What's A Parasocial Relationship?

With such a significant portion of the population engaging in parasocial relationships, it can be useful to understand more about what they are and how they can affect people. Read on to learn about parasocial relationships—including their potential advantages and drawbacks—and get insight on what to do if you find yourself in a parasocial relationship. 

Parasocial relationship overview

One reason people may form parasocial connections is likely our biological need for social bonds. Research indicates that humans seem to need social connection and relationships for physical and mental well-being. Particularly in situations where real-life friends and interactions are limited or unsatisfactory, parasocial relationships can provide a sense of belonging and companionship.

The concept of a parasocial relationship was first conceived in 1956 when two researchers, Donald Horton and R. Richard Wohl, published the article Mass Communication and Para-Social Interaction: Observations on Intimacy at a Distance. For many decades, research on parasocial relationships centered around people's relationships with athletes, movie stars, or public figures. 

Exploring a parasocial relationship: how parasocial interaction influences our view of relationships

Other research since the advent of the digital age has focused on the younger generation and their relationship to media use and parasocial relationships. Since the advent of social media platforms and around-the-clock availability of public figures and increased media exposure, parasocial relationships have become more prevalent, dynamic, and difficult to define. Researchers concluded that repeated exposure to and availability of public figures through various media platforms can create a sense of familiarity and intimacy, aka a parasocial relationship. Over time, this can lead to a feeling of knowing the figure personally despite the lack of an actual relationship in real life.

Parasocial relationships online

When speaking of parasocial phenomena, the term "parasocial interaction" is sometimes used interchangeably with the term "parasocial relationship." These two terms have similar but separate meanings. A parasocial interaction is an interaction between a media user and a media persona. A few examples of parasocial interactions include:

• Talking back to podcast hosts as an episode plays
• Yelling at the athletes on the TV screen 
• Commenting on an influencer's social media post
• Meeting band members after a show 
• Getting a personalized video message 
• Feeling like you're part of a TV show while watching 
• Sending gifts on live video streams 

These are all examples of parasocial interactions. One parasocial interaction doesn't lead to a parasocial relationship. However, if you have repeated parasocial interactions or keep thinking about the figure after the interaction, it has likely moved into parasocial relationship territory. Often, parasocial relationships form after parasocial interaction(s). 

Relationships with media personalities

A parasocial relationship is usually a friendship-like relationship, but some media users can form romantic parasocial connections or even parental parasocial relationships with different media figures. Often, whether or not a parasocial relationship is healthy depends on the type and the level of the relationship. According to the Celebrity Attitude Scale, there are three levels of celebrity worship: 

Entertainment-social parasocial relationship

This level of parasocial relationship refers to people who appreciate their favorite celebrities or social media personality and enjoy spreading their interests to others. People in this category may be in fan clubs, enjoy celebrity gossip, or read up on their favorite influencers. However, they know they don't actually have a relationship with the celebrity or character. Most people in parasocial relationships are in this category.

Intense-personal parasocial relationship

This is the next level, and it happens when people begin adopting the values of their favorite celebrity, social media user, or fictional character. They may believe this person is genuinely their soulmate or friend, though they are still aware that the relationship isn't real. In this type of relationship, people often have difficulty controlling their feelings for the celebrity or character and may spend large portions of their day thinking about them. Their parasocial relationship may also have a significant impact their real-world relationships or intimate relationships, or prevent them from developing strong bonds with other people. 

Borderline-pathological parasocial relationship

This is the most extreme level of parasocial relationships, and it's when people would do anything for their faux companion—including illegal activities. In these instances, a person's thoughts and feelings can turn into actions, like stalking or violence. This group is thought to account for up to 5% of parasocial relationships.  

If you believe you're in an intense-personal or borderline-pathological parasocial relationship, you might consider reaching out to a professional for support and guidance. 

Parasocial relationships and mental health

Parasocial relationships can have a range of impacts on mental health—both positive and negative.

Potential benefits of parasocial relationships

According to media psychology researchers, healthy parasocial relationships may have several potential benefits. 

Reduced loneliness

Parasocial relationships can serve as a source of connection, companionship, and comfort—especially if a person is isolated, lonely, and/or lives with a condition like social anxiety disorder. Research suggests that online connections may supplement in-person ones in a beneficial way, particularly for adolescents. Parasocial relationships were particularly beneficial during the early part of the COVID-19 pandemic when many people were locked down at home by themselves. 

