How To Increase Resilience
It seems that “resilience” has become the pop culture word of the day—or even word of the year. Perhaps you’ve read news posts about building your resilience, or listened to psychologists pitch it as a crucial component to managing life’s challenges.
Life has a way of giving us challenges that may seem impossible to overcome at times. When we face such a difficulty, it tends to go one of two ways – we conquer the challenge and move on, or we find ourselves feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, and potentially wanting to give up.
According to the American Psychological Association, resilience is defined by the ability to adapt to and recover from periods of adversity. If you find yourself shrinking away from challenges or struggling to “bounce back,” it may be helpful to learn to build skills and social resources that can aid you.
What is resilience?
Your resilience can be tested by any number of challenging life experiences or situations – trauma, tragedy, natural disaster, health issues, relationship issues, and problems at work or school. If someone is resilient, it doesn't mean they don't face adversity; rather they are skilled at being able to adapt to the circumstances, obtain personal growth, and continue moving forward.
If we think of our minds as a ball of elastic material, then resilience is the ability of our ball to return to its original shape after being smashed. The greater resilience, the quicker the ball returns to the original shape. The ability to adapt and move forward from adversity may require a unique combination of behaviors, thoughts, and actions, all of which can be learned. This means that even if you currently find yourself lacking resilience or wish you had more of it, with a little bit of effort, you can improve your ability to adapt and overcome difficulties and find remarkable resilience.
What you need to know about resilience: The ability to adapt to stress
Nothing in the definition of resilience states that it is inherent or unchangeable—in fact, resilience is a skill that can be learned. All of us have the basics—or at least the building blocks—to be resilient in the face of adversity; it is simply a matter of knowing how to use these skills effectively to bounce back and move forward. One of the first steps is to understand the meaning of resilience—one of the next steps is to recognize what influences it.
Resilience theory
Resilience theory is a set of concepts related to the impact of challenging events on an individual and how well the individual adapts to psychological distress. Traumatic events will very likely put an individual under significant stress, but while some may feel broken or defeated under the pressure, others may come out even stronger. Understanding what determines whether an individual will “break” or overcome adversity is the topic of much of the research focusing on resilience.
So far, research has defined six significant predictors of resilience in human nature:
- Stressors
- External Environmental Context
- Person-Environment Interactional Processes
- Internal Self Characteristics
- Resilience Processes
- Positive Outcomes
Resilience: Process or event?
The consensus among scientists is that resilience is a process, not an event. While a single event can be traumatic and spur you to change your thoughts, behaviors, and actions, resilience is the long-term process of making these changes. It is believed that resilience is not necessarily an individual trait but is something that can be learned or developed at any time. For many people, though, this skill is most widely developed as young adults. This is because many life changes happen all at one time for many young adults as they are released into the world. Overall, as the research implies, resilience is a “mental construct.”
Does resilience change over time?
Although certain factors are set early in your life or even before you're born, resilience can change over time. There are so many determinants that affect how resilient you are, some of which are bound to change as you move through life. Your genetic code won't change, but you can learn behaviors and thoughts that can make you more resilient in the face of adversity.
Does resilience vary in different modes of life?
Researchers are interested in whether there's a carryover of resilience in one aspect of life into other aspects. For example, does someone who shows resilience in close relationships also show resilience when faced with a difficult work situation?
So far, the answer seems to be that while there may be a certain amount of carryover, an individual's resilience will likely vary based on the situation and the specific factors that surround it, for example, first responders may be highly resilient at work, but may struggle with resilience in their relationships at home.
What determines how resilient you are?
Psychologists call the factors that determine resiliency "resilience determinants." Resilience determinants typically work together to increase your ability to adapt to difficult circumstances. The more factors in your favor, the easier it will be for you to regain equilibrium in your life and rise above adversity.
Biological factors
Some researchers have pointed out that certain genes and biological conditions may contribute to your ability to adapt to adversity. However, since resilience is a process, it stands to reason that these biological conditions also may be in a state of change.
One study assessed people with PTSD before and after treatment to determine whether genetic changes happen during the process. While the study concluded that the way the genes are expressed could change and be passed on to future generations, there is debate about whether that conclusion is accurate. Still, it's a subject that may deserve more research.
