10 Conversation Topics To Talk About With A Boy

Medically reviewed by April Justice, LICSW
Updated October 14, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

It may feel intimidating to get a conversation rolling with someone you’re romantically interested in, and you may worry that you won’t have things to talk about. You might see this reflected in media that shows subjects sweating, stumbling over their words, and acting uncomfortably when speaking with a love interest. As some may know, this bodily response can be a natural occurrence before you start talking.

Pop culture and social media may make it seem like interesting conversations are hard to have, however, there are some ways to help make the conversation enjoyable for everyone. If you're learning how to talk to a boy or a girl effortlessly in real life, it may be beneficial to have a few conversation starters ready and know what to talk about when these nervous interactions arise. Topics to talk about with a boy or girl may vary based on culture, interests, and age, having a few in mind may be a good idea. With practice, you may become more comfortable and confident in approaching others. Having a great conversation starter can help to get the conversation flowing. Consider the following ten conversation topics to bring up with any romantic interest.

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Do you struggle with communication?

Talking with a romantic interest 101

Getting to know someone before dating is important, if a potential partner will demand extravagant things, or if they have had rocky past relationships, it might be good to know before starting a new relationship. Before the ten conversation topics, below are a couple of general tips for potentially keeping a calm and focused mindset while speaking with someone you’re genuinely interested in.

Be yourself

At times, societal expectations may cause us to believe that we must act a certain way and most guys or girls may put on a particular “mask” to impress others. This temptation may be present at all stages of life. However, if you are keen on impressing someone, you might find yourself speaking in ways that aren’t true to yourself.

However, people are often more intuitive than we may believe, and others can often pick up on inauthenticity. Studies show that first impressions can play a large part in whether a relationship succeeds. If this is someone you’d like to date in the future, you may base the time you spend with this person on forming a genuine connection instead of a false first impression.

Feeling calm in social situations may feel difficult. Consider focusing on the other person through techniques of active listening. If you struggle with eye contact, you might try pretending to look past the person’s head, or focus on the bridge of their nose, instead of looking directly in their eyes.

Accepting who you are and not trying to hide any aspect of yourself may also radiate a casual and relaxed self-confidence that others are drawn to and may trigger funny conversations that leave you both with a good laugh, which can increase your connection to each other.

Build your self-confidence

Many people find confidence attractive. Confidence can be something you build up over time and is a skill you can learn in your free time which may help to keep a girl or guy interested in learning more.

Ask yourself what makes you feel most confident. Reflect on that question and maximize your time doing things that build up your self-image. Prioritize people who make you feel good about who you are. Confidence can be built from challenging ourselves and overcoming those challenges. You can then project your confidence with open, comfortable, confident body language cues.

Ask yourself about your goals and make an organized plan to achieve them. You may someday find yourself so wrapped up in making your dreams a reality that talking to a romantic interest feels easy compared to the other exciting things in your life.

10 topics to talk about with a boy

If you’re going to have a conversation with a romantic interest, you may benefit from using funny, relaxed, and kind conversation starters. 

If you struggle with social anxiety or worry about what to say in a conversation, these ten topics may be a good conversation starter that you can discuss with someone you’d like to get to know better romantically and may leave a good impression that leads to future plans for a date.

iStock/ferrantraite

1. Their interests

Consider asking about the person’s interests or about other interesting topics the person may enjoy. You don’t need to pry, overly personal questions, or push someone to answer things they aren’t comfortable discussing. However, many individuals enjoy talking more about themselves and asking questions shows that you have a genuine interest in getting to know them better.

If they trust you enough to talk about their interests, return the favor by making eye contact, paying close attention, and asking follow-up questions. This opportunity may help you learn something new and determine if you have shared interests. Because it’s something they enjoy, they may speak about it freely, even without being prompted. By actively listening to someone, you may also pick up on who they are and what makes them light up.

Here are some open-ended questions to start a conversation about someone’s interests:

  • Do you have a current passion project?
  • Are you a sports fan? If so, who’s your favorite athlete and why?
  • How do you spend your time outside of work or school?
  • Do you have any hobbies?
  • Are you a dog or cat person?
  • Do you have a favorite class or teacher? Why?
  • What is your dream job? 
  • When you were young, what did you want to be when you grew up?
  • What is your favorite thing in the world?
  • What kinds of current events are you most interested in?
  • What is your fashion sense? 

