New Relationship Advice Couples Can Benefit From

New relationships can be complex while simultaneously being exciting and fun. If you’re in a new relationship, getting advice based on evidence-based studies on the health of relationships and how to make the most of a new connection may be helpful. As you explore this new part of your life, there are a few considerations to focus on, including conversations about the future, open communication, and interdependence. 

New relationship advice 

A new relationship is often filled with affection, romance, excitement, and optimism. Love and attraction are complex neurochemical processes, and the early days of a new romance can mean a more significant focus is placed on emotion and feelings than the logical foundations of a healthy relationship. It can be normal to enjoy the early days of your partnership. However, try to be cautious of foregoing serious conversations or ignoring potential red flags. If you want a long-lasting relationship, the union's early days can be the best time to develop foundational skills. 

While not all couples may benefit from the same relationship advice, there are themes common to healthy, happy relationships that may be helpful to investigate. Your new partnership is unique, but advice related to broad relationship skills or maintaining happiness through adversity might apply to most relationships, including yours. Below are a few bits of new relationship advice to consider. 

Prioritize communication from day one

Empathetic, kind communication can be one of the most critical skills in any relationship. Communication is a foundational skill that enables many other aspects of a happy relationship. For example, two partners who can communicate healthily with openness and honesty may have an easier time problem-solving and working together toward a common goal. 

The type of communication you use to foster a healthy relationship may not be something you were born knowing to do. Like some other skills, communication can take practice, and your partner may be at a different level of communication than you. Different levels of communication don’t necessarily mean you’re not compatible. However, watching for communication barriers early in the relationship may be crucial. 

Try not to shy away from setting boundaries or having difficult conversations if necessary. Avoiding communicating your needs can prevent your partner from learning what works for you in a partnership, and it may lead to resentment as early feelings fade into a stable romance. 

Have a conversation about sex

Some individuals may highly value sex in a romantic partnership. However, your sexual preferences and boundaries may differ from those of your new partner. According to studies, sexual compatibility may be a vital part of shaping the sexual functioning of an intimate partnership. Before you have sex, have a conversation about sexual health. Talk to your partner about sexually transmitted infections, whether they are willing to get tested before having sex, and what methods they prefer for preventing pregnancy or avoiding infections. 

Once health topics are discussed thoroughly, consider talking to your partner about sexual preferences. Discuss how consent is communicated, major do’s and don’ts during sex, and your needs before and after. If your partner is willing, you can also talk about mutual sexual desires and what you’re not interested in trying. 

Keep an eye out for red flags

Red flags are warning signs that may show your current dating situation is unhealthy. Red flags may include treating you with disrespect, not prioritizing you, disregarding boundaries, or threatening your safety. While some significant red flags could indicate the partnership's inevitable demise, you may have your own ideas of what you’re not looking for in a relationship.  

It may seem easier to dismiss significant red flags early in the partnership when brain chemistry might lead a person to disregard obvious warning signs. In the beginning, make a conscious effort to keep an eye out for dealbreakers that are meaningful to you and pay attention to your gut feelings.   

Keep your independence

Spending all your time with your partner may be tempting, especially when a partnership is new. You might forgo old friendships, spend less time with family, or disregard previous hobbies and interests. Similarly, you might lean on your partner over the rest of your support network. While some emotional interdependence is a normal and healthy part of relationships, maintaining a balance can be vital.

Ensure you continue to seek support from friends and family, focus on your interests, and take occasional time for yourself. Evidence suggests that occasional solitude can significantly boost your overall well-being, which may benefit your relationship.  

Make every date a first date

Couples may go on more interesting, unique, or adventurous dates when newly dating. Over time, the frequency and quality of dates might drop as the couple settles into a stable pattern. Try to keep going on dates throughout your entire partnership, making each date meaningful. 

Couples may bond easily during their first several dates because they exchange information about themselves, assess personality traits, and enjoy a personal story from their dating partner. As the partnership progresses, it may become more challenging to bond as you may know more about your partner. However, it can be beneficial to put effort into finding new sources of conversation, shared activities, or other topics that can bring partners closer together. John Gottman, a psychologist and relationship expert, recommends being fully present on a date to bolster dating quality long-term. 

Be honest

In the early days of dating, it might be tempting to embellish personal stories or downplay negative features about yourself. Avoid misrepresenting yourself, as doing so could cause problems later on. Evidence suggests that a lack of trust is one of the strongest predictors of relationship problems. 

Being honest may help your current partner better understand how you navigate life and allow them to accept you as you are. If you believe you must hide parts of yourself from your partner, it may be worthwhile to focus on self-improvement and tackle the parts of yourself you don’t want to share before dating. 

Start talking about the future early

You and your partner may have individual goals and aspirations. Discussing these goals early in the partnership may be helpful to get a sense of whether you are on the same page about a shared future. For example, if your partner is desperate to start a family, but you know you never want kids, a discussion about children could potentially avoid difficult emotions and heartbreak later. Your partner may seem like the perfect person, but conflict could develop if their idea of the future differs substantially from yours. These conversations can be crucial if you’re seeking a long-term relationship that ends in marriage or commitment. 

Take a present-focused approach

Talking about past relationships may be a regular part of early dating. However, try not to make assumptions about your current relationship. For example, if a past partner was unfaithful, it may increase the difficulty of giving that same level of trust to your next partner. However, the past is in the past—If you find your partner trustworthy enough to date, extend that trust to them. Past trauma and adversity can significantly interfere with a new partnership. Still, there are ways to address challenges associated with previous adverse experiences and prevent them from affecting your romantic life. 

Tackle conflict and ask for relationship advice before it becomes overwhelming

It may be tempting to avoid tackling problems early in a romantic partnership. A couple may notice deficiencies in certain areas but, instead of addressing them directly, might avoid discussing them or disregard them completely. The best relationship advice may be to tackle those concerns head-on without delay. One way to do so is to speak to a couples counselor or therapist. While some people believe couples counseling is only for long-term couples on the verge of breakup, any couple can talk to a therapist.  

Couples counseling for relationship advice

Couples counselors can guide skill-building and establish the foundations of a healthy partnership. Counseling may be beneficial if one or both partners experienced trauma in a past partnership, struggled to attach to a partner healthily, or had a history of being uncomfortable with communication. Evidence suggests that couples counseling improves satisfaction in over 70% of relationships, but the process is often easier and simpler if counseling is initiated in the early stages of a relationship. 

Online therapy for guidance in your new relationships

If you face barriers to in-person therapy, you might consider online therapy through a platform like BetterHelp for individuals or ReGain for couples to more easily access therapy. With an online platform, you can attend therapy from home. In addition, couples can attend sessions from two locations if the relationship is long-distance. 

Online therapists have the same training and credentials as traditional therapists and practice using the same evidence-based techniques, such as behavioral therapy for couples. Online therapy has seen a recent surge in users, prompting researchers to investigate whether treatment delivered remotely works as well as therapy delivered face-to-face. The evidence indicates that online therapy is as effective as in-person alternatives.

Takeaway

New romantic partnerships are often fun and exciting. However, some couples may get caught up in newfound feelings of love and attraction. When starting a relationship, continue to prioritize your independence, keep an eye out for red flags, and avoid ignoring potential conflict. In addition, prioritize honest communication and begin setting appropriate boundaries. 

It may also be helpful to have conversations with your partner about future plans and aspirations. If you see problems early, it doesn’t necessarily mean you and your dating partner are incompatible. Regardless of the state of your relationship, it may be helpful to consider individual or couples therapy to address pressing concerns or learn more about healthy relationship building.