Environmental factors
Environmental factors are usually referred to as "physical determinants." Physical determinants can include:
- Your natural environment, including plants and weather.
- Your manufactured environment, including buildings and transportation.
- Your housing and neighborhood.
- Exposure to toxic substances.
- Physical barriers that keep you from utilizing resources, such as reachability issues for people with disabilities.
- Aesthetic features like adequate lighting and pleasant places to rest.
Inner factors
Everyone has their own unique inner resources that may help them manage adversity. High self-esteem and confidence are positive factors adding to resilience. Perseverance and the determination to keep fighting to overcome difficulties can have a profound effect on your ability to adapt. Behavioral flexibility or being able to adapt in response to changes or challenges is a key part of building resilience. Being more concerned about the future than the past can get you through difficult times because it emphasizes the potential hope in the situation and encourages you to look forward rather than backward.
Close relationship factors
One of the most influential factors in determining resilience is the caregiver bond you had as a child. Your parents can provide a foundation of positivity and flexibility that can add to your resilience throughout your life. This factor doesn't rule your ability to adapt, but it can increase your resilience.
Other close relationships can also help determine how well you adapt. These relationships can include your parents, spouse, children, and close friends. They can often lend their support and encourage you to keep going. They can offer alternate perspectives and may help you reframe the situation more positively.
Cultural factors
Cultural factors may also have a bearing on your resiliency. Some of these factors include:
- The ability to meet your daily needs with resources like living wages.
- Social attitudes like discrimination.
- Exposure to crime.
- Community support.
- Mass media input.
- Helpful uses of technology.
- Adequate schools and education.
What does resilience mean for people with mental health conditions like anxiety?
Would you like to know how resilient you are? The Connor Davidson resilience scale is a test that can measure how well you can withstand or how fast you can recover from difficulties. More resilient people may be able to focus on minimizing the effects of mental conditions like anxiety and depression. Also, by working on resilience, a person may be able to improve symptoms of mental conditions. If you have a mental condition that was brought on by severe adversity, developing resilience may be a challenge, but it can reap many benefits. What's more, resilience may help prevent mental illness in the first place.
How to increase resilience: Top strategies for building resilience when facing adversity
Research and clinical experience suggest that resilience can be learned. Here are several coping strategies and ways to increase your resilience when faced with trying times.
Work on your self-esteem
Having confidence in your own abilities can drastically amp up your resilience as it plays a major role in coping with stress. To build resilience, it may be beneficial to find ways to boost your self-esteem such as using positive affirmations, practicing self-compassion, and reducing self-criticism.
Discover your purpose
Living your life with a sense of purpose can give you the motivation to move forward, even though you may be facing extreme difficulties. This is because a sense of purpose offers a psychological buffer that may make it easier for you to pick yourself up and keep pushing forward toward achieving your purpose.
Build a strong social network
Having a strong social network means you have people in your circle you trust to talk to when you find yourself struggling with a challenge. Talking with others won't necessarily remove the challenge, but it allows you to talk it out, receive empathy, get positive feedback, and discuss possible solutions.
Be optimistic amid stress and anxiety
Being optimistic means working to keep a positive attitude even in the face of adversity. Focusing on positive outcomes may help you recognize the challenges you face as only temporary and acknowledge that you may have the skills to overcome. These include stressful events, which sometimes cause you to be anxious and weak, but you can learn the skills to overcome them.
Practice gratitude
Studies have found that practicing gratitude regularly may help individuals remain resilient. Some ways to practice gratitude include practicing mindfulness, keeping a gratitude journal, giving a thank you note to someone that makes your life easier, or meditating.
Engage in self-care for building resilience
Practicing self-care means doing the things necessary to keep your mind and body in working order so you are ready to take on challenges as they arise. Self-care is different for everyone and may include finding ways to manage stress, exercising, taking a break from social media, pampering yourself, spending time with loved ones, or getting healthy sleep.
