Understand And Embrace Emotional Impermanence For Mental Health

Emotions can seem all-consuming in the present moment, and you might think they’ll last forever. However, feelings naturally ebb and flow, shifting over time, even if the change seems subtle. Emotional impermanence is the concept that all emotions, whether sadness, joy, jealousy, or excitement, are impermanent. Learning to recognize and embrace that no emotion is permanent can be beneficial for emotional regulation, resilience, and mental health.

For some people, emotions may not be overpowering, and they may come and go without much consideration. For others, especially those experiencing mood disorders or emotional instability, getting caught up in intense feelings can be more manageable. However, regardless of whether you have a mental health condition, understanding emotional impermanence can help you navigate challenges, manage reactions, and build a healthier relationship with your thoughts and emotions.

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What is emotional impermanence?

Emotional impermanence is a concept in psychology that refers to the natural tendency of emotions to shift or change over time. Similar to the ever-changing environment of the outside world, your internal emotional state is also constantly evolving. Even intense experiences are temporary and evolve in response to thoughts, feelings, and outward behaviors.  

How feelings or emotions naturally change over time

Emotions are influenced by the internal state of being and the external world around you, making them a dynamic part of the human experience. An intense feeling such as anger may fade and give way to relaxation and happiness over hours, days, or weeks. For example, after dropping your groceries on the sidewalk, you may experience frustration and anger; however, once you’ve made it home safely, your feelings may shift to relaxation and happiness. Feelings aren’t always incited by external events such as dropping your groceries on the street. Emotions are internal responses to various factors, including eating habits, exercise, and relationships.

How emotional impermanence shapes decisions, reactions, and mental health

Understanding emotional impermanence can influence how you respond to stress, conflict, and decision-making. You may react compulsively if a specific emotion seems overwhelming and persistent. However, recognizing that feelings fluctuate can create space for patience, reflection, and conscious decision-making. For instance, research suggests that recognizing impermanence can enhance emotional responses to stressors.

When experiencing anger or disappointment, acknowledging the impermanence of the situation and taking a moment to reflect before responding can lead to a better outcome. A slight pause before responding may help you to make more thoughtful decisions.

Psychological theories supporting emotional impermanence

Dating back to the 19th century, psychologists have explored the impermanent nature of emotions and their fluctuation in response to thoughts and experiences. Several psychological theories provide some insight into emotional impermanence as an integral part of well-being, including the following:

• Cognitive appraisal theory: This theory posits that emotions are shaped by one's perception of events rather than the events themselves. A change in perception can change your emotional response.
• Hedonic adaptation theory: Hedonic adaptation explains how strong emotions, both positive and negative, return to baseline over time. There are individual differences in emotional adaptation. However, over time, the excitement you feel after a major success will eventually stabilize, just as distress from a difficult situation fades. 
• Cognitive behavioral theory: This theory emphasizes the connection between thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, suggesting that you can influence emotions by modifying your thought patterns.

These theories illustrate the concept of emotional impermanence, which posits that no emotional state is permanent and that one's perspective on a given situation plays a significant role.

Emotional impermanence and object impermanence

You may struggle to recognize that emotions persist and continue to exist even when you are not actively experiencing them. For example, in times of solitude, you may forget that your connections with friends and family still exist. This emotional challenge can be especially difficult for people with object impermanence, the inability to recognize that emotions, objects, and situations continue to exist even when they’re not visible.

Object permanence, emotional permanence, and relationships

Object permanence develops in early childhood, helping you to retain awareness of objects, experiences, and people. For example, babies who haven’t yet developed object permanence may believe that a hidden toy has disappeared. Emotional permanence is the emotional equivalent of object permanence. Without emotional permanence, it can be challenging to remember that feelings and relationships persist even when they’re not present.

If you lack emotional permanence, the ability to trust that someone’s feelings remain consistent for you, even when they’re not present, difficulties may arise. You may question the stability of a relationship, seek constant reassurance, struggle to recall positive joint experiences or feel emotionally disconnected from loved ones.

Emotional impermanence and mindfulness: Benefits and challenges

Mindfulness is the practice of observing thoughts and feelings in the present moment without judgment and with acceptance. The practice of mindfulness encourages an awareness of emotional impermanence. 

