Addressing Emotional Needs In A Relationship

Keeping your relationship healthy can be similar to keeping your body healthy. Eating enough calories can be a good place to start, but to make the most of your diet, you generally need to be sure you’re getting the right nutrients. Emotional needs can play a similar role in a relationship. 

We may not think about emotional expressions as grand romantic gestures, but they can be the difference between an unfulfilling relationship and a healthy relationship. From acceptance to quality time, meeting your and your partner’s emotional needs can help you both feel safe, valued, and loved. 

This article explores mental health and emotional needs within relationships. We’ll also discuss how working with a licensed couples therapist in person or online may be helpful if you and your partner want to put more work into meeting each other’s needs and maintaining a healthy relationship. 

What are emotional needs?

You may have heard the term “emotional needs” used in the context of relationships, but what exactly does it mean?

Having these types of needs met can allow you to feel safe and at ease. Specific emotional needs in a relationship can vary based on the person, but in healthy relationships, they often involve feeling heard, loved, and respected by your partner. 

Meeting your partner's needs

Meeting emotional needs may support your and your partner’s mental health, emotional energy, and general well-being by:

• Deepening your connection
• Building trust and empathy
• Promoting open, honest communication
• Demonstrating each partner’s commitment to the relationship
• Preventing conflicts (and making them easier to resolve)

A relationship that prioritizes emotional needs can allow each person to feel fulfilled and valued. However, when partners ignore or fail to meet each other’s needs, this can set the stage for: 

• Hurt feelings
• Problems with communication
• Reduced intimacy
• Loneliness and isolation
• Trouble resolving conflicts

Furthermore, because these needs are often tied to mental health, not having a partner meet them or only having one partner committed to the idea can raise the risk of certain mental health issues. Some common examples may include depression, anxiety, and stress. Over the long term, these issues can contribute to physical health problems like high blood pressure, chronic pain, and illness.

Common examples of emotional needs for relationship satisfaction

Now that we’ve seen how important feeling safe can be for romantic relationships, you may be wondering what these needs look like. Because everyone tends to be different, people’s individual needs can vary, but it may still be helpful to get a sense of some of the most common ones. 

Spending quality time with your partner can be a common emotional need because it can enable you to get closer to one another. Having less time with your partner can mean fewer chances to discuss your thoughts, discuss your relationship, and learn about each other. Remember, quality time doesn’t always have to mean fancy dates and big adventures. You can spend time together doing something as simple as watching a movie together or giving each other your undivided attention for a few minutes each day.

Providing emotional support generally means being someone your partner can turn to in a time of stress, sadness, or another complicated emotion. Offering words of validation, loving gestures, or even simple favors can be valuable, healthy ways to show your commitment and help your partner feel supported when they have a rough day. Support can also mean encouraging your partner to grow and congratulating them for their achievements. 

Honesty can be a key component of a healthy relationship. This typically means being willing to openly discuss how you're feeling and helping your partner feel safe to do the same. It can also mean speaking your mind when your partner asks for your opinion and bringing up issues when you notice them. 

When you think of intimacy in a relationship, physical needs may be the first thing that comes to mind. Physical intimacy—from affectionate touching to sexual activity—can strengthen the bond between partners. However, emotional intimacy is often just as important as physical touch and affection. This can involve being able to discuss your thoughts and feelings with your partner and being open about your struggles. 

Relationship commitment

At its most basic, commitment can mean being actively invested in your romantic relationship. While you may mainly think of it as being faithful to your partner, being willing to make sacrifices for their happiness may be another aspect of being committed. This can also include family commitment if you and your partner have children. 

Acceptance

Acceptance and respect often go hand in hand in a relationship. When you accept your partner for who they are and your partner accepts you in the same way, you may be valuing and loving them without trying to change them. This can make them feel safe to be themself around you. It can be important to remember that partners can still grow and learn together while also accepting each other’s imperfections.

As you read through these examples, it may be helpful to reflect on your own emotional needs and what you need to fulfill you. Then, consider whether they are being met in your relationship. If something seems to be missing, bringing it up with your partner can be an important first step toward understanding and addressing it. 

That said, this may not always be easy. Even for couples with strong communication, things can sometimes slip through the cracks, and it can be hard to recognize when your needs aren’t being met, which is why counseling can be helpful. A licensed professional may be able to help you and your partner identify, voice, and meet each other’s needs to ensure you’re on the same page about what your relationship means.

Support from an online couples therapist

As helpful as in-office relationship therapy can be, it may not be available for everyone, with sessions that can cost upwards of $200 per hour. Online therapy may be a more cost-effective option. Platforms like BetterHelp or Regain for couples counseling generally allow you to attend counseling from the comfort of your home at times that fit your schedule, with prices starting at $65 to $100 per week (based on factors such as your location, referral source, preferences, therapist availability and any applicable discounts or promotions that might apply) to have sessions with a qualified therapist.

Studies suggest that online relationship therapy may be just as effective as in-person counseling. In one 2021 study, 30 couples were given a relationship therapy program either through videoconferencing or in person. Researchers found that both delivery methods typically led to similar improvements in couples’ relationship satisfaction and mental health.