Get support from a therapist to build resilience
Resilience is something that can be taught and learned, but sometimes we may need a little help and guidance. While we can look to others we know who have high resilience, another option is to talk to a licensed counselor. A counselor may be able to help you evaluate your own behaviors and thought patterns and guide you to make the necessary changes and adjustments to increase your resilience. Resilience-training programs often use discussions, role plays, and practical exercises to reinforce and build resilience.
While there's always the option of finding a therapist's office, juggling your schedule to fit in an available appointment and commuting to a therapist’s office may not be suitable for everyone. BetterHelp eliminates these stressors involved in traditional counseling by offering professional counseling services online. This means you can talk to a therapist from the comfort of your own space, at a time that is convenient for you, without worrying about commuting or being put on a waiting list.
The counselors at BetterHelp are licensed and certified and have worked with countless others to improve their resilience in the face of adversity.
Takeaway
Frequently asked questions
What are the things that make it difficult to build resilience?
Several things can drain resilience and make it difficult to bounce back from challenges. Here are some common factors:
- Chronic stress, overwhelm, burnout
- Negative thought patterns
- Lack of a support system or connection with others
- Unhealthy relationships
- Physical health issues
- Unresolved grief or trauma
- Physical health issues
- Lack of direction or purpose
- Unhealthy relationships
- Instability or upheaval
- Neglecting self-care
What type of personality is resilient?
There is ample research on what makes a person resilient. For example, one 2021 study found a strong correlation between self-determination and resilience. Another 2018 study found that extroverted people with high agreeableness and emotional stability levels were more resilient.
Both studies asked participants to complete the Big Five Trait Inventory—an assessment of individuals' personality characteristics within the Big Five Traits framework. Each person falls somewhere on a continuum for each of the five traits, and together, they form a comprehensive picture of an individual's personality. The researchers aimed to use the Big Five Traits Inventory to identify the personality traits most associated with resiliency. The Big Five traits include:
Openness to experiences: Individuals scoring highly in this category are seen as curious, imaginative, creative, and open to new ideas and experiences. Individuals with lower scores are practical and predictable, preferring routine over change.
Conscientiousness: People with high conscientiousness scores are reliable, organized, responsible, goal-oriented, and better able to control their impulses. Individuals with lower scores tend to be more disorganized, impulsive, and spontaneous and may struggle with planning and following through on tasks.
Agreeableness: Individuals high on the agreeableness scale tend to be more empathetic, compassionate, trusting, considerate, and helpful. Individuals scoring on the low end of the agreeableness scale might show traits of stubbornness, skepticism, and competitiveness and may be seen as less empathetic.
Extraversion: Extroverted people are outgoing, sociable, energetic, and enjoy being around others. Less extroverted people are more reserved, prefer solitude or small groups, and may be more reflective and independent.
Neuroticism: Individuals with higher levels of neuroticism are more prone to experiencing negative emotions such as anxiety, anger, or depression. They may be more sensitive to stress and struggle with emotional stability. Individuals who score low on neuroticism are more emotionally stable, calm, and less reactive to stress. They tend to be more resilient and less prone to mood swings.
What are effective methods for how to increase resilience?
Researchers at Yale University studied coping and resilience among staff members, healthcare workers, faculty, and students and their families throughout the COVID-19 pandemic through virtual town hall meetings. The purpose of the meetings was to give people an interactive space to share experiences and resilience strategies. Among the participants, scientists found common strategies that boosted resiliency:
- Acceptance: Learn to identify and accept things you can't change and focus on what you can.
- Reframing: Shift your attitude about limitations and challenges from something negative to the possibility of something positive.
- Social connection: Stay connected to your support system.
- Self-care: Care for your physical health through regular exercise, eating a nutritious diet, and getting quality sleep. Care for yourself emotionally and mentally by doing things that help you manage stress and make you feel good.
- Staying active: Spend time doing things that nourish and bring you joy. Seek out new experiences and learning opportunities. Learning a new skill or doing something creative contributes to self-growth and well-being.
Participants also reported that making certain practical adjustments at work and home contributed to their resiliency during the pandemic. In many cases, such adjustments motivated individuals to initiate change and create a new, healthy perspective beyond the pandemic. Many participants said that limiting their news and media consumption during the pandemic reduced feelings of overwhelm and strengthened their resiliency in the face of stress.
