfriend is the best, but I can’t maintain the connection”

Some couples may face barriers to in-person therapy due to the cost of sessions, lack of reach to insurance, or long distance. In these cases, online therapy through a platform like BetterHelp for individuals or ReGain for couples may be beneficial. 

Online therapy can provide valuable insights to couples to guide them in nurturing and maintaining a thriving relationship. With an online platform, couples can meet their therapist from two locations if they are long-distance. In addition, the cost of some online platforms is the same as that of individual therapy online, which is significantly more affordable than in-person couples therapy. 

Studies have also backed up the effectiveness of online therapy. One study investigated adherence to different intervention methods, including online therapy. The randomized controlled trial considered sociodemographic variables, social-cognitive determinants, health-related variables, and expectations towards the treatment. It found that participants in the online therapy group were significantly more satisfied with their treatment than those in the face-to-face group. Relationship satisfaction and success satisfaction were equally high.

Takeaway

Maintaining a relationship with your boyfriend may involve adopting effective communication, personal and relational growth, and a conscious effort to nurture the bond. It can be beneficial to emphasize consistently while putting in the work, fostering open communication, and encouraging mutual development. By actively choosing to love your boyfriend and deliberately cultivating a fulfilling, lasting relationship, you may create a resilient partnership.

You're not alone if you struggle to cope with challenges in your relationship. Consider contacting a licensed individual or relationship therapist online or in your area for further guidance and support.