Understanding The Psychological Impacts Of Cheating

Medically reviewed by April Justice, LICSW
Updated November 20, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Cheating can cause significant emotional pain for a partner. While the initial feeling of betrayal is common, there are often more complex emotional and psychological consequences for the person who was cheated on that may resemble symptoms of post-infidelity stress or cheating trauma. Below, we’ll explore the psychological impact and consequences of cheating in a relationship.

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Navigate unfaithfulness in a relationship
Impact of cheating in a relationship on mental health

Cheating, whether sexual or emotional, can start a domino effect, from immediate emotional turmoil to long-term consequences like trust deficit, low self-esteem, and symptoms connected to post-traumatic stress.

Acknowledging the profound implications of unfaithful behavior on mental health and emphasizing the need for professional intervention may be valuable. Below are a few of these consequences to consider. 

Emotional turmoil

When finding out about a partner's affair, whether it was emotional or sexual infidelity, your immediate emotional responses may be overwhelming, and you may experience a mix of powerful feelings like betrayal, anger, sadness, and confusion. Betrayal may also cause a sense of profound loss and emptiness, while anger may seek to challenge the violation of trust. Sadness can cause loneliness or despair, and confusion can cause ongoing questions about the “why” and “how” of the past infidelity.

These emotions can persist long after the affair is revealed and may lead to mental health challenges, such as depression, anxiety, and symptoms resembling post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) if not effectively addressed.

Trust complications

Open and honest communication acts as a baseline for any emotional connection. When people are unfaithful, it can completely erode that emotional closeness, and the betrayed individual may be forced to grapple with a deep-seated mistrust.

Lingering suspicion may not confine itself to the cheating partner alone. It can cast a long shadow, reaching into their other relationships and interactions, which can profoundly affect relationships with future partners, as people who have been cheated on may find it challenging to trust subsequent sexual partners.

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Self-esteem challenges

The psychological effect of infidelity often extends beyond the challenges of trusting and may affect the individual's sense of self. They may question their value, attractiveness, or adequacy. This self-doubt can gnaw at their self-esteem, leaving them believing they are inadequate and worthless, possibly long after the incident of infidelity. Some people might be more likely to internalize the betrayal and blame themselves, exacerbating the effect on their self-esteem.

Infidelity is often not only a breach of trust but a blow to one's self-concept, especially when a change in relationship status or marital status follows. This can complicate the healing process, especially in terms of addressing one’s emotional and physical needs.

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and PTSD-like symptoms

Often, cheating affects individuals beyond the immediate emotional aftermath, sometimes causing a trauma response. In some cases, the psychological impact of infidelity can be so severe that the betrayed partner may experience PTSD.

The betrayed partner may experience nightmares about the infidelity, repeatedly reliving pain and shock. They may also find intrusive thoughts, constantly ruminating over the betrayal and the loss of physical intimacy in their primary relationship. Emotional numbness may set in as a defensive mechanism against emotional pain. Increased vigilance can cause the individual to be obsessively attentive to their partner's actions, seeking signs of further deceit.

These symptoms can significantly contribute to a decline in the individual's mental health, possibly affecting their well-being and the potential for healing and reestablishing trust in romantic relationships. This complex interplay between trauma and infidelity underscores the severe psychological effect of cheating.

If you are experiencing trauma, support is available. Please see our Get Help Now page for more resources.

Long-term psychological effects of cheating

Cheating can potentially produce long-term psychological effects that linger well after the event. These effects may manifest as unresolved complications from the betrayal, which might evolve as a fear of intimacy and commitment in future relationships. The cloud of infidelity can also induce chronic anxiety, spawning a sense of constant unease and depression and often miring the individual in persistent sadness and apathy.

However, the human psyche is flexible and capable of both pain and resilience. The aftermath of infidelity isn't necessarily a linear path marked only by suffering but a complex journey where growth and resilience can grow.

Amid betrayed trust, individuals can find the strength to foster personal growth, emotional well-being, and, eventually, relationship satisfaction. They may develop a deeper understanding of their needs, boundaries, and capacity for forgiveness.

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Navigate unfaithfulness in a relationship

Support after experiencing sexual and emotional infidelity

When confronted with betrayal from a partner, turning to a mental health professional can offer valuable support. Therapists are equipped to assist you in navigating the aftermath of previous relationships, including exploring intergenerational patterns of emotional turbulence and gender differences as a response to cheating, as many possess specialized training in these areas.

While many people benefit from in-person therapy sessions, people who experience depression or PTSD may have difficulty leaving the house to travel to in-person appointments. With online therapy, you can speak with a licensed therapist from the comfort of your own home. You can also message your therapist at any time, which may be helpful if you’re navigating symptoms of PTSD or depression throughout the day.

Online therapy has been proven effective in managing various mental health challenges. One study outlines the successful use of telehealth platforms in providing treatment like cognitive processing therapy (CPT), for individuals with PTSD. With infidelity, where symptoms mirroring PTSD might occur, the potential application of teletherapy programs could be a promising way forward. Just as those in the study responded positively to the virtual intensive treatment program, individuals navigating the emotional turmoil following infidelity could potentially benefit from similar online therapy formats.

Takeaway

Navigating the waters following infidelity in a romantic relationship can be challenging. The psychological impacts may be vast, from immediate emotional turmoil, deep-rooted inability to trust, and self-esteem erosion to symptoms akin to PTSD, all underscoring the severity of mental health challenges that can arise from such betrayal.

Professional intervention can be a highly effective means to address these complexities. It can provide a safe and nonjudgmental space for individuals to express their emotions, understand their reactions, and develop coping strategies. Consider reaching out to a professional online or in your area to get started.

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