Subjects & Topics To Discuss With Your Boyfriend Or Significant Other

Medically reviewed by Nikki Ciletti, M.Ed, LPC
Updated October 14, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Conversation often plays a significant role in relationships, and engaging in good conversation with your boyfriend can help you build a stronger bond, gain a deeper understanding of each other, and address any issues you may be experiencing. You might talk about topics that help you get to know each other, current affairs and pop culture, thought-provoking subjects, lighthearted topics, or intimate matters. Thinking about things to talk about can be challenging and conversation starters may feel unnatural at first, especially if they require a serious answer. A couples therapist, whether online or in person, can help you and your partner improve your communication skills, even if you don’t have the healthiest relationship right now. Below, we’re providing several thought-provoking topics and conversation tips that can help you better understand your boyfriend and strengthen the connection you have.  

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Are you having trouble talking with your boyfriend?

Tips for talking about topics with your boyfriend

Bringing up interesting ideas to your boyfriend can show him that you have a genuine interest in his thoughts, passions, and aspirations. Because you likely already know each other fairly well, these conversations can allow you to dive deeper than you might with new acquaintances. As you work to communicate with your boyfriend, keeping a few tips in mind can help you foster engaging conversations. 

When you talk with your boyfriend, try to listen actively to what he’s saying. Providing nonverbal affirmations, such as head nods, can indicate that you’re paying attention. Try to maintain eye contact and avoid formulating a response while he’s talking. Instead, listen intently, and when he’s finished speaking, consider summarizing each main point to signal that you understood. Then, you can provide your own perspective on the topic. 

Choosing a conversation starter 

In addition to utilizing these tips regarding how to converse with your boyfriend, it can help to have some ideas regarding what to discuss with him. Subjects of conversation with a partner can vary widely. You can ask your boyfriend everything from his favorite coffee shop to the best meal he ever had to the most memorable birthday gift he received as a child. The following are conversation topics that can help you and your boyfriend have engaging, interesting discussions. 

Speak about personal life stories

One way to get to know each other on a deeper level might be through exchanging interesting stories from your real life. You could ask your partner about their upbringing, family members, best friends, biggest fears, or any significant experiences they have had. Likewise, you could talk about your experiences or describe the craziest thing that has happened to you and pay attention to their reactions and opinions.

Learning more about your boyfriend’s most treasured memories, childhood best friend, or closest family members can help you better understand who he is. And discussing your personal life stories—whether they’re related to your first car or your favorite thing about your childhood—can help him connect with you. 

Talking about interests and hobbies

Some of the most engaging topics to talk about are those centered around your passions. Discussing a common interest or personal hobby can help to keep the conversation going. You could inquire about how your boyfriend likes spending time and discuss any interests you may not have explored yet. This could help both of you find common ground and better understand what brings happiness to the other. For example, you might find that scuba diving is one thing you’ve both always wanted to do. You also may use a more lighthearted conversation starter like asking about their favorite fictional character, their favorite season, or what their favorite subject in school was.

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Aspirations and dream job

Another way to get to know each other might be by discussing aspirations and dreams. You could ask your boyfriend what his long-term career goals is or his dream job. This may provide an understanding of each other's motivations and aspirations and enable you to offer your partner support in achieving them. You may also discuss thoughts around future kids and whether you want children or not.

News and current events to talk about

Staying informed on current events and discussing them with your partner could be a good idea. Try asking them  their thoughts on current affairs. This could even spark a deeper discussion on how these developments could affect your plans and future together.

Popular culture

Discussing popular culture can be interesting. For example, you can ask him what TV shows he’s watching, movies he’s recently enjoyed, or the last thing he listened to on a music streaming service. This might give you a better understanding of each other's tastes and preferences; and asking him the last movie he watched can help you come up with ideas for your next movie night.

Thought-provoking discussions

Thought-provoking discussions may challenge our beliefs, perspectives, and assumptions and encourage us to think deeply and critically about a topic. Having these deep discussions with your partner can help you grow closer, you may even schedule discussions in one-week segments to get a better understanding of who your partner is. 

