Gestures And Non-Verbal Communication In Relationships

In interpersonal communication, the power and significance of non-verbal communication cannot be understated, especially in the context of relationships. This silent language may speak louder than verbal communication and can include a range of non-verbal cues like facial expressions, body language, and touch. These nonverbal communication types can sometimes reveal intention, emotions, and attitudes more accurately than words. For this reason, a complete understanding and effective use of this form of communication can be crucial. 

Non-verbal communication in relationships: A fundamental pillar

Non-verbal communication can be a fundamental pillar in interpersonal communication, pivotal in shaping relationships. Effectively interpreting and responding to nonverbal cues can significantly improve interpersonal communication and contribute to relationship satisfaction. Mastering nonverbal communication and its various cues, like facial expression, body language, and touch, may influence the quality of interpersonal relationships and mental health. 

Understanding non-verbal cues

Non-verbal cues are intricate forms of communication that extend beyond words, manifesting in facial expressions, body movements, postures, and eye contact. This silent language can be a significant part of non-verbal communication skills, allowing individuals to express emotions, attitudes, and intentions without speaking. In some cases, these non-verbal signals can communicate feelings more accurately than verbal communication and provide an unfiltered glimpse into an individual’s inner state. 

Non-verbal cues like avoiding eye contact can reveal someone’s true feelings

Non-verbal cues often manifest involuntarily, revealing someone’s true feelings or thoughts even when spoken words suggest otherwise. Indicators like a furrowed brow, a soft smile, or avoided eye contact, for example, can express a range of emotions without a single spoken word. 

Non-verbal communication in relationships may reinforce or contradict verbal messages

Non-verbal communication may reinforce or contradict verbal messages. This reinforcement or contradiction may add a layer of complexity to interpersonal exchanges, especially in high-stakes conversations where underlying emotions can inadvertently surface. Accurate decoding of non-verbal signals may enable a better understanding of others and create awareness around one's emotional expressions.

Non-verbal communication like body language can be a biological response

Certain non-verbal behaviors, such as expressions of fear or happiness, may be understood universally and can transcend cultures and languages. Thus, these behaviors may indicate a form of biological response ingrained in human behavior. In some cases, even a subtle shift in a person’s body language or the boundaries of personal space they hold can significantly alter the non-verbal messages conveyed. Understanding these signals can form the foundation of effective non-verbal communication and may impact both personal and professional interactions.

The influence of non-verbal communication in relationships

Non-verbal communication can significantly influence relationships, often playing a role in building trust, expressing emotions, and resolving conflict. Some types of non-verbal communication, like certain facial expressions or maintaining eye contact, for example, may express an individual’s emotions more accurately than spoken words. 

Correlations between non-verbal cues and relationship satisfaction

Correlations may also exist between effectively using non-verbal cues and relationship satisfaction. For example, couples skilled at interpreting each other’s non-verbal communications may be more content in their relationships. According to Forbes:

Communicating non-verbally such as eye contact and body language

“[Non-verbal] communication allows people to communicate information about their needs, attitudes, emotions, and intentions without using words. Non-verbal communication can be healing and informative to couples when used in non-passive-aggressive ways. ‘Good nonverbal communication looks like relaxed posture, mirroring body language and eye contact while talking,’ says Epstein (a licensed marriage and family therapist).”

Pitfalls of non-verbal communication

Still, the power of non-verbal cues may involve pitfalls. Misinterpreting these cues, whether via a misunderstood glance or misreading body language, can lead to unnecessary conflicts and tension. While the verbal message may communicate one idea, the receiver could understand an entirely different message if the non-verbal cues are misinterpreted. Thus, learning how to communicate non-verbally can be a cornerstone for a healthy and satisfying relationship.

The connection between non-verbal cues and mental health

Non-verbal communication is often closely connected to mental health. Miscommunication or misunderstanding of non-verbal cues can have significant implications for an individual’s mental well-being, potentially leading to stress, anxiety, or feelings of isolation. For example, consistently misinterpreting someone’s nonverbal cues could foster self-doubt or anxiety, hampering personal interactions and relationships. 

Contrarily, proficiency in non-verbal communication can contribute to one’s mental health. Effective communication can foster a sense of confidence in social scenarios, enhancing self-esteem. Additionally, navigating the silent language of body movements and facial expressions can improve social connections, leading to more meaningful and satisfying relationships. This skill may also reduce loneliness by fostering a sense of belonging and understanding, further promoting mental well-being. Investing time and effort into understanding this subtle language can be a proactive step toward improved mental health. 

Strategies for enhancing non-verbal communication skills

Developing effective nonverbal communication skills can be a dynamic process honed through practical strategies. You might start by developing more self-awareness about your non-verbal cues. 

Body scanning mindfulness 

You can also pay attention to how other people respond to you. For example, if people are moving away or toward you, there may be a cause. If you notice someone slightly moving backward while standing close to them, it could be a sign to physically distance yourself. By body scanning and being mindful of your environment, you are practicing mindfulness, which studies have found to be an effective method of coping with anxiety and stress.

Roleplaying exercises

Role-playing exercises can be beneficial in learning more about non-verbal communication. By simulating different scenarios, individuals can practice recognizing and interpreting non-verbal cues and improving their ability to communicate more effectively in real-life situations. Another powerful technique is “mirroring,” where individuals subtly mimic the nonverbal cues of those around them. This technique can foster empathy, understanding, and deeper connections between individuals.  

Professional support 

Finally, if an individual finds navigating the nuances of non-verbal communication particularly challenging, seeking professional help may be beneficial. For example, an individual might try seeing a mental health professional or attending communication workshops.

Seeking online therapy

People with challenges with non-verbal communication may also have trouble reaching out to a therapist. These challenges may cause them to experience social anxiety, for instance, or they may be nervous about discussing their issues with a stranger. In these circumstances, online therapy may be more suitable. 

Online support options 

Online therapy services like BetterHelp may provide benefits for those looking to improve their non-verbal communication skills. Remote counseling enables individuals to learn and practice new skills in a familiar environment and to choose between phone, video, or live chat sessions. Additionally, online therapy often comes with flexible scheduling so that individuals can attend their sessions at a convenient time. 

While specific research on teletherapy's effectiveness in improving patients' non-verbal communication skills remains limited, recent studies shed light on its potential. One study exploring therapists' experiences of teletherapy found that therapists with strong non-verbal emotional expressiveness reported improved experiences in therapy when transitioning from in-person to teletherapy. 

Using a sample of 323 therapists, the study found positive correlations between therapists' non-verbal emotional expressiveness, effective communication, and perceived skills in teletherapy. Therapists proficient in expressing emotions non-verbally felt their abilities translated effectively to the online format. This result may suggest that teletherapy can be an effective platform for clients to learn and improve their non-verbal communication skills.