Exploring Differences Between "Dating" Vs "Relationship"

Navigating the relationship and dating world can be both exciting and confusing. As people begin exploring dating or being in a relationship, they often encounter nuanced dynamics that can be tricky to manage. One example is the difference between the phases of "just dating" and being "in a relationship.” Both terms are commonly used, but it may be difficult to tell the distinctions between dating vs a relationship. Here, we’ll delve into the contrasting features of these two stages of romantic involvement and the difference between dating and a committed relationship so you can be more informed on your dating journey.

Characteristics of “just dating” vs relationships

When seeking out a romantic relationship, you might choose to use dating apps to expand your social life. The early stages of these dating situations don’t require a deeper connection and may involve frequently moving between partners as you look for a compatible person over the course of a few months or a couple of years. 

In the realm of romantic connections, the relationship status of "just dating" is usually marked by a certain level of informality and a focus on exploration. In modern usage, “dating” means socializing with one partner at a time in a romantic environment like a dinner, theme park, or movie. It’s about the individuals spending time together in a relatively casual manner and getting to know each other without the weight of a committed relationship, allowing their growing attraction to develop naturally. This phase is usually defined by its:

Casual nature of dating vs relationships

The atmosphere of time spent together when “just dating” is usually relaxed and informal. Individuals in this stage may go on dates, enjoy common activities, engage in casual banter with little depth, and engage in the initial stages of bonding and physical intimacy without necessarily committing to a more serious or long-term connection.

Lack of exclusivity

Another major difference between casual dating and an “official” romantic relationship—particularly a monogamous one—is exclusivity. While just casually dating, individuals may be exploring connections and/or sexual interest with multiple partners simultaneously, keeping their options open before committing to more exclusive dating, if at all.

Limited commitment

Unlike an “official” romantic relationship, a casual relationship involves a lower level of commitment. The focus is on enjoying each other's company without the expectation of a long-term relationship or the responsibilities that can come with it.

Focus on getting to know each other

Just dating provides the opportunity for individuals to discover common interests and values and explore compatibility. In some cases, the emphasis is on building a foundation for growing emotional connection and assessing whether there may be potential for a deeper, more committed relationship. In others, it’s simply about spending time with someone new and enjoying their company.

Understanding these characteristics can help individuals navigate the dating landscape. It can also set the stage for open communication about expectations, which can help avoid miscommunications, mismatched goals, and hurt feelings. Not everyone is interested in dating casually and some people will expect monogamy from the get-go. It’s important not to let your expectations vary to the point of causing issues.

Characteristics of an “official” committed relationship

Not all dating dynamics will progress into a romantic relationship, either because the partners eventually find they’re not compatible or because one or both aren’t currently looking for a long-term or committed connection. If they do evolve into a more official romantic relationship (sometimes called a “real” relationship, though casual dating is just as valid a relationship in different ways), however, there are often distinct characteristics that set this phase apart from “just dating”. Some of the main differences between dating vs committed relationships include:

Exclusivity

Although not usually the case in non-monogamous relationships, often relationship requires commitment. Individuals who are interested in pursuing monogamy may decide to make their connection exclusive as part of their agreement to enter into a relationship. This means they will both stop pursuing romantic or sexual connections with others and will instead focus solely on each other as a go-to person in these ways.

Emotional intimacy

Unlike the more casual, exploratory nature of just dating, being in a serious relationship usually involves a deeper emotional commitment. Partners in a relationship will typically invest time and effort in building a connection that goes beyond the surface, fostering emotional intimacy, deep knowing, and a sense of stability. There is a certain level of expectation that one’s partner will be of prime importance in their life and will be considered a priority.

Long-term potential

Unless otherwise explicitly stated, romantic relationships often carry the expectation of long-term potential. As such, individuals in a committed relationship are more likely to spend time discussing common goals, future plans, and the possibility of building a life together over the coming years.

Similar goals and future plans

Partners in an “official” romantic relationship typically work together getting on the same page to create a similar vision for their future, which may involve things like cohabiting, achieving certain career aspirations, or having children.

