Fun And Easy Things To Talk About With Your Crush Early On

Trying to ask your crush out but struggling to keep the conversation flowing? Engaging in great conversation starters can be a fun way to help you connect with your crush and make a great first impression. Discover your crush's hobbies and favorite TV show to feel more confident and prepared for a successful talk. Dive into deep questions and conversation topics to reveal your true self and keep your crush intrigued.

It’s human nature to be nervous when trying to connect with your crush. Read on for a few tips that may help you to feel more confident and prepared to have a light-hearted, fun, successful talk with your crush.

Conversation starters: Your dream job, favorite childhood memory, and more

Finding mutual interests and common ground is crucial for breaking the ice and easing into a conversation with your crush. If you're unsure about their likes and dislikes, try keeping the conversation light and using conversation starters about their childhood memories, dream job, favorite TV show, or guilty pleasure. Explore their responses to identify points of connection, helping you foster trust and keep your crush talking. By delving into interesting things to talk about with your crush, you'll create a comfortable atmosphere for both of you.

For example, if they're from another city you've visited, share your favorite memories or holiday traditions from your trip. If your friend works in the same industry, discuss interesting insights or their biggest pet peeve about the field. If they have a hobby you're curious about, ask for advice on getting started or inquire about their weirdest fear related to it. 

Some other things that can help you fill the awkward silence include: 

• What do they think is the most annoying song?
• What is their favorite movie?
• What’s their favorite way to spend their free time?
• Are they a night owl or a morning person?
• How did they meet their best friend?
• Do they know any funny jokes? What’s the funniest joke they know?
• What’s the most romantic thing anyone’s ever done for them?
• What’s the funniest thing they’ve ever seen?
• What is their most embarrassing moment?
• Who’s their favorite fictional character or historical figure?
• What was their school life like?
• What’s their favorite meal?
• In a fictional world, would they live underwater or out in space?
• What’s the most interesting thing about them?
• What’s their most prized possession?
• What’s the silliest thing they’ve ever done?
• What’s their favorite drink to have at the bar?

It makes good sense to opt for open-ended questions to encourage deep conversation, and don't forget to be an attentive listener. According to an article in the International Journal of Listening, active listeners show engaged body language, avoid judgment, and ask clarifying questions to demonstrate genuine interest in the things they're talking about.

Ultimately, engaging others by asking about their lives and interests is a timeless approach backed by science. Discussing their favorite childhood memory, celebrity crushes, favorite books, or even some of their weird habits can stimulate dopamine release, creating a feel-good experience. People value sharing information and thoughts, so focusing on their personality type or preferences while maintaining respectful boundaries can be an excellent starting point to deepen your connection and get your crush talking. Ask your crush about themselves, their life, what they like, and what they think—taking care to not be too invasive while you’re just getting to know them, of course—can be a great place to start when talking about things.

Things to talk about to flirt with your crush

A 2020 study about flirting states that it’s “an essential aspect of human interaction and key for the formation of intimate relationships.” If you have a crush interested in potentially developing a romantic relationship, a bit of flirting and flirty questions can help signal your desire and build rapport. However, it’s generally important to avoid appearing aggressive when talking or flirting with your crush so you don’t send the wrong message. A flirty dynamic typically builds over time, so paying attention to your crush's preferences and not coming on too strong can show them that you have good judgment and emotional intelligence.

The study cited above identifies three key components or practices that its participants rated as most effective when it comes to flirting. These are:

1. Having good non-verbal behavior, such as positive, open body language
2. Being intelligent, which can manifest as being able to hold a deep topic conversation and showing interest in the other person
3. A gentle approach, as discussed above, in regards to not being too aggressive

One of the most important things to talk about when flirting with someone you like is to monitor how they seem to be reacting. If they try to stop talking to you, display closed-off body language, or otherwise seem uncomfortable, you may want to pull back. Respect is one of the most important things in this type of interaction.

Is it important to know and accept yourself?

Knowing and being your true self can help you feel more comfortable in social interactions and be a stronger conversational partner, whether you’re speaking to your crush or anyone else. First of all, research shows that authenticity is “positively linked to measures of subjective happiness, self-esteem, and life satisfaction.” One reason might be that if you know and accept yourself, you may be more confident in who you are, which others can pick up on and may even be drawn to while spending time together.

Getting to know and accepting yourself is often a journey, not something you can do overnight—but it can have far-reaching benefits in your life. Introspection through activities like journaling or mindfulness meditation may help you get in touch with your most authentic self. Therapy is another method since a therapist may be able to help you uncover false patterns of thinking about yourself or unearth other obstacles to self-love that may exist. Engaging in a favorite hobby, eating your favorite food, watching a TV show, or even talking about your parents' relationship in a serious discussion can provide insights into your inner workings, your identity, and your preferences.

Nervousness vs. social anxiety when talking to your crush

Talking to someone you’re romantically interested in, like a crush, can be a bit nerve-wracking for many people, whether you meet them in person or through a dating app. However, if the nervousness you feel when thinking about or going into conversations like these takes the form of or escalates into high anxiety, there may be other factors at play.

Social anxiety is a mental health condition that makes social interaction more difficult or nearly impossible for those who experience it. It’s characterized by mental and/or physical symptoms of anxiety in relation to social interaction, such as nausea, rapid heartbeat, fear of being negatively judged or perceived, and even avoidance of social situations as a result. Discussing topics like your favorite tattoo or unrealistic dream job might help ease the tension, but if you prefer calling instead of texting, it's essential to communicate that to the other person. If you think you might be experiencing social anxiety, speaking with a therapist can be a useful tool in managing your symptoms.

How therapy can help you find things to talk about with your crush

Talking to your crush can be more difficult if you’re experiencing negative self-talk, feelings of hopelessness, difficulty concentrating, or other symptoms of depression—and likewise with feeling restless, irritable, having difficulty controlling levels of worry, or other symptoms of anxiety. The same goes for social anxiety and other mental health conditions too. A therapist may be able to help people with these conditions shift their thought patterns and otherwise manage their symptoms. However, even those who do not have a mental health condition may benefit from therapy. It can help you build self-esteem and stronger communication skills, get to know yourself, and learn other tools for making connections, having meaningful conversations, and building healthy relationships. 

Research also suggests that virtual therapy can be just as effective as in-person sessions. With a virtual therapy platform like BetterHelp, you can get connected with a licensed mental health professional who you can communicate with via phone call, video call, and/or chat from the comfort of your own home. Online and in-person therapy are both viable, valuable options for receiving care. Generally, the important thing is to choose the method that feels right for you.