Signs You're Ready For A Committed Relationship

Am I ready for commitment?

Deciding to pursue a committed romantic relationship with someone can be a big step. Although the particulars can look different for different people, there are a handful of signs that usually indicate that a relationship has reached this level. Read on to learn more about what a committed relationship actually is, plus eight signs that you and your partner might be ready for one. 

What is a committed relationship?

While friends and family can have dedicated connections with each other too, most people think of romantic connections when they think of this concept. Most committed romantic relationships happen when all partners decide to agree to a certain level of commitment to each other and to pursue a future together—whatever that may look like for them. 

Different meanings for different relationships

Commitment in a romantic partnership can mean different things to different people. For some, being in a dedicated relationship means being exclusive and planning for traditional milestones like marriage. For others, it refers to cultivating a strong emotional bond while participating in an open relationship. It could also look like plans to cohabit, get married, and/or have children in the future—or to maintain a close and healthy relationship without any of these elements at all. It could even look like committing to a future with more than one person in an otherwise closed partnership.

The importance of communication

Because being committed can mean different things to different people, when you’re dating or starting a new relationship, it can be a big deal to talk to your partner(s) about what commitment means to you before moving forward together. Not all couples agree on the parameters. For example, one person may desire sexual exclusivity as a cornerstone of commitment, while another views commitment as being honest about other sexual partners but not necessarily engaging in monogamy. 

8 signs you and your partner may be ready for deeper commitment

It can sometimes be challenging to determine when your relationship might be ready to go to the next level. There are no hard and fast rules to determining readiness for a long-term partnership, but there are some signs that could indicate that you and your partner are ready to have a conversation about progressing your connection in some way. Some signs of a committed relationship being a potential next step include the following. 

1. You talk about and envision the future together

One of the biggest indicators that you and your partner might be ready for the next step is that you both see a future together. If you can’t imagine future plans without them and they can’t imagine them without you, it’s a potentially good sign that you may be ready for a more committed arrangement in some form. 

2. You both pull your weight in relationships

Relationships take effort from all parties. Before you enter a more serious commitment, you’ll generally want to ensure you’re both putting in the effort to make the partnership successful. This doesn’t necessarily mean you have to make grand gestures or significant sacrifices for each other, but it should be clear that each person in is contributing to its health.

For example, say that one person is consistently planning dates, calling the other, and making sure the couple spends time together while the other doesn’t seem to put in any time. This situation could reflect an imbalance of effort, which might be an indication that it’s not yet the right time to make a deeper commitment. 

3. There’s mutual trust and respect in a committed relationship

Mutual trust and respect generally must be present before a couple takes their relationship to the next level. Trust and respect are typically foundational elements of a deep and lasting connection because they can allow the partners to create a safe and supportive environment where they feel valued, understood, and safe. Without these, a partnership may not be stable or healthy enough for a more serious commitment.

4. You support each other as individuals

One of the biggest potential advantages of being in a dedicated relationship is having a consistent support system. In healthy relationships, partners generally support each other through good times and bad times. They’re there to offer comfort after a rough day and celebrate with you when you accomplish a big goal in your career plans. 

You may even come to know the best way to support each other and make sure the other knows that they matter during the storms of life. For example, here’s one thing you could do. Say that you know your partner’s love language is acts of service, and they’re busy preparing for a big work project. You may spend time taking care of their chores and responsibilities one day to show them love and support for their goals. 

5. You prioritize and demonstrate your commitment to each other

Life can get busy, but couples who are ready to commit more deeply are usually willing to make time for spending time together and to put each other’s needs ahead of other commitments. For example, an individual who has plans to meet a friend for a drink one evening might postpone the get-together if their partner just got some bad news and is feeling in serious need of comfort. While it’s often unhealthy to focus exclusively on your romantic relationship to the detriment of your other connections, commitment typically means putting your significant other first when it comes to safeguarding their joy and well-being.

6. You’re committed to working through tough times together

Relationships aren’t always easy, especially when they continue over the longer term. Over the course of the partnership you must accept that there will be times when you don’t agree or face hardships together. So before moving into a more dedicated relationship with someone, it’s important to know that you’re both dedicated to working through obstacles that may arise. Generally, this means pledging to communicate during trouble spots and find solutions to problems together. To put it another way, commitment means you won’t leave at the first sign of a challenge and that you’re invested in addressing it together instead. 

7. You’re able to meet many of each other’s needs and wants

Research suggests that relationship satisfaction is the biggest predictor of commitment and maintenance behaviors and is negatively related to the likelihood of divorce. That said, it’s not realistic to expect a partner to meet each of your needs and wants, since it’s typically impossible for one man or woman to do so. Which is why it’s important to have friendships and other avenues for social support and connection. Still, it’s usually crucial for you and your partner to feel aligned on core values and to both make an effort to satisfy some basic needs for connection and care.

8. You communicate effectively

Effective communication can be a key indicator that a deeper level of commitment may be possible. When partners can openly and honestly express their feelings, thoughts, and needs to each other, it often demonstrates a strong foundation of understanding and empathy. 

Note that effective communication goes beyond just having day-to-day details with each other. Instead, it usually involves sharing honestly, actively listening, offering support, and working through conflict constructively. This manner of interacting can indicate that both individuals may be prepared to handle the complexities of a more committed partnership.  

Strategies for building a healthy partnership

To cultivate healthy commitment in a relationship for the long haul, it’s usually important to prioritize emotional intimacy and closeness—whether that’s through common interests and activities or simple moments of togetherness. Making an effort to make sure your partner feels seen and heard can be helpful, as can setting aside specific time to check in and communicate about how things are going. Striving to both contribute to the health of your relationship will typically be key to longer-term success.

If you and your partner are seeking support in managing conflict or making sure you’re ready for a new level of commitment before you move forward, it could be useful to attend couples therapy together. A trained couples counselor can facilitate communication between you and your partner(s) and offer advice and strategies that can be powerful tools for growing together in a healthy way. 

Online therapy

Finding regular times when you and your partner can commute to in-person couples therapy sessions can be difficult. Ease of scheduling and no commuting are two advantages of virtual therapy. With online couples therapy through a platform like ReGain, you can learn effective communication skills, evaluate your relationship, and work through issues in a time and place that works best for both of your busy schedules. Plus, research suggests that online couples therapy can be as effective as in-person therapy for improving relationship satisfaction.