Advantages and disadvantages of dating vs relationship status

The advantages and disadvantages of just dating or being in a relationship can vary widely depending on the individual and what they’re looking for. Someone who doesn't want a long-term commitment may find few disadvantages to just dating, or the advantages may outweigh any drawbacks for them. They may start dating exclusively to improve their social life or for other simple goals without the expectation that it must eventually lead to exclusive dating and relationships. Conversely, someone who is only looking for a long-term commitment might not be interested in the advantages of the “just dating” stage and may not be bothered by the “disadvantages” of being in a more committed relationship. They may find exploring options in their social life for dating and relationships more challenging, especially as they try to engage in a level of commitment people might not be ready for. They may feel they can only be their true self if they’re in a committed relationship. The main differences between dating and committed relationships come down to personal preferences.

Pros and cons of a relationship

In general, however, both circumstances can have pros and cons. For example, when just dating, potential advantages could include flexibility, variety, and a lack of the pressure that can sometimes be associated with long-term commitments. That said, the lack of certainty about one’s future with another person could cause anxiety or discomfort in some, and there may sometimes be a lack of emotional depth in more casual connections as well.

When it comes to committed romantic relationships, many people enjoy the deeper level of emotional intimacy, the sense of stability, and the pursuit of common goals. However, the expectations of the relationship differences aligned with an exclusive relationship could also bring about additional pressure, and deeper connections could also have the potential to result in more significant conflicts. Weighing both sides of various dating phases could help you understand more about what you’re looking for romantically so you can communicate it to people you become involved with. This can become even more complicated if you are building a meaningful relationship with multiple people, or if you are close friends shifting into romantic interest or sexual intimacy. 

Getting on the same page: Transitioning from dating to a relationship

In general, all parties need to be aligned before moving forward into the different stages of a healthy, committed relationship. If the following factors seem to exist in your connection, it could mean that moving forward into an “official” relationship may be possible:

• Mutual interest in progressing the relationship
• Same emotional connection
• Aligned values
• Agreement on what the relationship’s parameters would be
• Open and honest communication
• A sense of trust between just one person, or more than one person (multiple dating partners)

Having an honest conversation

These signs can be positive indicators; however, if you’re interested in pursuing a more committed romantic relationship with the person you’re dating, you’ll eventually have to tell them how you feel and see how they respond. If they feel the same way, you can check your goals and expectations to see if they’re aligned, if compromise is necessary, or if you may not be compatible long term. Regardless, being direct and honest, practicing active listening, and respecting their needs and boundaries can help ensure a respectful, productive conversation.

Remember that, even if all of the above signs are there, some people are never going to be looking to move past the honeymoon phase. For them, a relationship means casual companionship and they need nothing more. There’s nothing wrong with this but again understanding the differences between dating casually and dating for commitment is incredibly important in keeping everyone comfortable and happy.

Finding mutual agreement: Navigating the dating world with professional support

These expectations may cause relationship anxiety, which can inadvertently put any relationship into a crisis stage if not addressed. There are lots of different skills and abilities that may be helpful as you move through the dating world. Emotional control, open communication, self-esteem, and boundary-setting are just a few examples, all of which may be cultivated or honed in therapy or through related reading. When navigating relationship territory, it can be helpful to understand how to reach a mutual agreement on expectations and same goals. A therapist can help you define what a relationship means and the difference between dating and commitment for yourself, help you understand your values as they relate to dating and relationships and also provide you with a safe space to express the emotions you may feel along the way and can offer advice as you experience transitions in your relationships. 

Talking about your dating life with a professional face to face can feel intimidating for some. For others, commuting to a therapist’s office often is inconvenient or too expensive. In any of these cases, online therapy can be a useful alternative—and research suggests that it can offer similar effectiveness to in-person sessions. With a platform like BetterHelp, you can get matched with a licensed therapist in a matter of days, and you can meet with them from the comfort of home or anywhere else you have a stable internet connection.