In many meditation practices, thoughts can be likened to clouds in the sky, transient and ever-changing. Similarly to emotional impermanence, mindfulness emphasizes the temporary nature of thoughts and feelings. Research indicates that even brief daily meditation can enhance mood, attention, and memory. By accepting the impermanent nature of thoughts and feelings, through meditation, individuals can enhance mental health and well-being.

The benefits

Through mindfulness practices such as deep breathing, meditation, and self-reflection, you can cultivate the ability to embrace emotional impermanence. Mindfulness and emotional impermanence are interconnected, and together, they can help individuals:

• Navigate difficult emotions: Understanding that emotions ebb and flow allows people to observe and accept emotions without judgment. 
• Prevent emotional reactivity: Instead of unconsciously reacting to strong emotional responses, understanding impermanence and practicing mindfulness can help you to pause and respond more thoughtfully.
• Foster resilience: Accepting that emotions associated with setbacks and stressful experiences are temporary can help you bounce back effectively.
• Reduce mental health symptoms: Among supporting various aspects of health, research shows that mindfulness can alleviate symptoms of anxiety and depression.

The challenges

While emotional impermanence and mindfulness can be valuable tools for mental health and well-being, embracing them can be challenging, especially since it can be a human tendency to seek stability. Challenges may include the following: 

• Emotional regulation: When people experience emotional volatility, characterized by intense fluctuations in emotions, their ability to feel secure, reduce attachment anxiety, and maintain a sense of control can be challenging to access.
• Relationship difficulties: Since emotions are ever-changing, people may struggle to trust that someone's love or care will remain consistent over time. This distrust may cause them to seek constant validation through physical touch, words, and other means.  
• Mental health symptoms: Constant fear and anxiety about losing connections with loved ones may be prevalent in those with emotional impermanence. 

Emotional impermanence in mental health disorders like borderline personality disorder (BPD)

For people with certain mental health conditions, emotional impermanence may seem more like instability than a natural shift in thoughts and feelings over time. For example, this symptom is common in people with borderline personality disorder (BPD) since the symptoms associated with BPD can cause rapid and unpredictable changes in emotion. 

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) and emotional instability

Emotional instability is an emotional state characterized by difficulty regulating and maintaining control over one's emotions. Often, the feelings experienced are intense and unpredictable. Research shows that people with borderline personality disorder (BPD) experience emotional instability; therefore, emotional impermanence can be challenging for them. 

Similarly to those who find emotional impermanence challenging, individuals with BPD may also have difficulty trusting emotional consistency in relationships. Structured support, such as dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), can help clients build emotional stability while still embracing the natural ebb and flow of emotions.

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Fostering positive feelings or emotions with online therapy

Online therapy can offer a structured and supportive environment for individuals seeking to develop emotional intelligence, cultivate positive emotions, and comprehend the impermanence of emotions. Online therapy makes attending sessions easy, enabling you to speak to a professional on your own schedule, from any location, and can be at an affordable rate. For example, through a platform like BetterHelp, you can schedule weekly sessions via phone, video, or live chat with your therapist and find a specialist in specific conditions, such as BPD. 

A study on the effectiveness of mindfulness-based cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT-M) shows that CBT-M effectively treats depression, often by changing individuals' relationships with thoughts and feelings. Online, you can learn coping mechanisms and mindfulness strategies to deal with various mental health symptoms, such as unhealthy attachment, anxiety, depression, and stress. Interventions can help you learn to embrace emotional impermanence or the ebb and flow of emotions that occur in everyday life.

Takeaway

Emotional impermanence is a natural part of everyday life, and embracing it can be beneficial for mental health, well-being, and emotional balance. Even when emotions are overwhelming, understanding that they are temporary can be a source of comfort and uplift. Mindfulness practices and therapy may help you to embrace emotional impermanence.

For those who experience emotional regulation or mood disorders such as bipolar disorder, in-person or online therapy can provide valuable tools for understanding and accepting emotions. With the guidance of a mental health professional, you can work on expressing emotions, developing self-compassion, and increasing awareness. This process may address some of the challenges associated with emotional impermanence and foster healthy relationships. By recognizing that emotions are impermanent, individuals can form a healthier relationship with their thoughts and feelings, responding to everyday situations with clarity and compassion.