Increased self-confidence and belonging

Some older research supports the idea that having parasocial relationships can help people with lower self-esteem develop self-confidence and get closer to becoming their ideal selves, though more recent studies suggest that parasocial relationships could actually lower self-esteem by encouraging social comparison.

Identity development

Parasocial relationships can be a valuable tool for helping adolescents develop autonomy and form an identity. With these types of relationships, young people may have a way to experiment with who they are or may want to be.

Positive modeling

Along the same lines as identity development, observing people we admire doing amazing things can be inspiring. As a result, a figure that someone has a parasocial relationship with can serve as a role model. For example, a fitness influencer on social media may inspire their followers to be more active. 

Educational opportunities

Parasocial relationships can also inspire people to be creative and learn new things. For example, a person may learn Korean to connect with their favorite KPOP stars, start writing fanfiction to add to their favorite character's life story, or try new self-improvement routines their favorite celebrity recommends due to parasocial relationships. 

Validation

Having parasocial relationships with people going through similar life situations can also be helpful. For example, if you have a rare medical condition, connecting with someone online with that same diagnosis could help you come to terms with the illness and feel like you're not alone. 

Most people won't get to be an A-list celebrity, publish a book, travel the world, or defeat supervillains. Having a parasocial relationship can allow people the opportunity to connect with a famous person who get to live those experiences and ‘join them’ on the ride. 

Connecting with people who are also fans of the celebrity, influencer, or character you're interested in can be a fulfilling social experience. Social media users often create in-person or online public interest communities dedicated to specific media figures, which can spur real social relationships and connections, too. 

Potential risks of parasocial relationships 

There are also notable potential drawbacks to having parasocial relationships. 

• Undue influence. Just as friends and family can shape our views of the world, so can parasocial relationships. Recent research suggests that having a parasocial connection with media personalities can influence a person's: 
  • Purchasing behavior
  • Political views
  • Attitudes about gender stereotypes
  • Voting decisions
  • Trust in groups and organization  

While it’s not necessarily a negative thing, this powerful effect of parasocial relationships does have the potential to be harmful. 

Distress from relationships ending

Studies suggest that people respond to the ending of parasocial relationships similarly to how they respond to the dissolution of real-life relationships. For example, if a person had a strong parasocial relationship to a TV character who was killed off the show, it could be incredibly distressing for them and may potentially disrupt their daily life.

In some cases, dedicated fans can spend large amounts of money to support their parasocial relationship, potentially overextending themselves financially for a non-reciprocal relationship. 

Misinterpreting parasocial interaction

In the age of social media, it's easier than ever to directly interact with a media figure we admire. From personalized messages and retweets to story responses and comment likes, it can sometimes feel like the parasocial relationship isn't as one-sided as it once seemed. It's not just online, either; in-person book signings, VIP concert tickets, or autograph tables at conventions also provide opportunities to directly connect with media personalities. However, if a person has spent a lot of time learning about these figures, it can be easy to misinterpret these interactions and come to believe that the parasocial relationship is more than it is. In certain cases that involve severe mental health conditions, this can lead to stalking and even death threats. 

If people become too dependent on parasocial relationships, they could forgo their in-person relationships—which are important for physical and mental well-being. Like any one-sided relationship, this can lead to low self-esteem and begin to feel empty and unfulfilling, potentially leaving the person in the parasocial relationship feeling lonelier than before. 

Managing parasocial relationships in a healthy way

If you realize that you’re in a parasocial relationship that isn't healthy for you, it may be helpful to take a social media break, stop interacting with media related to your parasocial relationship, and focus on your real-life relationships. It may also be beneficial to meet with a mental health professional for guidance, as a parasocial breakup with a public figure can cause distress or even grief. 

Even if you're not ready to end your parasocial relationship, meeting with a therapist can be a useful way to determine how the parasocial relationship may be affecting you and the factors that led to you developing a one-sided relationship. For example, if social anxiety is keeping you from making friends in the real world, a therapist can help you develop a treatment plan and coping strategies so that this type of communication and connection doesn’t seem so intimidating.

Online therapy support for relationships

If you're anxious about leaving your home to attend sessions, online therapy might be an option worth considering. With an online therapy platform like BetterHelp, you can get matched with a licensed therapist who you can meet with from anywhere you have an internet connection and feel comfortable. Recent psychological research suggests that online therapy can offer similar benefits to in-person care for mental health conditions and that it can be effective at reducing symptoms of social anxiety, too. In one 2022 study, for instance, 86% of participants demonstrated remission from social anxiety disorder after online treatment and were able to maintain the results.