Philosophy and ethics

Philosophical and ethical concepts, such as the meaning of life, morality, and beliefs in religion, could be discussed. While these can be controversial, remembering to respect each other's opinions and creating a safe space for both of you to express yourselves can prevent conflicts from occurring. 

Society and culture

Discussing society and culture, including your political views, your opinions on social issues, and your perspectives on current events, could be insightful. Not only could it help you and your boyfriend understand each other more deeply, but it could also help you broaden your perspective of the world in general.

Science and technology

You could also discuss science and technology, including recent advancements and their impact on society. This could provide an understanding of each other's perspectives and foster discussions about the future.

Lighthearted topics

Life can be stressful and overwhelming at times, and finding ways to relieve stress and bring joy and laughter into our lives is often important. One way to do this can be by engaging in lighthearted topics. You may ask about their dream vacation, fashion sense, or favorite food they have eaten which may spark fun conversations. 

Consider asking him what his “perfect day” might entail or how his dream house would be designed. Or ask him about funny stories involving him and a friend. It is also fun to discuss your own annoying habits or choose one “deal breaker” that you have when entering a relationship. These conversations can be not only easy to broach but also informative, potentially helping you understand how your boyfriend prefers to spend his time, what his goals are, or simply where he likes to eat. 

Humor and jokes

Lightening the mood by telling jokes and funny stories could be a good idea. You could ask your boyfriend about his favorite jokes, funny memories or to tell you about his most embarrassing moment. Bringing a smile to each other's faces and laughing together by making something funny happen, can be a great way to start your conversations.

Trivia and quizzes

Another idea could be to test each other's knowledge with trivia and quizzes. You could ask your boyfriend questions on various subjects, such as history, science, and popular culture. Doing this might be a fun way to learn new things together, and it could even prepare you to attend a trivia event together!

Dog person vs cat person

Conversations that are both lighthearted and apt to provoke strong opinions can be a great way to prompt your boyfriend. The cat person/dog person debate is a universal one that can tell you a lot about a person. He may, like many other people, love talking about his favorite animals, particularly if he has his own pets. You might want to also ask follow-up questions about cats or dogs he had as a child. 

Intimate topics to discuss

Intimate subjects, including about past relationships, can be personal, sensitive subjects often considered inappropriate for public discussion. When discussing intimate ideas such as your last relationship, it can be essential to approach the subject with empathy, understanding, and respect.

Feelings and emotions

Discussing your and your boyfriend's feelings and emotions can be beneficial for both long- and short-term relationships. You could talk about your thoughts and feelings about how the relationship is progressing, especially if you are on the long-term relationship end of things and listen to his reactions. Knowing where each of you stands could help both of you feel closer and understand each other better.

Sexual preferences

Talking about sexual preferences and desires may be essential to understanding each other. You could ask your boyfriend about what he is attracted to and talk about your own desires. Doing this might help you feel safer as you build an intimate connection.

Memorable moments

Intimate moments could be discussed, such as your first date night, first kiss, or any other special moments you’ve experienced together. You could also ask your partner about their favorite memory and discuss interesting stories from your life. This could be a way to reminisce and relive special moments together.

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Are you having trouble talking with your boyfriend?

Try online therapy for better conversations

Online therapy can be a great way to enhance your conversations with your boyfriend and improve your relationship. By speaking with a licensed therapist, you can learn how to communicate more effectively, address issues healthily, and understand each other more deeply. Attending therapy sessions online can be especially convenient as you can speak to a licensed professional from anywhere you have an internet connection and schedule sessions at a time that works for both you and your partner.

As this study explains, there’s generally no difference between the efficacy of online couples therapy and the efficacy of traditional in-office couples therapy. Either option can be an excellent way to improve communication within your relationship and get expert guidance regarding any issues you may be experiencing.

Takeaway

Conversations can be a vital component of any relationship, and taking the time to have meaningful conversations could help you form a deeper connection with your boyfriend or partner. If you worry about running out of discussion topics, consider utilizing some of the above prompts. You might talk about personal life stories, interests and hobbies, aspirations and dreams, news and current events, pop culture, philosophy and ethics, society and culture, science and technology, humor and jokes, trivia, emotions, sexual preferences, and memorable moments. If you’re having trouble with effective communication, online couples therapy may be an excellent way to strengthen your skills.
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