Recognizing A Complicated Relationship: What To Do When A Relationship Becomes Complicated

In today’s world, both a serious and casual relationship can morph into a complicated relationship. Most relationships experience bumps in the road, but a complicated one can arise when partners have differing expectations, making it difficult to define. Even in long-term relationships, changing social norms and economic factors over the passing years can create complexity in a previously healthy relationship.

Are complications the end of a relationship?

It can be important to remember that complications do not necessarily mean the relationship is doomed to fail. However, for the sake of your and your partner’s mental health and well-being, such relationships might require work and persistence in order to shift from a difficult relationship to a healthy one. Working with a couples therapist online or in person can help you cultivate a healthy relationship uncomplicated by the current challenges.

Recognizing a complicated relationship

Recognizing the complicated dynamic of a relationship can be difficult. You might get the sense that something is “off” about your relationship but lack the experience, knowledge, or support system to help articulate why. You might even be afraid to look too closely at the issues for fear of getting hurt.

Learning the signs of a complicated relationship can be crucial to both your mental health and the health of your relationship. And if it reaches a critical point, it might be best to walk away entirely. 

Some signs of a complicated relationship may include the following:

• Lack of commitment. The relationship might seem to exist in an undefined gray area.
• Frequent heated arguments. Constant bickering and poor conflict resolution can make a relationship complicated.
• Poor communication. Many issues can be avoided when partners talk about their emotions openly, honestly, and maturely and put in the effort to be a great listener.
• Lack of common values. You and your partner might want entirely different things out of life. Perhaps you want a family full of children in the future, but they don’t. This is a significant difference of opinion that will likely have a lasting impact on the relationship and your lives.
• Lack of physical intimacy. It can be healthy to get alone time, but if partners are not sexually on the same page, this can contribute to severe relationship complications.
• Feeling unable to be your true self or relax around your partner. Maybe your partner does not respect your opinions or flies off the handle easily, leaving you walking on eggshells the rest of the time.
• You have stopped trying to please each other. You might not want to break up but have lost focus on improving the relationship.

Are complicated relationships bad?

Entering a serious relationship can be a long-term commitment that requires cooperation to succeed. It can be important to accept the complexity of relationships in general because not every complicated relationship is toxic or even unhealthy.

You need to know the issues before you can work on them. It may be helpful to identify and describe your relationship complications, talking with your partner as to whether you wish to deal with these issues or move on from the relationship.

The common denominator in each of these causes is often a lack of communication. Engaging in open and honest communication with your partner can alleviate some of these relationship complications.

Utilizing resources like online therapy may also help individuals work through traumatic experiences, which can help them feel more comfortable communicating clearly and become more successful at maintaining serious relationships. 

However, it can be important to know that if your partner is not willing to engage, issues cannot be talked through. If you sense that the conversation isn’t worth having, and you find yourself settling for an unsatisfactory reality, it may be vital to remember that ending the relationship is an option. 

Managing a complicated relationship status: not knowing where you stand

The need for closure typically correlates with an aversion to ambiguity. Human beings tend to be inclined to seek answers, especially in a relationship where a partner is wondering why the other might have treated them a certain way. However, achieving closure when choosing to break off a relationship often requires an open and honest discussion with your partner, which, for several reasons, might be difficult in the aftermath of a breakup.

Getting closure from a complicated relationship

It can be important to accept that, in some cases, true closure may be impossible. When you cannot get the closure you crave, that may be an example of “ambiguous loss.” Ambiguous loss can overwhelm you with feelings of shame, remorse, or even a desire for revenge, all of which can prevent you from moving on. 

Sometimes, the answers to the questions you want to ask your ex-partners may only lead to more questions, making true closure more of a concern of mentally moving on from a relationship rather than trying to find meaning and understanding in the inner workings of your ex-partner.

Therapy and complicated relationships

When talking to friends and loved ones isn’t quite enough, therapy can be a great resource for those navigating a complicated relationship or seeking to move on from one. Therapy can help you improve your communication skills to work through your issues with your partner or provide the insight and coping skills required to move on. 

Online therapy

Online therapy can provide a safe environment to help you prepare for difficult discussions, such as initiating a breakup. The ability to attend sessions with a licensed professional from the comfort of your home may make it easier to open up about your thoughts and feelings.

Sometimes, complicated relationships can contribute to the development of depression symptoms. According to a growing body of evidence, online therapy can serve as an effective treatment for depression in adults, and it can also address many other mental health concerns.