What To Do After The Honeymoon Phase Ends

When you first fall in love with someone, you might feel like you’re on top of the world, full of butterflies, euphoria, and a desire to be with them all the time. This is what’s known as the honeymoon phase.

Keeping your relationship fresh

But as wonderful as the honeymoon phase feels, in long-term relationships, it eventually ends. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but it can be natural to want to keep those good feelings going. By focusing on quality time, communication, and intimacy, you may be able to keep your relationship fresh even after the butterflies fade. 

What is the relationship honeymoon phase?

At the very beginning of a romantic relationship, you and your partner might be unable to stop thinking of each other. You might get butterflies in your stomach when you’re together, feel giddy at the thought of them, or have a hard time staying away from them.

How the honeymoon phase affects your brain

This is the honeymoon phase of a relationship: the period when you’re head over heels in love with your partner, and everything feels new and exciting. These feelings may be due to the way your brain reacts to a new relationship. When you’re in the honeymoon period, your brain releases high levels of dopamine, a chemical linked to pleasure, attention, and rewards. This can cause a reaction similar to the effects of cocaine and alcohol, which may explain why love can even feel addictive sometimes. 

Signs you’re moving past the honeymoon phase

But the honeymoon phase doesn’t last forever. Eventually, there comes a point when the euphoric feelings die down and couples transition to a more stable stage of the relationship. Some signs you may be transitioning out of the honeymoon phase include:

• Your romantic feelings for your partner are less intense.
• You don’t feel as much of a need to impress your partner.
• You and your partner are more comfortable being honest with each other.
• You have a more realistic view of your partner.
• Minor disagreements happen more often.
• You’re developing more of a routine in your relationship.
• You feel less of a need to spend all your time with your partner.

Understanding the end of the honeymoon phase

It may be important to remember that the honeymoon phase being over is not necessarily a problem. In fact, it’s often a natural part of a healthy relationship. When the butterflies die down, you and your partner may be more able to focus on building a lasting connection. You may also be more able to notice issues or red flags that weren’t as obvious before. 

Keeping the spark alive after the honeymoon phase ends

Whether you’ve been in a committed relationship for a while or you’re still in the early stages of dating, it can be natural to wonder how to keep things romantic after the honeymoon phase is over. Moving out of the “puppy love” stage can be a chance to transition to a more sustainable form of love, and there are ways to keep things from feeling stale when this happens. Some examples include:

Prioritize quality time after the honeymoon phase ends

It can be easy to let time with your partner take a back seat to things like work and chores. But spending quality time together can be a key to maintaining closeness in the post-honeymoon phase. Dedicate time to bonding with your partner, whether by watching a movie after dinner, scheduling weekly date nights, or just making time for conversation. 

Communicate

One of the benefits of the honeymoon period ending is that it often gets easier to be open with your partner. Consider taking advantage of this by letting yourself be honest, ask them questions, and bring up issues. Be open about your needs, and ask them about theirs. This may help keep the relationship fulfilling for both of you. 

Reflect on your reasons

Couples can sometimes benefit from reminders of why they fell in love in the first place. Taking time to reflect on these reasons may help keep the passion going. Consider starting a routine of telling your partner what you love about them each day (and vice versa). You could also try keeping a daily journal of things you love about them, things they do each day that you appreciate, or general positive thoughts about your relationship. 

Keep getting to know them

There’s no rule that says you can’t keep discovering new things about your partner after the honeymoon phase ends. Make a point to keep learning about your partner’s interests, memories, opinions, and quirks. Try asking them questions whenever you catch yourself wondering about something. By staying curious about your partner, you may be able to maintain a sense of excitement. 

Maintain physical intimacy

Keeping the physical part of a relationship alive may help couples maintain long-term relationship satisfaction. While this often means continuing to explore sexual activity, it can also involve other activities. Snuggling, holding hands, massage, and kissing can all be valid forms of physical affection. 

Keep things interesting

While habits can be natural, time spent on unique activities can often bring a sense of novelty back into the relationship. Think of ways you can shake up your romantic routine once in a while. Weekend getaways, shared activities you’ve never tried before, and spontaneous date nights can be chances to bond with your partner in a new setting. 

Seek counseling

Some couples find it hard to keep their relationship feeling fresh after the end of the honeymoon phase. A relationship counselor may be able to provide more suggestions for maintaining intimacy and passion. Counseling may also be helpful for navigating conflicts and issues that weren’t noticeable early in the relationship. 

Online therapy for couples and individuals

Relationship therapy can be a very personal experience, and it may not always be easy to find a counselor both partners feel comfortable with. Living in a remote area may make this even harder. Online therapy through BetterHelp (for individuals) and ReGain (for couples) may be a more accessible option. These platforms let you attend therapy from wherever is most convenient, with the option to change therapists at any time. 

Benefits of online relationship therapy

Studies show that online relationship therapy may be an effective alternative to in-person counseling. In 2021, scientists studied 30 couples who were receiving either face-to-face or internet-based couples counseling. They found that both groups experienced similar improvements in relationship satisfaction. In a different study from 2019, couples receiving online counseling reported that the online format increased the connection they felt with their therapists. 

Takeaway

The honeymoon phase is the period early in a relationship when you’re passionately in love with your partner. It can bring feelings of excitement and euphoria thanks to dopamine, a brain chemical linked to pleasure and motivation. As you and your partner get used to each other, the honeymoon phase eventually ends, but you can still keep the passion alive by focusing on quality time, intimacy, novelty, and communication. If you’re having trouble adjusting to the next stage of your relationship, you may also find it helpful to talk to a counselor.