Learning From A Power Couple

The Oxford Language Dictionary definition of a “power couple” is “a couple consisting of two people who are each influential or successful in their own right.” In media and popular culture, this definition is often expanded to refer to a couple that is well-liked and seems to have a strong relationship—or, as the top entry in Urban Dictionary puts it, “a relationship between two people who are equally as cool as each other [...] Together, they are the epitome of what anyone would desire in a relationship.” Individuals might also browse sources like the Getty Images database to see examples of what society might consider power couples.

Secret life of power couples

Despite public opinion, no one may know the health of a couple except the couple themselves and potentially their loved ones. Factors like social media sometimes incentivize people to make their relationships look happier or filled with more mutual love than they are. In addition, people and their connections are unique and everyone can love differently, so it may be impossible or unfair to hold all people to the same standard. However, despite these barriers, some may strive to be in a relationship that fits the “power couple” label and is healthy for both parties.

What makes a power couple?

Below are traits and behaviors often considered part of being a “power couple” in society.

Both partners are committed to being a couple

While the traditional “power couple” may make having a family and relationship appear effortless, all relationships can involve effort. Relationships might be viewed as joint projects: They often involve consistent dedication from both parties to regularly put in the work to be lovers and remain close friends. A lack of effort from one or both people may lead to failure in the relationship.

Relationships often benefit from attention and effort to flourish. In looking at high-profile relationships, society may understand that, while they may make it look as easy as love at first sight, power couples on social media or in the tabloids often put in as much work as anyone to make their relationship function. Be aware of the tendency to let your perception of another couple's effort levels make you believe there’s something wrong with your relationship.

They both have their own strengths

A “traditional” power couple or healthy relationship may consist of people who are successful in their respective fields. Throughout these relationships, prolific people and their partners may find time to continue to focus on their careers. While wild career success is not a factor in a healthy relationship for everyone, some may find helpful takeaways from this aspect of a power couple dynamic. This dynamic may arise from interdependence, which means being able to depend on each other and oneself simultaneously. Couples who flourish outside of their relationship and continue to follow their individual dreams may form healthier connections.

Each person in these couples may have their own strengths, ensuring a positive, balanced dynamic. Scientific evidence may support this idea. One study found that “partners in the happiest pairs both believe they have a measure of power” and that “how lovers perceive power dynamics in their relationship is most important.”

They keep their conflicts between them

Although the public might not witness conflicts between a couple, they can still occur. With some power couples in the public eye, for example, people assume that these individuals never disagree or get upset with each other because they’ve never seen headlines about their problems. However, their personal lives might be significantly different. Whether people have been together for two months or two decades, conflict is often an inherent part of being in a relationship with another person. While some relationships may be low conflict, they may not be naturally perfect. Some couples may have a dynamic that allows them to avoid certain conflicts. 

Public arguments or including your friends in couple fights may not be the healthiest way to handle disputes. In these cases, a relationship therapist's perspective may be helpful to couples who want to learn about different tools and strategies for resolving conflict healthily. A trained professional can also help couples identify unhealthy patterns that may be present and uncover ways to improve them.

They support each other

According to the above study, healthy levels of connection allow couples to support each other without losing their respective senses of self. Supporting each other might mean giving each other space to learn more about yourselves individually and coming together to offer emotional guidance, advice, and companionship. You might look to power couples as inspiration and guidance, but continue valuing your unique relationship dynamic and how you and your partner relate. What works for other people might not work for you. Each couple is unique, so consider finding ways to support each other that help you know you are loved and accepted. If you struggle with this process, talking to a therapist might be helpful.

Supportive power couples show that a balance of independence and interconnectedness may encourage a pair to thrive individually and as a couple. This balance can involve each person taking responsibility for building a fulfilling, independent life and both supporting that goal in the other.

If you’re inspired by power couples in your life, online, or in the media, you might want to cultivate some of the qualities you notice in them. Talking to an individual or couples therapist may help you grow and meet your relationship goals. However, if you face barriers to in-person therapy, like the cost of couples therapy, you might be hesitant to try.

Virtual therapy as a couple

Online therapy through a platform like BetterHelp for individuals or Regain for couples may be helpful for those who face these barriers. Through an online platform, couples can meet for the same cost as individual therapy and meet from separate locations if necessary. In addition, online platforms often offer resources like support groups and worksheets.

Studies show online therapy may be effective. In one study, clients found it easier to build a personal relationship with their provider through online therapy than in-person sessions. They found that couples could open up more freely with their therapist over video calls with the provider.