Weather Life's Challenges By Strengthening Everyday Resilience

Everyone experiences challenges in their daily lives. Whether you get a flat tire, miss your train, spill coffee on your favorite shirt, forget your keys at home, or get into an argument with your partner at the end of a long day, it may seem like there are often almost anything can ruin your days where nothing goes right. However, it doesn’t have to be feel this way. Resilience refers to one’s a person’s ability to adapt to difficult life experiences using behavioral, mental, or emotional flexibility. You might think of resilience in relation to significant life changes, like the death of a loved one or losing a job, but everyday resilience includes handling the things life inevitably throws at you. Keep reading to learn more about everyday resilience and how using simple science-based strategies can help you build inner strength to tackle daily challenges, both big and small.

Where does resilience come from?

Resilience is what gives people the strength to deal with hardship. It’s something that people can draw upon when they need to get through tough times and bounce back afterwards. Some challenges might change the course of your life, like the end of a marriage, losing your job, or a life-threatening illness, but minor everyday challenges require resilience, too. Everyone has bad days, but some people handle daily setbacks much more easily than others because they have a high level of resilience.

Some people have personality traits that may help them be more resilient. Here are some of the characteristics and features of resilient individuals

• Optimism. People who see the world more positively, not only handle challenges with more grit, but can also often bounce back more quickly, too. Optimistic people usually expect positive outcomes, feel more hopeful, and are less likely to avoid their problems. Someone who is optimistic might wake up to a flat tire and see it as an opportunity to work remotely at a coffee shop while they wait for the repairs instead of letting it ruin their entire day.
• Cognitive reframing. Cognitive reframing is being able to monitor your negative thoughts and replace them with more positive ones, which can actively change how you feel about a situation. Say you’re cooking dinner and burn the chicken, but the rice and vegetables are still good. Instead of getting upset that the chicken is ruined, someone skilled at cognitive reframing might shrug their shoulders and think, “Well, at least the rice and vegetables will still be delicious!!”.
• Active coping. Someone who employs active coping uses behavioral or psychological strategies to reduce stress by dealing directly with the stressor instead of running away from it. This is the opposite of avoidant coping, which attempts to reduce stress in ways other than directly confronting the stressor. Active coping has been consistently associated with resilience. As far as everyday stresses go, someone who gets in an argument with their spouse a loved one and uses active coping might continue talking about the issue, attempting to work it out openly, whereas someone using avoidant coping might be passive-aggressive or try to avoid their frustrations by having a drink or picking a fight about something else.
• Social support. Having a social support system can be an essential factor in resilience, and research shows that both having social support and seeking out social support matter. So, it’s not just having people around you that can make you resilient,; it’s also being able to go to them and ask for help when you need it. 
• A sense of humor. Many people use humor to cope with stress. Research shows that the reason for this is two-fold. Firstly, being able to laugh when things get difficult can be an effective way to cut the tension; secondly, humor can attract social support. Some people might feel more comfortable lending a helping hand if you’re making light of the situation to break tensions rather than projecting anger, anxiety, or sadness.
• Mindfulness. Mindfulness is the idea of living in the moment and being aware, not only of the things you can hear, smell, see, taste, and smell around you, but also of how you interact with those things and how you feel inside. Mindfulness practices and personal reflection exercises require actively disregarding distracting thoughts. Some research suggests that mindfulness can improve psychological well-being and build reduce avoidant coping mechanisms, which can contribute to resilience.

How to become more resilient

Anyone can learn resilience. While some personality traits and other factors can make you more resilient, this vital skill ultimately comes from the right blend of thoughts, actions, and behaviors that anyone can develop. If you need help gaining inner strength and weathering life's challenges, here is a practical guide to building inner resilience. 

• Reframe negative thoughts: When possible, try to look at situations realistically instead of seeing the worst-case scenario, especially regarding day-to-day annoyances. For example, if you get a flat tire, it’s natural to feel annoyed or frustrated, but you may also be able to recognize that it’s not the end of the world. Reframing your thinking to see the positive aspects of life can help you get out of a negative mindset. Sometimes, shifting your perception is all it takes to get through a difficult time and see the light on the other side. 
• Focus on what you an control: Focusing on what you can control can be hard when something life-changing happens. You might not feel like you can control anything if you face a job loss, death in the family, or divorce. When dealing with everyday challenges, though, it may be a bit more manageable. For example, if you’re arguing with your partner, you can apologize and choose not to escalate the argument. You can decide not to say something out of anger. There’s no way to go back in time and change the past, so try to shift your focus onto what you can do right here and now to improve your situation. You may find that you have more control than you thought. 
• Reach out to your support system: Remember, resilient people not only have a strong support system, but they also know when to go to them for help. Asking for support can be difficult for some people, but sharing your frustrations and discussing things with a trusted friend or family member can give you insight into how you can meet these challenges head-on. If you find that you need more assistance than your loved ones can provide, talking to a therapist can be a useful way to gain the one-on-one support you may need to move forward.

Gaining resilience with online therapy

If you need help learning how to increase your resilience to overcome life’s daily challenges, consider working with a licensed professional, like a therapist. A therapist can equip you with the coping mechanisms and skills needed to face difficulties with the right frame of mind and bounce back more quickly. If you don’t feel comfortable speaking with a professional face to face or need a more convenient way to get support, online therapy could be an alternative option. 

With online therapy through platforms like BetterHelp, you can attend sessions from the comfort of your home or anywhere you have an internet connection. When you sign up, you can get matched with a therapist within 48 hours, allowing you to start your journey sooner rather than being placed on a waiting list. 

The efficacy of online therapy for building resilience

Online therapy has been shown to be just as effective as in-person therapy for navigating a range of mental health concerns. In one study, researchers assessed the efficacy of an online positive-psychology-based intervention for building resilience in university students experiencing high levels of stress. They discovered that the Space for Resilience intervention successfully the Space for Resilience intervention successfully improved all participants’ levels of resilience and associated outcomes.