What is stronger than resilience in the realm of psychology and mental health?
The American Psychological Association's (APA) definition of resilience is: "the process and outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences, especially through mental, emotional, and behavioral flexibility and adjustment to external and internal demands."
The APA recognizes no official word to describe something stronger than resilience. However, author and academic researcher Nassim Nicholas Taleb coined the term "antifragile" in an attempt to define it. Antifragility refers to systems or entities that actually improve or grow stronger when exposed to stress, adversity, or uncertainty.
Unlike resilience, which is about returning to the original state after a setback, antifragility involves becoming stronger when faced with challenges. For example, the human immune system can become stronger when exposed to certain stressors. Similarly, businesses that adapt and thrive during economic downturns might be considered antifragile.
Which gender is more resilient?
Studies yield conflicting findings on which gender is more resilient. Resilience is influenced by many factors that potentially influence how successfully each gender copes with challenges. Some might include:
Biology
Studies suggest that women may be more resilient in dealing with chronic stress, possibly due to hormonal differences, such as the presence of estrogen, which can enhance stress resilience. On the other hand, men might show higher resilience in acute stress situations, where physical endurance and fight-or-flight responses are crucial.
Culture and society
Gender roles in society may encourage women to develop emotional intelligence and adaptability, contributing to resilience. However, they may also face societal pressures and disparities that negatively impact their resilience. Cultural expectations may push men to suppress emotions, which can be both a strength and a weakness in terms of resilience.
Psychological factors
Women tend to seek social support more often, which can significantly affect resilience. They may be more likely to engage in coping strategies that involve talking about their feelings and relying on networks of friends and family. Men often engage in problem-solving and action-oriented coping strategies, which can be effective in certain situations but can also lead to less emotional expression.
What does poor resilience look like?
Signs of diminished ability to cope with adversity or challenges can emerge in various emotional, behavioral, and physical ways. They can vary in intensity and between individuals. Recognizing the signs of low resiliency can help people find support and develop coping strategies. Here are some signs of low resiliency:
- Easily overwhelmed by minor setbacks or everyday challenges.
- Persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, or a lack of interest in once enjoyable activities
- Feelings of inadequacy and low self-image, often leading to self-doubt and self-criticism
- Frequent mood swings, irritability, or difficulty calming down after an upsetting event
- Procrastinating and avoiding challenges or difficult situations rather than confronting them
- Engaging in reckless, risky behaviors as a coping mechanism or means of escape
- Sleep disturbances
- Troubles with focus and memory
- Pessimistic or catastrophic thinking
- Physical fatigue, exhaustion
- Increased susceptibility to illness
- Headaches, stomachaches, or other stress-related physical symptoms
- Withdrawing from social activities, friends, or family
- Difficulty maintaining healthy relationships
How do resilient people behave?
Resilient people exhibit thoughts and behaviors that enable them to navigate stress, adversity, and challenges effectively. Here are some key characteristics and behaviors that resilient individuals typically display:
They have a positive outlook
Resilient people tend to view challenges as temporary and an opportunity for growth. They focus on positive outcomes and maintain hope even in difficult situations. Positive outlook is often associated with thankfulness. People with a positive outlook who practice gratitude may be better able to focus on what is going well in their lives, fostering a sense of contentment and perspective.
They are self-aware
Resilient individuals are aware of their emotions and can identify their feelings without being overwhelmed. They can remain calm and composed in stressful situations. They may better recognize how their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors influence their coping with adversity. Resilient people reflect on their experiences, learn from mistakes, and use those lessons to improve their future responses to adversity.
They have self-efficacy and a sense of purpose
Resilient people believe they have the power to influence events and outcomes in their lives. They demonstrate perseverance and determination, pushing forward despite obstacles or setbacks. They believe they can grow and improve through effort, viewing challenges as opportunities for learning rather than insurmountable barriers. Resilient people often have a strong sense of purpose or meaning in their lives, which provides motivation and direction during tough times.
They are flexible
People with resiliency can adapt to changing circumstances and are open to new ideas, solutions, and approaches when facing challenges. Because of their adaptability, individuals like this might be more likely to find creative ways to solve problems, even when resources are limited.