2. Vacations, trips, or weekends

Many people meet in school, at work, or online, and it may be hard to move away from those more serious conversation topics onto something new. You can get to know them outside of those contexts by asking about how they spend their leisure time on vacation, traveling, or even on weekends.

Here are some conversation starters in this area:

  • What did you do this weekend?
  • Are you going on vacation this year? Who are you going with?
  • Do you like to travel?
  • Where is your dream vacation?
  • On vacation, do you want to relax, or are you more active?

3. Siblings and family

Asking about siblings can be casual at first, but it may lead to more personal conversations later. If you don’t know each other very well yet, then you can keep this topic general, then only lead to more specific questions once you know them better.

  • Do you have any siblings? Are you the oldest or the youngest?
  • Do you have a sibling you’re closest with?
  • Did you like being an only child?
  • Which of your parents did you influence your personality?
  • What were you like as a kid?
  • Do you have a favorite childhood memory? 
  • Do you have a funny story from your childhood?

4. Goals

Not everyone has a five-year plan. However, asking about short-term and long-term goals may help you get an idea of what’s important to someone. When they talk about their goals, try to be encouraging. They may realize they can come to you for emotional support.

If you can use actual examples from things you’ve noticed about them, then it can make for a very warm, well-timed compliment. For instance, if they tell you that they want to study history, you could say, “I think you would be very good at that. I’ve always thought you were very analytical and intuitive.”

You may ask the following questions:

  • What’s your plan for the next year?
  • Do you have any specific career goals?
  • Are you working on any cool projects?

5. Upcoming events in your area

If you live near your romantic interest, cool events may be happening nearby that you can discuss, like a fair, a movie premier, a concert, or a dance. You may ask them if they plan on going.

Talking about the types of events you enjoy could also be a gateway to asking someone on a date or going to the event together with friends.

6. Mutual friends

Talking to someone you’re romantically interested in one-on-one may feeling pressuring at times. A possible way to ease into getting to know each other can be hanging out in larger groups first.

Ask the person about their group of friends or their best friend. If you already have friends, invite them into your group. With more friends around, they may feel more comfortable opening up, which could provide more conversation starters.

7. Mutual projects

Some people may be less chatty than others. They may enjoy different ways of learning about someone new. For example, some people like to get to know you by doing something together rather than talking about things together.

If that’s the case, you might invite them to play your favorite sports game with your friends or to work on a school project together. With activities like these, you can potentially spend time together without putting too much importance on the conversation itself.

8. Food

Food can be fun to talk about since many people like it, and it may also be a relatively safe topic when you first get to know each other. Talk about restaurants in your area that you like and those that you don’t like.

Ask them what they like to cook and suggest your favorites. Since this is often a harmless topic, it may be a fun way to flirt. You might decide to spark a friendly or joking debate about a food you don’t like or challenge them to a cook-off for a date night.

9. Music

Do you use an app to listen to music and save your playlists? Ask to compare your music tastes to their tastes and check out what the other person listens to.

Talk about your favorite bands and ask to learn about theirs. Show them some music videos that you love. If you’re both music lovers, you could even make playlists for each other, catering to each person’s interests.

10. Movies and media

Is there a series that is quite popular right now? Ask them if they’ve seen it. Ask about a movie that you both saw so that you might discuss and analyze it. You may find hours of enjoyable conversation from talking about TV shows and movies that you both enjoy. Humor can be powerful and talking about funny movies or telling funny stories might be a good plan as laughter is an emotion that brings people together. 

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Do you struggle with communication?

Work with a counselor

Sometimes, despite your best efforts to communicate and connect, symptoms of anxiety can get in the way. If you experience social anxiety, a counselor may give you insight on how to improve your social skills and manage anxiety.

If you’re not comfortable meeting a counselor in person, online therapy can be a valuable option. A study in Hong Kong found that internet-based cognitive therapy showed “highly promising” effectiveness in treating social anxiety. Talking to a therapist online is typically more affordable than talking to one in person, making the process available to many more people than in the past.

If you decide you’d like to try counseling, you can look through the databases of therapists available on sites like BetterHelp, which offers online counseling for a variety of concerns.

Takeaway

Talking to a romantic interest may be an excellent opportunity to get to know someone better. If you are experiencing some fear or anxiety about talking to someone new, you might choose to start working on your self-confidence, being genuine, and having conversation topics in mind beforehand.

If you are also interested in the insight of a mental health professional, consider reaching out and taking the first step.

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