They have strong problem-solving skills
Individuals who are resilient approach problems head-on rather than avoiding them. They break down challenges into manageable steps and work systematically toward solutions. They are confident and decisive when making choices, even under uncertainty.
They maintain social connection
Resilient individuals maintain solid and supportive relationships and are unafraid to seek help when needed. They recognize the value of social resources and support in overcoming challenges. They often show empathy towards others, strengthening their social bonds and creating a sense of community.
They use healthy coping strategies and self-care
Healthy coping strategies might include mindfulness, meditation, or other relaxation techniques to manage stress and maintain mental clarity. Resilient individuals also maintain healthy habits such as regular exercise, a nutritious diet, and sufficient sleep, contributing to their overall well-being and ability to cope with stress. People with high resiliency practice self-compassion, treating themselves with kindness and understanding during difficult moments instead of engaging in self-criticism.
What causes lack of resilience?
Causes of diminished resilience typically differ between people and can stem from a combination of biological, psychological, and environmental factors. People with such experiences don't always lack resilience, and people who lack resistance may have never been exposed to these factors. Still, there are some common causes for why people might lack resilience:
Adverse childhood experiences (ACEs)
Trauma, abuse, neglect, or household dysfunction in childhood can significantly impact an individual's ability to develop resilience. These experiences can lead to chronic stress and affect brain development, making it harder to cope with challenges later in life. Growing up without consistent emotional support or positive role models can hinder the growth of coping skills and self-efficacy, as well.
Mental health conditions
Chronic mental health conditions such as depression and anxiety can negatively impact our ability to develop resilience by making it difficult to think clearly, maintain hope, or take proactive steps in response to challenges. Persistent negative self-beliefs and low self-worth associated with many mental health disorders can reduce the confidence needed to face and overcome adversity.
Lack of social support and connection
A lack of solid and supportive relationships can leave individuals feeling isolated and overwhelmed, making it harder to cope with stress and bounce back from setbacks. Difficulty expressing emotions and needs or establishing connections with others can lead to unresolved issues and decreased resilience.
Negative thinking
Consistently expecting the worst possible outcomes (sometimes called catastrophizing) can create a sense of helplessness and diminish one's ability to respond effectively to challenges. Overthinking problems without seeking solutions can reinforce feelings of anxiety and despair, also preventing recovery from setbacks.
Chronic stress
Prolonged exposure to high levels of stress without adequate coping mechanisms can lead to burnout, exhaustion, and a diminished ability to handle future stressors. Insufficient rest and recovery between stressful events can also erode resilience.
Lack of purpose or meaning
Individuals lacking a sense of purpose, goals, or direction in life might struggle to find motivation or meaning in challenging times, weakening resilience. Questions about the meaning of life or one's place in the world, especially during times of crisis, can lead to feelings of despair and decreased resilience.
Poor physical health
Dealing with ongoing health issues can drain energy and resources, making it harder to maintain resilience. Additionally, poor sleep, diet, and exercise habits can negatively impact mental and physical health, reducing the ability to cope with stress.
Rigid thinking
Resilient individuals can adapt to change or new circumstances. An inability to remain flexible in challenging times can make it difficult to cope with adversity. Rigid thinking can also lead to frustration and feeling "stuck" when faced with challenges. In some cases, people with rigid expectations or perfectionism may have difficulty finding resilience.
Environmental stressors
Many factors in one's environment can create obstacles to resilience—for example, poverty, unemployment, and lack of access to resources. Systemic discrimination, racism, or other forms of oppression can wear down an individual's resilience over time. Additionally, societal expectations, cultural norms, and traditional gender roles may stigmatize emotional expression in men and place pressure on women to prioritize others' needs over their own—all contributors to low resiliency.
Is resilient high or low self-esteem?
Resilience is a trait often found in individuals with high self-esteem, but they are not the same thing. Resilience is the ability to cope with challenges, stress, or adversity. Self-esteem refers to how an individual values and perceives themselves. People with high self-esteem may have higher self-value and more confidence in their ability to overcome challenges. Individuals with low self-esteem may doubt their capabilities and value, making it harder to face and recover from challenges.
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